This photograph was taken at Tokyo Game Show 2009 at the exact moment that these two models realized you couldn’t pay them enough to: a.) put up with all these geeks, b.) smile for the camera, and c.) wear those godforsaken outfits. [9/23/09, Tokyo]

Yes, our pixelated heroes from Super Mario Bros have joined the grand and ill-conceived sex tape tradition, forged by Leighton Meester, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson. Only the audio on Mario and the princess’ vid is way better.

Come on, you know you want to know if that mustache tickles.

Girls have less leisure time to play digital games than boys, according to a Michigan State University study, the findings of which could shed light on the technology gender gap. The study of 276 undergraduates found that female students spent about 16 hours more per week doing homework, working, or performing other activities than male undergraduates. The findings suggest that girls play video games less because they have more obligatory tasks that take up their free time.

Most guy gamers have dreamed of getting with one of the scantily-clad female characters, whether it’s Princess Zelda, Chung Li, or Bloodrayne. Now their fantasies have been answered. The burlesque group Devil’s Playground performs a show featuring these characters and others doing “things ‘suggestive’ doesn’t begin to describe,” according to Gossip Gamers. To experience the show in person, you have to be L.A., but YouTube has videos. If only they had Cole from “Infamous”, Commander Shepard from “Mass Effect,” and Alex Mercer from “Prototype” in a male revue, the straight ladies and gay men would be set, too!

Fashion Week won’t roll around again until next September, but the people over at 505 Games are hard at work on a video game that simulates the experience for peasants like us who won’t be sitting front row inside those hallowed tents. With a little help from IMG and uber-famous makeup artist Pat McGrath, 505 will be putting out a video game for iPhone, Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony consoles that promises “a true insider’s point of view.”

Whoever said that gaming was a guy thing obviously never met the ten-year-old me. Forget Barbie—I was in love with my Nintendo, along with Paperboy, Tetris, and Super Mario 3. I was obsessed with video games, and constantly exasperated my mother by refusing to go to bed until I got through just one more level of Dr. Mario.

The best things in life are free.  Unfortunately, the porn industry is learning that lesson the hard way as sales go soft (zing!). Down 20-30%, Larry Flynt and Joe Francis have asked for a financial fluffer to help adult entertainment companies in their time of need.  But it’s not just magazines and DVDs that are feeling the squeeze; the Internet has been screwed up too!  Thanks to amateur porn on YouTube-like sites, porn that doesn’t require payment is easier to find than a swinger party. In a recession, that’s good news for broke consumers who are worried they’re going to lose their jobs, but what about the billion dollar adult industry? Can porn still make a buck in this tight economy?  If you ask an entrepreneur named Trixie, she’ll say, “F**k yes!”

Sure, we’ve seen other video games, like Grand Theft Auto, where players can sexually assault the female characters, but as offensive as that is, at least it’s not the objective of the game. But a Japanese video game called “RapeLay” has the sole purpose of allowing players to virtually rape women. The player stalks the female character in the subway station as she waits for the train—I’m already creeped out—and can virtually “pray” for a gust of wind to blow up her skirt and reveal her underwear. And that’s just the beginning.

Space, the final frontier, is getting a new voyager and some sperm that’s outta this world! Richard Garriott, the video game visionary behind Tabula Rasa, is going to be the sixth private citizen to be sent to outer space. How’d he get so lucky? Well, he’s started a program to collect, create, and carry digital DNA and snippets of human history as a time capsule to be stored at the International Space Station. The paranoid gamer is worried androids, the apocalypse, and natural disasters could make us all extinct. His fear has inspired him to create the project, called “Operation Immortality,” to ensure a future for humanity. So who’s genetic code is he cracking? So far, brilliant comedian and well-known narcissist, Stephen Colbert, has agreed to donate, but even the average Jane can offer up her stuff too!  All you have to do is play the free trial of Tabula Rasa and your name could get selected at random to become a sample.  But if DNA seems a bit too personal, you can simply send a message to the Universe by typing a note about the 21st Century here. Mr. Garriott will be collecting information until October when his shuttle launches. So, with a month to go, we’d like to recommend a few good peeps we think the future could use…

For some reason Microsoft conducted a survey in Canada about how people there play video games. They asked whether people play video games at work (30%), in the bedroom (27%), in public (19%), and in the bathroom (7%). They also asked whether those in the survey have ever played in the nude, and 17% of guys and 9% of women had. Nude gaming was especially popular in the 18 to 34 group. Joysticks must bring them joy. [Digital Home Canada]

Earlier we posted a poll about the hooker screwing and killing in Grand Theft Auto IV. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about this game, so I haven’t voted yet, and instead asked the guys on my IM why I shouldn’t be horribly offended by them having virtual sex for money with the woman to the left, and then blasting her in the head with a semi-automatic. Their compelling answers, after the jump.

Grand Theft Auto IV came out on Tuesday and made bajillions of dollars in sales. However, some people are up in arms because the video game allows you to have sex with prostitutes and then kill them afterwards. Boinkology has an excellent post up about the line between video game fantasy and real, live misogyny. But we want to know how you feel—does this video game in particular bother you? Video games have always featured violence, but is this one too over-the-top?

The Wii is the one video game system in my apartment that I can stand, because the games are basic enough for me to play and the sound effects don’t give me a headache. These cuff links are really cute and a fun little gift for the dude in your life that just can’t live without his videogames. [Cufflinks.com]
Previously: Crave (For Him): Look-A-Like Cuff Links

When you find a girl that loves her Nintendo DS as much as you, even a gamer knows not to play games—that is, unless you’re trying to propose. Bernie Peng knew the way to his woman’s heart was through her favorite video game, Bejeweled, so it seemed fitting that he recreate the game to flash his marriage proposal on screen. And she said yes! Aw, they go together like Yoshi and Birdo.  [Gimundo]