Condoms are even more useful than we thought. If you’re not getting laid currently, you can always use your spare condoms to make music. The message here is clear: It doesn’t matter how you use condoms, just that you use them. [Buzzfeed]
Tag Archives: viral video
Here’s The Audio Of Gilbert Gottfried Reading “50 Shades Of Grey” That You Didn’t Ask For
We know you have reservations about reading the hot new BDSM “mommy porn” erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey in public. What if someone from church sees?! What would your grandma think?! That’s why we couldn’t be more pleased talented voiceover actor Gilbert Gottfried has done the audiobook for 50 Shades. No one has to know you’re listening to a (NSFW!) filthy story about fisting and Anastasia’s slapped clitoris … read in the sultry voice of Iago from “Aladdin.” [Jest.com]
Baby Genius Needs To Poop On “The Today Show”
This segment proves that three-year-old geniuses are just like other toddlers in the sense that when they have to poop when they have to poop. Even a Mensa-level IQ can’t help this toddler predict when her bowels are going to go haywire on a live “Today Show” segment. Too many doughnuts in the green room. I hate when that happens. Everyone seems more concerned with Emmy’s interest in insects than her dire potty emergency and request to “take it out.” I really hope this moment doesn’t become the metaphor for the rest of her life. [Videogum]
Lion Tries To Eat Baby In Zebra Stripe Hoodie
Baby Jack’s parents dressed him in a cute black and white striped hoodie and took him to the zoo. Here’s what happened when he plopped down in front of the glass at the lion exhibit. Thankfully, it’s really strong glass.
5 Marriage Tips From Grandma And Grandpa
Pre-Marriage Questions
Crucial questions these celebs forgot to ask before they tied the knot. 7 Photos »
Finally, some relationship advice that’s actually useful. Selma and Kenny, who have been married for 72 years (holy crap!), offered up five tips (actually six — but who’s keeping track) for their grandson Brian and his new wife Sue on their wedding day. Be good to each other, keep your fridge stocked so you won’t be “hungry or starved,” save your money, keep your house clean, travel (so you can take a picture of your husband flirting with a topless woman) and don’t argue (unless it’s about not arguing). My God, I love these two — especially when they talk in unison. I need them to make more advice videos. [Telegraph UK]
Awesome Time-Lapse Video: Birth To 12 Years In Just 3 Minutes
Frans Hofmeester is the father of two kids, Lotte, 12, and Vince, 9. Thanks to the wonders of technology, he was able to film their growth from birth to present day, editing the subtle shifts in facial expressions, hair length, tooth emergence, etc. into these three-minute odes to their life thus far. See Lotte’s video above and Vince’s video after the jump; I look forward to part two, in which we see Lotte’s sullen teenager phase emerge! [via Hyper Vocal] Keep reading »
A Dude Breaks Down The Types Of Female Poopers
First of all, comedian Robbie Sherrard (or should I call him Robbie Shitard?) is to be commended for keeping a straight face as he says that women only poop about once a week (unless they drink coffee). Good one, Robbie! Then he goes on to describe the three different type of girlfriend poopers. There’s the self-conscious pooper, who goes to great lengths to never drop a “Hiroshitma” in her dude’s presence; the TMI pooper who takes Instagram photos of her deuce; and the middle-ground pooper, who quietly does her business and never speaks of it. I’m going to get working on my rebuttal video about the three types of pooper boyfriends: The whiney pooper who won’t shit without his baby wipes and often carries them on his person; the considerate pooper, who uses air freshener for your benefit; and the bomb dropper, who proudly clogs your toilet every time he goes. [Buzzfeed]
Veggie Food Porn Brought To You By Courtney Stodden
Well, well, well. Look what Courtney Stodden found at the grocery store when she was shopping for some “sexy veggies.” A super sensual tomato with a penis! Naturally, the occasion was worthy of its own video (and an entire tube of frosted lip gloss). But this isn’t all about the tomato penis. There is a teaching moment here: Veggies can be hot and vegetarians have way better sex. Noted. Thank you, Court. [Dlisted]
Sweet Brown Is The New Antoine Dodson
I was starting to think the auto-tuning trend was over, but it’s back, bitches! You may remember Antoine Dodson of “hide ya kids, hide ya wife” fame. Well, he’s legitimately famous now. I mean, kind of. He’s been on TV and has an expensive weave now. So, it’s time for another news to auto-tune star. Enter Sweet Brown, who “didn’t have time for bronchitis” after a nearby complex caught on fire.You saw her news clip last week. This week, she got an auto-tuned remix, “I Got Bronchitis.” Yes please. [Buzzfeed]
Woman Chops Onions On The Subway, Calls It Performance Art
When you live in NYC, you see your fair share of “performance art” on the subway. My personal favorite is the old lady who plays “The Chicken Dance” on a recorder. I always watch her. But everyone else gets the Blank Stare. That’s when I put on my headphones and pretend like I don’t see them. This performance artist is impossible to ignore. Her act consists of chopping onions … on my subway line. God, I hate onions so much. And I hate this idea even more. Lord help this woman if she ever finds herself sharing a train car with me. This is just unspeakable. Abominable. Not entertaining or thought provoking or edgy. Just rude! I’m surprised none of the passengers organized a mutiny. Since when are New Yorkers so polite? [Buzzfeed]
