Lady parts can sometimes be way complicated. I mean, doesn’t your vagina sometimes overheat? It’s not like your body naturally regulates its temperature or anything. But thankfully, Jockey has created cooling underwear, which soothes your burning firecrotch with state-of-the-art technology from NASA!. Says the company, “The Outlast® temperature regulating technology behind Jockey® staycool underwear helps your skin feel up to 3° cooler.” And we’re sure it really works. After all, it was initially developed by NASA scientists to “help balance temperature fluctuations in space.” Space! (Your vagina is just like space.)
Tag Archives: vaginas
- 54 bags of heroin
- 31 empty heroin bags
- 8 prescription pills
- $51.22 in cash and change
Twenty-seven-year-old Pennsylannia woman, Karin Mackaliunas, was arrested for suspected burglary and reckless driving. After a routine strip search, authorities discovered all of the items listed above stored in her vagina. Now that’s a vagina! Why bother with a purse when you can carry everything you need between your legs? [NY Mag] Keep reading »
Hey, do you know what your vagina is thinking right now? Maybe it’s: “I’d really enjoy a steam bath.” If your vagina isn’t saying, but you are intrigued, you may want to jump on the latest vagina trend since the vagina facial and vajazzling: chai-yok. The practice is Korean in origin, although it’s hot now in Los Angeles. Basically, you squat over a steaming pot of mugwort, wormwood, and various herbs. The result? Lessened stress, possible increased fertility, and regulated menstrual cycles. Various forms of taking your vagina to the spa can cost you from $20 to $75. Isn’t your vagina worth it? [L.A. Times] Keep reading »
I first heard the word “labiaplasty” three years ago. Immediately, my interest was piqued. My unruly butterfly wings — otherwise known as my labia — interfered with my sexual activities. Riding a bike for more than 15 minutes? Painful. Camel toe? Obvious. Intercourse? Lube did little to relieve all that smooshing, pulling, stretching, especially when condoms were involved.
And then there were the unsolicited anatomical editorials that I’d received over the years, ranging from the respectfully observant, “You’re very floral,” to the horrifying, “Damn, girl. You got a fat p***y!,” to the complimentary, “Actually, I like it full and lippy … That’s my thing.” Keep reading »
If you thought #3 on yesterday’s list of “Signs You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hoochie Mama” made you cringe, wait till you hear the name of this new line of blankets: Vagisoft. Shudder. And I’m not shuddering because it’s cold and I need a blanket. I mean Vagisoft sounds like the kinda thing you hide in your medicine cabinet, not sell as being softer than a “freshly laundered bunny.” And, honestly, who would launder a bunny?! The same peeps who make a blanket like a vagina, apparently. Creeps. [WOW Report] Keep reading »
OK, I didn’t get a vagina facial — or “vagacial” — or “Peach Smoothie,” as it’s called — but Alex Kuczynski’s personal story for Harper’s Bazaar of getting one was so freakin’ intimate that I feel like I got one by proxy. What the hell is a vagacial, you ask? It’s a facial. Except it’s on your vagina. Like, if someone was going to see your vagina, and you wanted it to look fresh and new, you could get a Peach Smoothie. Yes, there is one more beauty regime you must now worry about not having done yet. Don’t worry. Your vagina can wait. Keep reading »
Now, I am aware that “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is not exactly high-brow television. I mean, you’re never going to see two of the family members debate the symbolism in James Joyce’s Ulysses. But still, I’m sometimes shocked by how low the series sinks sometimes. We’ve seen Kourtney give Khloe an at-home bikini wax. But on the latest episode, Kim accompanies Khloe to a pro for laser hair removal. Sample dialogue: “You have a better, like, looking vagina than I thought.” [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Thought vajazzling had finally drifted into obscurity and you’d never hear another word about the gemstone vagina art? (Sorry.) Now vajazzling fans can do an easy DIY version with this Butterfly Merkin, which allows you to apply Swarovski crystals to your nether regions with an adhesive peel. Sold at Coco de Mer, here’s an excerpt from the product description: “Your p**sy will purr when you put on this beautiful diamante butterfly.” Cringe. [Coco de Mer] Keep reading »
I hear cosmetic surgery advertisements all the time on the radio: breast enhancements, tummy tucks, liposuction, and vaginal rejuvenation.
Okay, the first three are obvious. But that fourth one? Vaginal rejuvenation? Does my vagina need to be made young again? I didn’t know it was old.
Actually, vaginal rejuvenation surgery is supposed to counteract the stretching effect that giving birth has on your vagina. The more children you give birth to, the more stretched out it gets. And it never returns to its original size. Read more … Keep reading »