Call me a bad feminist, but I have no desire to see what my cervix looks like. I will take Amelia and her gynecologist’s word for it that my womanhood is a beautiful, flowering rose. So, too, am I uninterested in the Skavkom Gaga Intimate Camera, an endoscopic vibrator that films the inside of your vagina so you can watch it on your computer via a USB port. As put by this NSFW gay porn site, “The innovative design of endoscope allows you to inspect women’s bodies as if you were a gynecologist. The hidden searchlight enables you to explore the most secret place of a woman’s body.”
I’m not entirely sure that this isn’t completely fake, because 1) WHY? and 2) the English in this video was translated by drunk and high Balki Bartokomous. This is a “sex toy” for sick fucks who get off on pretending to be gynecologists and use phrases like “the most secret place of a woman’s body” to describe the vag. Ick ick ick. NOPE. [Huffington Post]
Vaginas are not meant to be storage units. They are not meant to be purses. They are not meant to be secret hiding places. You are not supposed to put unsterilized foreign objects in them. Most of us understand these rules. But apparently Jennifer Renee Crosby of Wabasso, Florida (OBVIOUSLY), did not get the memo. Crosby was arrested for possession of crack cocaine which she had hidden inside her, you guessed it, vagina. Crosby was a passenger in a vehicle that pulled over during a routine traffic stop and when the police officers discovered the driver did not have a license, both were asked to get out of the vehicle. Crosby was visibly shaking, which alerted the cops to suspect something was amiss, and sure enough, Crosby spilled the beans.
“I have drugs inside my vagina,” she confessed. They asked her to remove the drugs, which apparently caused Crosby some discomfort. “Ouch,” she said, removing a foil-wrapped packet of crack cocaine worth $100. “The foil is hurting the inside of my vagina.” I suppose if you’re going to shove crack in your vag, it’s wise to wrap it in something, but now we all know foil is not ideal. [The Smoking Gun]
Crosby is not alone. Some women cannot be stopped from violating the terms and conditions of their vaginas. If you dare, click through to see the weirdest things women have stashed in their kitties, the poor things.
From the time I learned what fingering was at age 11, it sounded not that great to me, and that didn’t really change for about 15 years.
Even the idea of fingering (or “fingerbanging,” yikes) sounded bad. It almost didn’t occur to me that fingering would be something I would actually want. I’d even tried it myself but it was just left me bored and with a cramp in my hand. Certainly it did not stand up to the newly discovered pleasures of the shower head. But it was still something I expected to happen to me at some point, a natural progression like moonrise following sunset or whatever. Keep reading »
I never would have guessed that combing through stock photography would be such an exciting and enlightening part of my job, but everyday I encounter at least one photograph that teaches me something new about life, love and even my own body. Oh yeah, stock photography is full of wisdom about the vagina — crazy shit your gynecologist probably never told you. For example… [Photos: Shutterstock]
I’ve looked at my own vagina a few times, but two instances in particular are memorable. The first time I got a completely bare wax, I had barely recovered from the final strip being ripped from my labia when the waxer stuck a hand mirror between my legs and was like, “Good?” It was the first time I was seeing the thing unencumbered by any hair whatsoever and it happened rather unexpectedly, so my reaction was one of mild shock and awe. Oh hello there. You look different naked. The second memorable moment of eye contact between me and my vagina was during a visit to my gynecologist, when my doc asked if I wanted to see my cervix. This encounter was fascinating because “HELLLLOOOOOOO DOWN THEEREEEEE!” but also disturbing because “WOW, that thing is gonna have to expand a whole lot more to push a baby head out someday. WTF.” Keep reading »
According to NYMag.com’s exploration of what’s hot in hair down there, the latest pubic hairstyle trending for Brooklyn-ite Hippie girls “with porny sex lives, who need to be hairless for licking,” is the “full-bush Brazilian.” You’re probably wondering what the hell that is, because it sounds like an oxymoron. Brazilian bikini wax = hairless, full bush = lots of hair, so, the math seems off.
The full-bush Brazilian is defined as a wax job which includes “removing the hair from the labia and butt crack (in accordance with Brazilian-waxing tradition) while leaving everything on top fully grown.” A “pubic reverse mullet”: party up top, business at the bottom. The vaginal version of “having it all.” The “normcore of pubes.” Keep reading »