For Elle‘s October issue, the magazine’s subscribers will receive the above cover, which shows Victoria Beckham in complicated lingerie and missing her left arm. Perhaps her enormous Birkin bag got the best of it.

While taping an interview with David Beckham, Ellen decided to add some (posh) spice to her show by surprising him with this spoof of his hot Armani spread. The episode will air later this week, but until then, I will kill time by Photoshopping myself onto half-naked Becks’ pecks. Swoon! [Burbank, CA, 8/31/09]

Models Heidi Mount and Finbar McGuiness did their best Victoria Beckham impressions (while wearing clothing of her design) for the September issue of V. They definitely made us look twice. [V Magazine]

Once upon a time, Drew Barrymore was referred to as voluptuous, Posh Spice‘s bosom practically spilled out of her dress, and Lindsay Lohan suddenly had the biggest boobs in town. It seems like ages since any tabloid made a ruckus over yet another celeb getting breast implants, and, let’s face it, Hollywood has always had a thing for the well-endowed starlet. So, where have all the big breasts gone? Have huge chests gone out of style?

Sorry, kids. No more Beckham underwear porn for you. Victoria Beckham has decided against continuing the super steamy underwear campaign that she models with her husband for Armani. The reason? She says she wants to concentrate on her fashion career, as she’ll be presenting her line at NYC Fashion Week for the second time. However, could it be that she’s finally embracing her inner prude? Apparently, the Beckham children have asked some questions about their naked parents. Says David, “When they first saw them, they were like: ‘Daddy, why are you in your underwear so everyone can see?’”

That isn’t enough, though, to tear the soccer star away from the campaign—he’s keeping his contract. So, will Armani slate another sexy celeb couple to shoot the line? What Hollywood pair would measure up? Brad and Angie? Will and Jada? [Grazia, NowMagazine.co.uk]

• Over many seasons of “American Idol,” contestants and viewers alike became familiar with the sometimes incoherent ramblings of Paula Abdul. Now that she’s decided to leave the show, producers have come up with a creative solution on how to replace her. Contestants auditioning for the next season of “American Idol” will not only have to get over stage fright, but they’ll need to stop themselves from being starstruck. For the auditions, Paula will be replaced by a rotating cadre of actual celebrities, a new star in each of the seven cities. Yesterday, we found out Victoria Beckham would be one of the guest judges. Now Katy Perry is in. Producers are scrambling to find five more. [E! Online]

Even though she’s a mom, Victoria Beckham‘s taut and toned body in the new Armani ad released today is utterly devoid of wrinkles and jiggly bits. Gisele’s pregnant belly was flattened in the London Fog ads. Beth Ditto got fattened up on the cover of Love. Kim Kardashian appeared slimmed and lightened in Complex. Jeez Louise, the Photoshop-wielding warlocks should win big fat trophies for all their Great Moments In Airbrushing humdingers this year.

Or maybe airbrushed ads should get warning labels, says one British politician. Jo Swinson, a Liberal Democrat in the U.K., said that airbrushing should be banned on advertising intended for viewing by children younger than 16 and all other airbrushed images should carry labels that say what’s been altered.

It’s an absolutely brilliant idea. But unfortunately, it will never happen.

Cut-from-stone David Beckham will not be posing in his undies with anyone other than his wife, anytime soon. The soccer star denied reports that he would be posing with Angelina Jolie for new Emporio Armani ads. “She’s an amazing person and so is Brad. They’re an incredible couple—got an amazing family. You know she wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t do it. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t do it because I’m married,” Becks told “Extra.” In the past, Beckham has posed with his wife, Victoria for similar ads, but rejects rumors about doing the same with Jolie. Having just celebrated his 10th wedding anniversary with Vic and knowing Jolie’s husband-snatching past, Beckham has totally taken the right stance on this one. [Extra]

Posh Spice Victoria Beckham may or may not be in the upcoming Sex and the City sequel. Ohmygod. Intel on this rumor remains fairly vague, so we can’t tell you much beyond the whisperings that she’ll be playing a fashion industry figure if she does, indeed, make an appearance. But lest we leave you hanging entirely, let’s engage in some wild speculation as to what various roles she might play. Fun, right? [Elle UK]

Lebanese national Raffi Nernekian was arrested in Dubai for wearing a Marc Jacobs-designed T-shirt promoting skin cancer awareness with a nude photo of Victoria Beckham. Although all of Posh’s important lady parts were hidden by the “Protect the Skin You’re In” slogan, Nernekian reportedly got into an argument with a local over the shirt. After the argument he left to change his shirt, only to find the police waiting when he returned. He was jailed for a month for “offending public decency.”  Although Dubai is a tourist destination even for folks like Paris Hilton (who has recently been searching for a new BFF there), visitors are advised to review the country’s moral and social code before partying it up—or getting dressed. [NY Daily News]

Two Beckhams in one ad, of course! Victoria and David Beckham stripped down and got all glistening for these new Armani underwear ads. Click through for the other shot. [via The Cut]

• Kelis claims estranged husband Nas has left her without support or money for pre-natal expenses, even though he’s filthy rich. [TMZ]—Hmm, maybe she should have considered the type of person he is before filing for divorce while pregnant.
• Carnie Wilson and husband Rob Bonfiglio welcomed a new baby girl last Friday. [Dlisted]—Isn’t it interesting that when she was in Wilson Phillips, the label tried to “hide” Carnie behind the skinny group members, and since then she has been more popular than them?
• Alec Baldwin says he was suicidal over the angry voicemail he left for his daughter, which was made public by ex-wife Kim Basinger. [People]—When will people realize they shouldn’t record things they don’t want others to hear or watch?

Victoria’s downgraded from the ginormous bag she carried last week. [Los Angeles, 5/18/09]