We have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day ourselves. We are probably going to force the cat to snuggle with us and watch all the “Chelsea Lately” episodes in the TiVo queue over Mexican takeout. But some women, somewhere, haven’t given up yet. Some women, somewhere, are dry cleaning their red dress, getting their nails done, and picking… More »
Ah, here we go. A video that will satisfy the brokenhearted this V-Day. Literally, it’s a video of the top ten ways to break a heart with super special slow mo effects. If you revenge is what you’re seeking this Valentine’s Day, live vicariously through this video and suppress any urges you might have to… More »
Oh, Valentine’s Day. It’s like, as a woman, you’re required to have some sort of feeling about it. Wait, a feeling? But we have so many! Here are a but a few… … More »
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. We gather you knew this based on the high volume of Zales commercials. So, here’s the deal. The internet is gonna try to convince you that you will have the most mind-blowing sex of your life of February 14th. It will sell you the dream. It will encourage you to… More »
No boyfriend? No problem. All you really need to celebrate this tres romantic Hallmark holiday is a feline friend or two. Just ask this gentleman, who spends much of his free time serenading his cat with Seal’s classic love song “Kiss From A Rose.” No shame in that, guy! If all else fails, and your… More »
Whoever has no house will not build one anymore/ Whoever is alone now will remain so for a long time. This somber verse is not mine. It was written by the great Rainer Maria Rilke. I am just appropriating them for those who are single this Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a date, you… More »
We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.
We also know that’s not actually going to happen.
But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But… More »
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, right? Romance and pink things and flowers, too. It’s supposed to be about couples, but I want to selfishly celebrate by acknowledging a woman who made me love myself a little bit more. So often, I think we’re trying to make ourselves appealing and acceptable to other… More »
You might have a lot of loves in a lifetime, but you never forget your first … stock image boyfriend. A stock image boyfriend, tasked with illustrating a variety of concepts including “I love canned foods,” or “I don’t understand your modern technology because I’m a caveman,” or “banana gun,” can be a wonderful companion. More »
You are the hottest yoga teacher I’ve ever had. And that’s saying a lot because I’ve been practicing for 16 years now. Your body, your face, your demeanor … all extremely HOT. But here’s the weird thing: I am not physically attracted to you in the least. Not at all. I… More »
As the kind of girl who leaves red lipstick stains on everything, everywhere, I have scared off more than a few men (and probably small children) in my day. There’s nothing more alarming to a guy than a slick red mouth that pretty much guarantees it’s going to end up all over you. Any other… More »
A couple weeks ago, I bought a bright red lacy bra without giving it too much thought–it fit me and it was on sale, so why not? But I soon found out my impulse purchase comes with some delightful side effects: I feel like a total bombshell whenever I wear it, no matter what clothing… More »
So, you’ve worked your way through all 64 of the Kama Sutra’s pleasure postures, even the ones that seem impossible to pull off like the Pair Of Tongs or the Head Spinner. Seriously, how did you do that without hurting yourself? We’re impressed. But now, you’ve reached a sexual crossroads. What do you do to… More »
Technically speaking, I was a late bloomer. I didn’t go out on a date until I was in college and I didn’t have my first real boyfriend until I was 23. But from the time I was, oh, eight years old, my fictional romantic life flourished. In my mind, I cultivated rich, deep and emotionally… More »
If your love life is looking staler than that three day-old French bread you’re saving for a fondue party, you’re in luck. Your Valentine’s Day prayers just might be answered. I don’t know about you, but when I’m stuck in a rut (to quote The Darkness), I like to shake it up. That’s why I… More »
Whether your Valentine’s Day plans include cooking dinner for your lover or hosting a dinner party for your single friends, who can resist a menu full of heart-shaped munchies? We found 11 adorable heart-shaped foods–both sweet and savory–to help you celebrate V-Day in style. Click on the gallery to check ‘em out! … More »
I refuse to be one of those people spewing bitterness about Valentine’s Day. As a single person, no, it’s not my favorite holiday. But it wasn’t my favorite holiday when I was coupled either. Aside from the pricey prix fixe dinner menus, the reason being, Valentine’s Day is limiting. This concept of “romantic love,” that… More »
Valentine’s Day is the perfect holiday for a gal to test out some sexy lingerie. There are so many different styles to choose from. Will you choose to go demure or vampy or vagina-less? In our search, we found an epidemic that seems to be plaguing lingerie models. Their vaginas have gone missing! (The nipples… More »
Dear Anonymous Starbucks Baristas,
I never thought that making Starbucks beverages was that complicated. Starbucks is basically fast food. And I say this as someone who drinks at least one Starbucks beverage every single day of my life.
But apparently there is a lot that baristas think the unwashed masses don’t… More »
An eighth grade teacher found this love note on the floor of her classroom. Awww. See, it is possible to be madly in love but still understand that fried chicken will always be more important than your partner. These kids really get it. Someone send them a bucket of KFC for Valentine’s Day. [Buzzfeed] … More »