I went to the gyno Saturday and was surprised when the nurse practitioner asked me what I use to wash the goodies. I told her Summer’s Eve Sensitive Wash. She told me she doesn’t trust products like Summer’s Eve, Massengill, or Lamisil because these companies also make douches, which we all know are unhealthy. She suggested regular old Dove soap and a hand—washcloths can hold bacteria—as the best method for cleaning the lady parts. She also cautioned against allowing any water into the vagina, saying to only clean the outside. Now, I’m a little cheap in weird ways, so I’m not switching to Dove until my wash runs out, which it almost has. What do you think about the nurse’s advice? And what do you use to stay fresh and clean?

Over at GuySpeak.com, our very own Mind Of Man, John DeVore, offers up the hilarious “25 Approved Nicknames for My Genital Organs.” On the list? Hercules Meatquake, Whoa’s Ark, King of Wangistan, and Seven and a Half Inches of Fury. That begs the question: What vagina nicknames have The Frisky ladies’ seal of approval? Check out 25 approved nicknames for our genital organs.

The Green Halloween Bazaar features works by artists and designers to encourage less consumption. Not sure a vagina costume is what they had in mind, but judging from yesterday’s graphic necklace, it’s right on trend! Just tell the kids it’s a hairy taco? [CyanaTrendLand.com]

VulvaLoveLovely is an Etsy retailer which sells custom-made vaginal portrait jewelry. Simply send a photo of your vag and the artist will make a lifelike replica of it, dangling from a chain! The point is to encourage women to celebrate their vulvas and stuff, which is nice, but VulvaLoveLovely isn’t satisfied with just a photo—they want your vaginal feelings too. “Send me a convo describing your vagina: the shape of your inner and outer labia, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded, or can you see it fairly easily?” Um, yeah, I’m with Regretsy on this one:

“You know, it’s unnerving enough that there’s someone out there, painstakingly making polymer replicas of your cooter ... [but] if I’m going to spend that much time online talking to a stranger about my p**sy, I better be playing with myself.”

When male journalists go deep, they go to Iraq. When female journalists go deep, they put a “vagina mint” in their hoo-ha. Since we here at The Frisky are ahead of the curve on all things vagina-related, we told you about Linger vagina mints way back in August. They’re like Altoids for your vagina. We didn’t try the product ourselves, because our cooters are fresh like that, but we did ask some dudes what they thought of the idea. Mostly, their responses were, like, “Ew, gross.” Over at Mother Jones, writer Jen Phillips got herself a tin of vagina Altoids and almost took the product for a test-drive. Then she read the box, which says they’re “for novelty use only.” So, wary of a yeast infection, she decided not to Linger. That’s gonzo journalism for you? [Mother Jones]

Oh Asylum, how happy are we that you’ve discovered our need to have praise bestowed upon our sacred lady flowers! So happy that we were inspired to compliment your wangs! Although your vajayjay compliment primer is certainly a valiant effort, now might be a good time to tell you that a comment like “Your vagina is so much hotter than my last girlfriend’s vagina” may just leave us closed for business. More important than what you say is what you must vow not to say in order to keep the peace down south. After the jump, 10 things that you should never say to our vaginas—at least if you want to see them again.

In July, we learned about the woman with the world’s strongest vagina. Tatiana Kozhevnikova spent 15 years strengthening her lady parts with custom-made glass balls and worked her way up to lifting 31 lbs.

The practice of strengthening your hoo-ha by putting a ball up there isn’t new, though it’s not something we hear much about these days. Apparently, these exercises go back to ancient China, when the queen and concubines were taught how to do them in the Royal Palace so they would please the king while making love.

You know how sometimes the leather of your handbag feels so soft that you find yourself stroking it? Well, this handbag not only feels soft, but it will help you practice your masturbation technique—in case you still need help with that. [Fail Blog, 8/6/09]

I’m sure your vagina is impressive, but can it lift 31 lbs? Russian mom, Tatiata Kozhevnikova, 42, was feelin’ a little loosey-goosey after giving birth. Instead of just doing kegels like the rest of us, she decided to challenge herself and become a below-the-belt strong woman.

Tatiana read up on the ancient Dao practice of using a small wooden exercise ball to flex the muscles in your hoo-ha. So, she grabbed one of her favorite knick-knacks, a Murano glass ball, off the shelf and dunked it in her hoop. Now, that’s a crafty way to get your husband to stop complaining about your costly tchotchke clutter! But unfortunately, it sorta got lost up there. “It took me ages to get it out!” Tatiana said. We hope she was exaggerating.

