We have to wait until Dec. 1 to see the full insanity of the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but this teaser is totally making us want to tune in. Seriously, who can say no to a bevy of insanely hot girls (one of whom brought her puppy!), the unprecedentedly minimalistic wings, and fancy underwear? Cheesy though it is, the VS show is a pretty fun tradition at this point, and we love seeing a little of the prep work that goes into it. From tables of hair extensions to mounds of body glitter, it’s hilarious how much it takes to make these models look “natural!” Our favorite part though? Makeup artist Tom Pecheux talking about his ultimate show goal: “I want the girls to be like ‘wow, those bitches look fabulous!’” Well, congratulations, Tom—those bitches DO look fabulous.

Who says those Angels all look alike? The name of the game here is clearly D-I-V-E-R-S-I-T-Y. We knew we should’ve tried out for their model search contest!

Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosia walked in the VS fashion show four months after giving birth to her first child. And she looked the sort of good that inspires teenage boys everywhere to steal mommy’s catalog for, well, personal use. Given that most women complain endlessly about the difficulty of losing baby weight coupled with the fact that Ambrosia is clearly already genetically blessed, her claim that all she did was yoga once a week was a bit painful to hear.

Now that fancy British underwear brand Agent Provocateur is invading New York Fashion Week, we’re going to have to pick our allegiances: Is your loyalty to American mainstay Victoria’s Secret or Agent Provocateur, home to all things even vaguely kinky? Here are a few points to consider as you choose sides…

Victoria has two secrets. One for the sexy and sleek vixen who has come to embody the brand. And another for the sexy and comfy collegiate represented by the PINK line, which favors comfy sweats, hoodies and T-shirts over garter belts and corsets. Now HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) students are being let in on the PINK secret. Victoria’s Secret has added an HBCU collection, featuring Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University, Howard University, North Carolina A&T State University and Southern University, to its arsenal of college inspired apparel. This may seem like a frivolous exploit to some, but it might actually point to a more significant trend occurring in the United States.

Last month we asked if you thought Karolina Kurkova, the Victoria’s Secret model under fire for gaining weight, was fat. Kurkova wasn’t even included in pre-show materials for the 2008 Victoria’s Secret fashion show because it was a last minute decision to let her strut the runway. After snacking on pretty much nothing but veggies and “green juice,” she managed to lose enough weight to be included. “She really porked out,” a woman at the show was overheard whispering. “It’s good she dropped a little bit of weight, but really ... ”

In case you missed the “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” on CBS last night, the New York Post reports that at least one of the models was “fat.” Yes, fat. The Post was at the taping in Miami last month and knows for a “fact” that model Karolina Kurkova had put on the pounds, at least according to a woman at the show sitting next to reporter Raakhee Mirchandani. “‘She really porked out,’ the woman whispered. “‘It’s good she dropped a little bit of weight, but really ... ’” Just how did she drop that “little bit of weight”? Well, for starters, she cut out all carbs and wheat, drank a ton of “green juice,” and exercised three hours a day. Poor thing! All that work and still so ... “fat.” Life’s really unfair sometimes! At any rate, it’s too bad all that talk about the economy affecting beauty standards hasn’t had much impact on the fashion industry yet. If we’re going to live in a recession, we should at least have the benefit of big hips being in vogue. [NYPost]

Victoria’s got a secret.  Formaldehyde, the same stuff that preserves corpses, may be giving your boobs a lift, a rash, and even permanent scars. A few women are claiming they developed medical issues from wearing the “Angel’s Secret Embrace” and “Very Sexy Extreme Push Up” bras, and want Vicky to compensate them. Lead by Roberta Ritter, a 37-year-old woman who says she experienced itchy blisters from her bras, the group of women are filing a class action lawsuit against the undergarment company. Shockingly enough, even after collecting complaints from customers and the impending legal action, those particular styles of Victoria Secret bras are still on shelves! Is VS just trying to tempt more people to join the lawsuit? 

Oh no they didn’t! Karolina Kurkova, the Victoria’s Secret supermodel that Elle recently posted about in the forums, has been called fat by the Brazilian press. The smack talk started after a show in Sao Paulo, where Kurkova walked the runway with more meat on her bones than usual. And gasp, she has cellulite on her booty. Um, good for her! And for the record, we think she looks sexier than ever. [Fox News]

A woman in Los Angeles is suing Victoria’s Secret over a defective thong. Um, one could argue, they’re all defective, after all, we’re talking about paying for a permanent wedgie here.  But seriously, 52-year old Macrida Patterson is taking the lingerie line to court because she claims a “design problem” caused a metallic decoration on her “V-string” to come loose.  When she went to put the panties on, the ornament hit her in the eye causing damage to her cornea. Eye-yi-yi, there is just an ever growing number of reasons why we love coverage! [Smoking Gun and CNN]

In Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, lingerie stores that display their wares on mannequins make many people uncomfortable. “If I was passing by with my family and saw something displayed vulgarly on a mannequin, we would all find the situation awkward and embarrassing,” said one shopping mall manager. However, the store owners displaying lingerie in their windows don’t think they should stop showing people what they sell—how else will people know what they have inside? One 21-year-old woman even said she hates passing by lingerie stores because men often hang around them. The cultural differences between there and here are so interesting and apparent in regards to lingerie shopping. When I was in middle school, it was a huge rite of passage when you started shopping at Victoria’s Secret (and stopped getting embarrassed when your mother mentioned the word “bra”). [Arab News]

The night before Valentine’s Day this year, I received a frantic text message from my friend Sara, who I knew was on a mission to pick up something frilly to wear for her new boyfriend. “OMG, I’m in the store and I don’t even know what the eff a garter belt is. Help…” I flipped open my cell phone and left her a message that was one for the books: “Sara,” I said sternly, “if you don’t know what a garter belt is, he sure as hell won’t know how to take one off. Look for a babydoll top and cute underwear. Step AWAY from the garter belts.”

We didn’t know anything about bras until we got properly fitted. Before that, we had really only ever bought them from places like Kmart, Target, and Filene’s Basement, where no one cares whether you buy the wrong size. And even though we love the lacy bras we bought, we may have been onto something by going for cheap bras (at least for everyday wear). Consumer Reports tested three bras—La Perla Vintage ($127), Victoria’s Secret Ipex Demi ($45), and Gilligan & O’Malley Padded Demi ($11)—and found the $11 bra, available at Target, was the best buy. Not only does it have better cup molding than the Victoria’s Secret bra, but it didn’t pinch or poke and held up better in the wash. [Consumer Reports]

As much as we’d like to think we could replace Adriana Lima if she ever called in sick, we don’t all have the figure of a Victoria’s Secret model—some of us have bigger boobs. And just like clothing, certain lingerie styles fit certain body types better than others. Luckily, the guys at Debonair magazine put together a lingerie-buying guide, complete with pictures. (If you’re unsure what a woman with large breasts looks like, there is an example.) The guide is actually really useful for women—Victoria’s Secret can be a little intimidating when you don’t shop for fancy underthings as much as you shop for shoes. [Debonair Magazine]

Just because you’re the cutest celebrity couple of the moment does not mean you should pull a Marc Anthony and J.Lo and do a duet together in front of a nationwide audience at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Seal, you are in, Heidi you are out! [Red Lasso]