Valentine’s Day Don’ts For Daring Women
Do not use indelible Magic Markers to write lewd things on your body. They don’t wash off. Use something aloe based instead.
Do not answer the door dressed only in Saran Wrap. The leech across the hall has a hidden camera trained on your door with YouTube written all over it.
Do not insist he drop his Fruit of the Looms and model the thong you got him. He could get hurt.
Do not confiscate the mic from the lounge singer to do raunchy lyrics to “My Horny Valentine.”
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