When I was 18, I moved to Los Angeles to audition for roles. My boyfriend planned to come later. One night, a guy friend called. He said he needed a good night’s sleep for a meeting, as he’d been crashing on someone’s couch. I had known him for some time, so I said to come over and I set him up with a clean towel. We sat on the bed and talked for a while, then I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was inside me.
At first, I felt so disoriented and numb, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I wondered if I had done something to give him the wrong idea. I felt afraid of making him angry. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to offend him. I just wanted it to be over. My childhood had come back to haunt me again: Because of the physical abuse, I didn’t believe there were borders between other people’s bodies and my own. I didn’t believe I had a voice.
Actress AnnaLynne McCord — best known for her role on the “90210″ reboot — has written a very powerful essay for Cosmopolitan called “Why I’m Done Staying Quiet About My Sexual Assault” that I urge you to read, as it demonstrates how a woman’s feeling of ownership over her body can be chipped away piece by piece. Keep reading »
It feels like the entire Internet is having one big argument about Elliot Rodger, the 22-year-old who murdered six people near the UC Santa Barbara campus before killing himself last Friday.
Did he mostly have a problem with misogyny? Did he mostly have a problem with mental illness? Did he mostly have a problem with a spoiled and entitled upbringing? Is it possible it could be a combination of all of these things?
Like many people this weekend, I read (okay, briskly skimmed — he was not a good writer) his 140-page “manifesto,” “My Twisted World: The Story Of Elliot Rodger,” looking to better understand this tragedy. There’s plenty to unpack there, what with his misogynist, crazy ideas about women deserving to be placed in concentration camps and only used for sex. But what hasn’t gotten quite as much media attention is the area where Elliot Rodger’s misogynistic entitlement and his racist views intersected. Keep reading »
There have been so many pieces analyzing UC Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger and his extreme misogyny towards women. Here are a few must-read pieces:
- “Let’s Call The Isla Vista Killings What They Were: Misogynist Extremism,” by Laurie Penny, New Statesman
- “Elliot Rodger And Poisonous Ideals Of Masculinity,” by Noah Berlatsky, TheAtlantic.com
- “Elliot Rodger And The Price Of Toxic Masculinity,” by Harris O’Malley, The Daily Dot
- “How Pickup Artist Philosophy And Its More Misogynist Backlash Shaped The Mind Of Alleged Killer Elliot Rodger,” by Amanda Marcotte, The American Prospect
- “Why It’s So Hard For Men To See Misogyny,” by Amanda Hess, Slate
- “Dude, It’s You,” by John Beckett, Patheos.com
- “Inside The ‘Manosphere’ That Inspired Santa Barbara Shooter Elliot Rodger,” by Caitlin Dewey, Washington Post
- “Your Princess Is In Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement And Nerds,” by Arthur Chu, The Daily Beast
Today’s Lady News will return to its normal news-roundup column tomorrow.
[UPDATE, 5/28:] The New York Times reports that Farazana Parveen was three months pregnant when she was killed. [New York Times]
A 25-year-old woman was murdered by nearly 20 family members in Pakistan today because she “dishonored” the family by marrying the man she loved.
Faranza Bibi was stoned to death in a so-called “honor killing” in broad daylight while waiting outside of a Lahore court with her husband. Faranza had intended to challenge a kidnapping charge filed by her family. She intended to tell the court she willingly married the man of her own choosing, Muhammad Iqbal, and did not want an arranged marriage to her cousin. Before the court opened, her father, brothers and former fiance descended upon her with bricks and sticks. Faranza was pronounced dead at a hospital from severe head injuries. Iqbal managed to escape the attack. Keep reading »
“Life is not fair. One can either accept that fact, keeling over in defeat; or one can harness the strength to fight against it. My destiny was to fight against the unfairness of the world.” – Elliot Rodger
On Friday night a man stabbed and killed three men in his apartment, got into his car, drove through the postcard-pretty college town of Isla Vista, California, and killed three more people while injuring 13 others.
He was Not All Men, of course, just a deeply disturbed, homicidal 22-year old who has been identified as Elliot Rodger.
Before I write anything, I first need to pause and offer my sincerest condolences to the loved ones of those who were killed. Like the rest of the world, I am also heartsick for those who were injured and traumatized by this attack. Nothing anyone can do or say will ever bring them back and that is a tragedy no words will ever rectify. Keep reading »