Dear Huang Jianjun,
I know you take your ghostbusting extremely seriously. Killing ghosts has been your passion since you saw “Ghostbusters” in the ’80s. I’ve always wanted to be supportive of you and your dreams, so I refrained from telling you that I thought your idea to start a ghostbusting business was absurd. What can I say? I was tired of you sitting around all day watching watching succubus porn and drinking Mountain Dew, so I lied and told you to start your business. I wanted that imprint of your ass off my couch. I realize now that was a mistake. You used your business as an excuse to have sex with an unsuspecting woman. And here I was believing that we never had sex anymore because you weren’t “attracted to sentient beings.” Ha! What a fool I was. I suppose you were lying about not being able to get it up because of your diabetes too. Keep reading »
Another day, another ridiculous accessory for your vagina. The Va J-J Visor is a “vaginal shield designed to help protect a woman’s inner vulva area” during “Brazilian and bikini waxing, depilatories and shaving, hair coloring, tanning or spa treatments. It can also be used as a hygienic shield while trying on swimwear or intimate apparel, and during body piercings and tattooing,” says the website. So, let’s break this down because I have a few thoughts about vagina hats and why nobody needs one. Keep reading »
Non-theater geeks, gather ’round ye all and let me school you in the art of radical street theater. Really, there’s not much schooling to be done; the former actor in me wanted to write a pretentious sentence. But…street theater! It’s when performers take their acting to the street and engage real, unsuspecting onlookers as their audience. This is what members of the Nomadic Academy of Fools, a UK theater troupe, were doing when they hit Glastonbury High Street in a penis and vagina costume respectively to promote their forthcoming play.
“We’re trying to highlight the contradiction in society,” said Joanne Tremarco, the woman dressed as a vagina.
Um, obviously. I got it right away.But some non-theater loving fool, did not understand the message. He took offense to the walking, talking genitals and began to attack Chris Murray, the man dressed as a penis. Keep reading »
This piece originally appeared on Role/Reboot. Republished here with permission.
Warning: Some parts of this article, and individual hyperlinks, are explicit, and may be considered NSFW.
There’s a lot of pressure to have a good vagina. Rapper Missy Elliott’s mysterious “Pussycat” is a ballad from a woman to her genitals. She pleads that they not “fail her now” so her lover won’t cheat on her. Then she disguises her voice through a creepy filter and raps as her lover, backhandedly affirming that he’s “glad [hers] ain’t that gushy stuff.” Ten years later, I’m still not sure if the song is parody or commentary. It reminds us that in a culture that reduces women to our appearances, we can feel like not much more than walking vaginas. And if you flip and reverse that argument, when we sexualize women, we see women’s genitals existing to perform for a partner’s pleasure. Where every part of a woman’s body is taxonomized, judged, and sentenced, it’s no surprise that we treat our vulvas with fear and disgust.
I know a few extra things about how women regard their genitals. While creating my documentary,Subjectified, I had intimate conversations about sex with women across the United States. In the jarring words of a funny, self-confident, conventionally gorgeous 23-year-old, “I don’t think I have the prettiest genitals…I remember like three years ago I put a mirror down there, and that was the first time I saw up-front what was going on…I was totally horrified for a whole week.” Another woman described how her genitals were seriously injured in childbirth, requiring reconstructive surgery that she couldn’t afford. She felt stuck in a dysfunctional relationship because she was ashamed to show her body to anyone else. Our feelings about our genitals reverberate through our lives, and we project a life’s worth of insecurities onto our private parts. Keep reading »
I’ve read a lot of letters asking for advice. Some of them are weird, like the woman who asked Slate’s Dear Prudence if she should date the guy who sniffed her sweaty bicycle seat at the gym. I vote for NO. Some of them are soul-stirring. Check out Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice On Love And Life from Dear Sugar if you haven’t already. I cried my way through it. Sometimes I agree with the advice and sometimes I don’t. That’s to be expected. But I think I stumbled upon what might be the saddest advice exchange ever. A woman whose boyfriend finds her vagina “repulsive” wrote in to the Guardian:
“My boyfriend of three years has never actively looked at my vagina or shown the slightest interest in it other than the usual foreplay. He performs oral sex occasionally but always under the darkness of the duvet and has admitted he doesn’t find vaginas particularly attractive, joking that mine is especially repulsive…”
Three years!? This poor woman. I’m no professional, but I feel like I know exactly what she should do: DUMP HIM RIGHT NOW. I mean, is there any other option? No one deserves to be with someone who finds their genitals repulsive. After the jump, check out the AWFUL advice this woman was given. Keep reading »