Last week, I wrote about Caleb Reynolds’, a houseguest on “Big Brother 16,” and his unrequited romantic obsession with fellow player Amber Borzotra. While the television show has gone out of their way not to draw attention to Caleb’s out of whack fixation on Amber, those fans who subscribe to the 24/7 livefeeds are privy to how this is impacting his game, her game and the entire house. While Amber certainly has many, many supporters who see that she’s done everything she can to reject his clearly advances, there are others who have called Amber a tease. In response, Amber’s brother-in-law — one of the family members manning Amber’s Twitter feed and website while she’s in the “Big Brother” house — posted an articulate and smart response on Amber’s blog that defends Amber, but more importantly calls out a culture of victim-blaming that extends well beyond this reality TV show. With his permission, I’m republishing his piece below. Whether you’re a “Big Brother” fan or not, it’s well worth a read. — Amelia
Before I begin, just to be clear, this post isn’t about Caleb, the “Big Brother” game, or even about any concerns we may or may not have for Amber’s well-being. This is solely about the way the narrative is being portrayed by some observers: people who are not subject to the pressures/paranoia of the house and have the ability to know just about everything that is said and done before forming an opinion.
Specifically, there has been a worrying rise in “BB16″ live feed followers blaming Amber for somehow playing a part in encouraging Caleb’s unrequited feelings for her. Keep reading »
Just a day after columnist George Will wrote about the “privileges” rape victims receive, The Washington Post has seemingly doubled down on the victim-blaming with an article in their (crowd-sourced but still edited) Post Everything section which says women would be safer from domestic violence if they got “hitched to their baby daddies.” Above, the original headline on the bullshit data-filled article written by two conservative (and male) university professors, which has since been altered to be sliiiiightly less loathsome (gone is the racially-charged phrase “baby daddies”). See, the “data” shows that by being around less men, women are less likely to encounter one who will hurt them (and their children), or something. And bonus! According to the two dipshits behind this awful piece, ”marriage also seems to cause men to behave better” so, you know, they’re less likely to beat their wives. I. CANNOT. WITH. THIS. [The Washington Post via Gawker]
Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto is pretty much that douchey frat boy who you never invite to a party, but somehow ends up there anyway , and you wish he would just go somewhere far, far away so you never had to think about all the obnoxious things he’s said. Remember him? He called the military’s effort to eradicate sexual assault a “war on male sexuality.” He’s tweeted that he hoped the young women whose boyfriends died saving them during the Aurora, Colorado, shooting were “worthy of the sacrifice.” So it should come as no surprise to you that he is blaming rape victims for drinking. Keep reading »
Yesterday, we told you about the “Roast Busters,” a disgusting sort of “club” in New Zealand where the members are privileged teen boys who lure teenage girls with alcohol, get them drunk, gang rape them and then brag about the rapes on the internet. While there is plenty of the latter on the internet to build a case file against the, New Zealand police have argued they just can’t pursue charges against them until one of their victims comes forward.
Except, it turns out, a victim has gone to the police. Two, in fact. Two 13-year-old girls filed complaints against the Roast Busters with the police two years ago, in 2011. One of the girls, who said she was raped by three of the Roast Busters, told NZ’s 3 News that she was so ashamed and scared that it took her weeks to tell anyone, and when she finally went to police, this is what went down: Keep reading »
Men will rape us no matter, apparently! So if won’t don’t want to get sexually assaulted, us ladies have to “give up over drinking [sic].”
This is according to a facepalm-y new column in Southern Methodist University The Daily Campus newspaper by someone named Kirby Wiley. ”In order to prevent future victims, viewers need to know the other side of things,” Wiley writes. The other side of things, in case you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, is that drunk women are deserving of some of the blame here.
Oh hell to the no.
Keep reading »
Police in Charleston, South Carolina, were right to warn students on Tuesday after two sexual assaults were reported near the campus.
