So I know that, by virtue of being female, I am supposed to love “Grease.” But to be honest, I’ve just never gotten that into it. Something about the message, “If you want the guy … change yourself and wear more pleather,” just never sat that well with me. So I’m wondering why “Grease” is having such a revival at the moment. Last week, Paramount Pictures re-released the flick as “Grease: The Sing-A-Long” in five cities in the U.S. Residents of other cities can go online and vote to get the movie in their area, too. And that’s not all. 505 Games is making “Grease: The Video Game,” which will be available for Wii and Ninetendo DS on August 24. As the press release reads, it’s “loaded with mini-games that let players sing the movie’s iconic songs, dance the hand jive hop, race down Thunder Road, fight for Sandy’s affections and have fun at the fair with Frenchy, Kenickie, Rizzo and the rest of the Greasers.” See a preview for the game after the jump.
So what do you think? Is “Grease” the one that you want, or does this news give you chills that are multiplying in a bad way? Keep reading »
No video game could be quite so depraved as “Bonetown,” the world’s first action-adventure porno video game. But a new game called “Privates” rachets up the shock factor. Tiny soldiers storm through the human body’s private parts, blasting STDs, sperm and poop and yelling nonsense like, “Oh hey, look, a massive vagina!” Keep reading »
Riddle me this: are the people who design video games all messed up and demented? A new video game called “Hey Baby” lets a female avatar run around with a gun, shooting men who sexually harass her with the usual obnoxious crap, like “You know you want it!” and “I love you!” When she shoots her harassers, headstones rise from the ground with his catcall in place of his name. Keep reading »
OK, makers of “Bonetown,” you win: we will draw more attention to your racist, sexist, morally depraved video game by writing about it.
“Bonetown” touts itself as “the world’s first action adventure porno video game,” but it’s more like thoughts from the internet’s most ignorant trolls set to animation. You know, the trolls who think racism and sexism have been “solved” so it’s really hilarious to perpetuate stereotypes about minorities and women. It’s unclear what the game part of “Bonetown” actually is, which is actually why it’s scary. Rather than a game, “Bonetown” appears to be more like SecondLife for players who delight in glorifying such ignorance as funny. Keep reading »
Major LOLZ at whoever decided it was a good plan to make The Bachelor: The Video Game
, which comes out in July. Not only can you learn to cook, work out, and go bowling with the Wii—now you can also date! More accurately, you can “experience the drama of dating” with handy avatars of past contestants and give your man a sexy back massage or “play competitive mini games” like swat the fly with the racket. God, I don’t even want to experience the drama of real-life
dating! Still, I do enjoy imagining teenage girls with their headsets, competing against each other for a rose from the Jason Mesnick
avatar, taking their tops off and slapping each other, while yelling, “the boy is mine!” and drinking Diet Rite with a straw. I guess it would be nice to date without risking the awkward groping, “Is he going to pay?” waiting game, and risk of subsequent after-he-paid STDs (kidding). But human interaction isn’t that
painful to make this game necessary. And it’s certainly not good training, unless “sabotage your opponents” is a necessary skill set in your dating pool. [NY Mag
] Keep reading »
While there are certain nerd-friendly items that are guaranteed turn-offs, here’s one that’s manufactured to do the exact opposite. The Massage Me controller is a vest that one partner wears, and the other uses as a video game controller, pressing into the massagee’s back like you would buttons to advance your game. This might be the perfect device to improve any relationship. Instead of yelling at him for being a video game-playing couch potato, you can now join in the fun, and even get a head start on your foreplay for when the ninth round of Donkey Kong finally comes around and he’s had enough.
The designers of the vest explain that for the optimal experience, “The best massages come from playing games that require the player to press a lot of buttons and combinations.” So you can bet that if he can master that, then he has to be skilled elsewhere. [Gizmodo] Keep reading »
An Open Letter To The Fellas: Women are not turned on by how fast you can finish Zelda or the fact that the plastic guitar you use to play Beatles Rock Band is customized. And when you ask us to blow into your Nintendo game cartridge, we know exactly what you’re thinking. I’ve dated a slew of video game nerds: guys who work at G4, guys who design video games for a living, guys who test video games for a living, guys who have video game tattoos, guys who are broke because they spent their money on an XBox, guys who’ve traded their XBox to get more video game tattoos. All of this gets old. So it’s not surprising that a British survey shows that one in five women have broken up with a guy because he wouldn’t put down the controller. Plus 80 percent of the women surveyed believe that their current partner wastes too much time gaming. Keep reading »
A Japanese man who goes by the online handle Sal9000 has married his anime character girlfriend, Nene Anegasaki. It’s all so romantic
. Nene is part of the Nintendo DS video game Love Plus, the wedding was held at the Tokyo Institute of Technology, and a real priest was on hand. The ceremony was broadcast live on the internet. I have no idea when, how, or if this marriage will be consummated. [Boing Boing
] Keep reading »