Last week, a retired school teacher named Deborah Parish came before the Texas Board of Education to argue for sex education in schools. “Kids are not ready to be parents, nor are they ready to have AIDS,” she said. I don’t think anyone’s ever ready to have AIDS, but that’s besides the point. “I don’t think any of these people know you can have sexual satisfaction without taking your clothes off,” she said. “OK, embarrassment, I’m 56 years old and I’m a virgin … technically.” A few minutes later, Deborah was interrupted and told that she had arrived to the hearing a day late for that particular topic. The Board was currently discussing physical education and alcohol awareness. [Gawker
] — Awwwwkard. Keep reading »
This week I got a letter from a teeny bopper, who just can’t seem to “She Bop,” if you know what I mean. She wrote:
I’m 19, have never had a boyfriend, and am still a virgin.
I’m not coming to you for relationship advice; the way I see it I don’t need a man right now. The thing is, as I’m sure you know, sex dominates culture. Just because I’ve never done it doesn’t mean I haven’t heard stories, and it’s made me pretty damn horny. I’m kind of curious about masturbation, but I feel like I’m just doing it wrong. Nothing seems to really get me there. Do you have advice for a beginner like me?
Well, honey, even a ho like me will tell you that there’s no rush to lose your virginity — especially if you’ haven’t orgasmed on your own first! Lettin’ some dude sock it to you before you know how to get off isn’t gonna do it for ya. No man is that good. You’ve got to take your O into your own hands! You’ve got to solve, or rather diddle, your own ecstasy riddle. So, all that work you’ve been doing feeling around down there, even if it hasn’t finished the job, is a good start! Now here’s how you can take yourself all the way home. Keep reading »
I was twenty-nine, single again after a five-year marriage, and a virgin. When I met my now ex-husband Mike, I had just turned 21. We met at small Catholic liberal arts college, and even though I no longer believed in Jesus, the Saints, the Bible, God, really any of that. I was a virgin then, and I was a virgin when we divorced.
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Once would have been more than enough.
A Russian woman, known only as “Natalia K,” allegedly underwent six hymenoplasties to “restore her virginity” for her husband. Keep reading »
Contrary to what you’ve seen on DVD, 40-year-old virgins aren’t hairy, awkward, endearing action figure collectors who work in electronic stores. A recent study of 7,000 people discovered the traits real middle-aged virgins tend to possess. Keep reading »