But were they right to include in the warning the fact that the victims had both been drinking and to include statistics about alcohol and sexual assault? Keep reading »
Last week, a video which showed a young man giving oral sex to a young woman in public in Athens, Ohio, went viral. Shortly thereafter, the unidentified woman reported that the video — shot on October 12 — actually depicted not a consensual sex act, but a sexual assault. This week, a men’s rights website called Crimes Against Fathers decided to publish the name, address and phone number of the woman they believe is in the video, branding her a liar and “an evil woman,” saying she was lying about being raped. Revealing the identity of an alleged rape victim is terrible enough — but the Ohio University student Crimes Against Fathers has identified as being in the video, Rachel Cassidy (above), says it’s not her in the video and that she’s the target of a witch hunt.
Peter Nolan, the man behind Crimes Against Fathers, told The New York Daily News in an email, “I believe that it is VERY likely Rachel Cassidy is the woman in the now viral video. … There are a great deal of similarity in looks between the woman in the video/photos and Rachel Cassidy.” In his post identifying Cassidy as the woman in the video — a connection made initially by members of 4Chan — Nolan says it’s “very clear” that the sex act in the viral video “was fully VOLUNTARY.” Aside from a physical resemblance, Nolan, who lives in Germany, offers no further proof that the woman is actually Cassidy. Keep reading »
“There’s no denying that from the surface it appears to be some sort of cover-up. But when you look at the finer details, there are telltale signs of this girl actually lying. She is leaving her home at 1 a.m. in the morning and nobody forced her to drink. And what happens? She gets caught by her mom, she’s embarrassed and the easy way out here is, ‘Mom, someone took advantage of me.’ But what did she expect to happen at 1 a.m. in the morning after sneaking out? I’m not saying — assuming that these facts are accurate and this did happen — I’m not saying she deserved to be raped, but knowing the facts as we do here including what the prosecutor has set forth, this case is going nowhere and it’s going nowhere quick.”
This is Fox News (of course) guest Joseph DiBenedetto, an attorney, sharing his totally reasonable opinion that the Maryville rape victim Daisy Coleman — and presumably her friend Paige Pankhurst, too — are going on national news shows like CNN and Al-Jazeera claiming they were “raped” because they don’t want to get grounded for drinking and sneaking out one night. That’s the same thing that I used to do when I got caught sneaking out! Cry rape and do interviews with Erin Burnett! Lying outside on the front lawn overnight in the January freeze for added effect? Good one, Daisy. You sure pulled the wool over my eyes. Injuring herself around the genitalia was another pro move for authenticity.
SIGH. [Raw Story]
Slate.com’s modus operandi is to troll the hell out of everyone. Today’s piece by Dear Prudence author Emily Yoffe, “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk,” is a classic example.
In her piece, Yoffe recounts a statistic from a 2009 study that 80 percent of campus sexual assaults involve alcohol. She then gives what she thinks is sound personal safety advice for “young and naive women,” but it’s actually a slippery slope to victim blaming:
Perpetrators are the ones responsible for committing their crimes, and they should be brought to justice. But we are failing to let women know that when they render themselves defenseless, terrible things can be done to them. Young women are getting a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue. The real feminist message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will attract the kinds of people who, shall we say, don’t have your best interest at heart. That’s not blaming the victim; that’s trying to prevent more victims.
Keep reading »
Paige Parkhurst, the second victim in the Maryville, Missouri rape case, has come forward to speak with Al-Jazeera about the night she and Daisy Coleman were sexually assaulted.
Paige was 13 at the time and sleeping over at the house of her then-14-year-old friend Daisy. The girls were drinking alcohol together and snuck out of the house to go hang out with some older boys. There, Paige was raped by a 15-year-old boy, whose identity is kept anonymous because his case was handled in juvenile court. Daisy was given more alcohol at the party, which is the last part she remembers, and raped by football player Matthew Barnett, a senior and student athlete. Another boy at the party, Jordan Zech, filmed Daisy’s rape on an iPhone. After the rapes, the boys dropped the two girls, who were both drunk, off at the Coleman house. Paige was able to make it inside the house, but Daisy was left alone on the front lawn overnight in the January freeze. She was found the next morning by her mother after spending several hours outside and immediately taken to a hospital. You can read the full, terrible story as reported this weekend by the Kansas City Star. Keep reading »