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Ditch The Whip Cream Bikini & Other Valentine’s Day Don’ts

Valentine’s Day Don’ts For Daring Women

  • Do not use indelible Magic Markers to write lewd things on your body. They don’t wash off. Use something aloe based instead.
  • Do not answer the door dressed only in Saran Wrap. The leech across the hall has a hidden camera trained on your door with YouTube written all over it.
  • Do not insist he drop his Fruit of the Looms and model the thong you got him. He could get hurt.
  • Do not confiscate the mic from the lounge singer to do raunchy lyrics to “My Horny Valentine.”
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