It was only a matter of time before authorities found Kenneth Herold’s missing Rolex … in his masseuse’s vagina. Lady parts were not designed to be used as storage lockers, yet that hasn’t stopped countless women from stashing valuables in their front hole. Christina Lafave was one of those women. Keep reading »
Women have been faking orgasms since the beginning of time, the reasoning usually being that it’s just easier to pretend you’ve come when you know a real one is not going to happen. It gives the dude you’re getting down with unspoken permission to finish up himself, without having to say, mid-coitus, “Hey, you know, an orgasm just isn’t in the cards for me today, but you should go ahead and have yours!” (Generally, I encourage people to not mislead their sexual partners and would like to see women be more open about what gets them off so they don’t feel inclined to fake — however, there are just some sexual relationships you don’t want to go that deep with. Whatever. Do you, girl.) But one thing I hadn’t considered, even as an occasional faker myself, is that women might actually get off, in some way, by faking it. Well, a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Archives found that some women fake orgasms for their own pleasure, and upon thinking about it, I realized that I totally relate. Keep reading »
“For me, the vagina is such an integral part of the body…We think the vagina is on the outside. I say grab a mirror and play along. Get in there…You’re supposed to treat it like the beautiful flower that is, the delicate flower that it is. And you’re supposed to nurture it in all the ways that it needs nurturing…[You should be] watering it. Fertilizing it. It needs nourishment. It’s hungry.”
Cameron Diaz shares more tips from The Body Book on “Chelsea Lately.” At least she’s not going on about her love of pubes anymore. But the “delicate flower” metaphor is a little twee for me. Vaginas need showers and sex, not water and fertilizer. It’s nice that she’s written a handy guide to understanding the female body, but I’m wondering who’s reading this and having, like, major revelations about her vagina? [ONTD]
You might not have noticed, but trees can be seriously sexy. Especially after inclement weather has its way with them. Who can say how this human-like branch person ended up humping a trunk, all we can do is marvel at the power and majesty of Mother Nature, pervert that she is. Click through to see some more trees caught in very compromising positions.
In what may be the best police report of all time, Pennsylvania State Police Trooper Brad Jordan attempted to describe an incident which transpired on an Armstrong County Township school bus. His exceptionally penned report read:
“Both the victim and the accused were riding school bus. The accused expelled wind from the vulva during coitus while at the back of the bus. The victim began to laugh and chuckled at the accused for her actions. The accused approached the victim and elbowed him in the testicles. Accused was cited for harassment.”
Let me translate for you: An unidentified 18-year-old girl was having sex (hopefully with a boy of legal age) in the back of the school bus, when she queefed very loudly. A 13-year-old goon riding the bus started giggling at the queef (can you blame him?) and the the girl elbowed him in the balls.
The tragic part: She’s 18 and still has to ride the bus. The even more tragic part: She will forever be known as the school bus queefer. [Liberty Unyielding]