• Rihanna supposedly wants Chris Brown’s restraining order lifted so the two can “work on their friendship.” [Your Tango]—Rihanna’s dad doesn’t approve, and neither do we. [I’m not surprised at all by this.—Annika]
• Em & Lo want to know—do you have good playdar? [Em & Lo]
• North Carolina schools are now paying teenage girls, to not get pregnant. The going rate is $365 a year, or $1 a day.[Lemon Drop]—Not sure if this is the best route to pregnancy-free teens, as I’d take sex over a dollar any day.

Friday Jones, who is opening the luxe tattoo parlor Friday Jones Fifth Avenue this month, inked Angelina Jolie with Billy Bob’s name (on her vag!) back in the day. And luckily for Jolie, Jones had the wisdom to make the “Billy Bob” tattoo as much like a washable Crayola marker as she possibly could. Yikes. Not a good sign when the chick who tats you up doesn’t even have faith in your choice of men. Friday told W:

“I did [Angelina’s] secret Billy Bob tattoo when he was still with Laura Dern in public. I didn’t want to do it but I finally broke down and gave it to her. I watered down the black so it would be easier to remove. And wouldn’t you know, within two days, Timothy Hutton proposed to her after she got it done!  I’m not opposed to tattooing names, but you have to have a philosophy around it for the future.”

That tattoo must have hurt like a bitch if Angelina got it removed!

Yesterday, as I was flipping through People, I came across an advertisement that scared me to death. What was it marketing? Feminine hygiene products, of course. Because, I mean, what could be scarier than a period?! The Always Infinity ad features a dangerous tornado-like whirlpool swirling ominously into a gigantic maxi pad. A pad that, apparently, has the power to absorb ten times its weight— “so your heavy days won’t spin you out of control.” (If you care to see the full, 3-D, moving visual, check it out here.)

• Nine year-old Rubina Ali is more than just an adorable actress from “Slumdog Millionaire”—she’s also a soon-to-be author! [People] – From the description, the memoir sounds just as vivid as the beautiful film.
• Denise Richards talks about her “complicated” life in an interview with PopEater. [Pop Eater]—She actually sounds fairly intelligent! Way to step it up, Denise! Now if you could just stop flaunting your bra straps like a wannabe bimbo…
• Now that James Franco has bailed on giving the UCLA commencement speech, students are rallying together to try to get Conan O’Brien to give it. [Perez]—Here’s hoping they can get the hilarious redhead to show! I will be very jealous if they do.

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started.

We all love to be rode hard and put away wet. But sometimes we’re enjoying the ride so much, we don’t realize we’re dry—bone dry. While that can be a good problem to have, it’s still a painful predicament that could have you getting out of bed even more bow-legged than usual. This week’s Dr. V was inspired by a cowgirl in this very pickle. How do you heal a raw hide after some gun play?

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too! Now, let’s get this party started.

This week, I got a letter from a lady who’s feeling self-conscious about the scent of a woman. She wrote:

“I just started dating this guy and he’s cool, and smart, and dead sexy. But he told me that my vajayjay smells. Is that a diss or what?! I mean, he was drunk and he hasn’t dumped me, but he never goes down on me. I’ve tried douching, but he’s still not going down on me. And now I’m too nervous to say anything about it. What should I do?”

Have I seen too many vaginas, or does this pink-hued escalator in the world’s first ever Barbie flagship store in Shanghai look a hell of a lot like a hooha? I mean, really. The recently completed Barbie-themed Mattel store in Shanghai, China, was designed by Slade Architecture. At a whopping 35,000 square feet, the Barbie palace “holds the world’s largest and most comprehensive collection of Barbie dolls and licensed Barbie products, as well as a range of services and activities for Barbie fans and their families,” in which, per Mattel’s request, “Barbie is hero.” Um, you go, girl? The exterior is minimalist futurist, and the interior is slick pop with its Barbie-embedded walls, spaceship cosmetics counter, and a high-tech area where you can design your own Barbie doll. Still, that escalator is its most striking feature, IMO. What do you think of it: pretty people mover or totes cooter? [ArchDaily]

Oprah may be responsible for “vajayjay”—slang for “vagina,” for those of you living under a rock—entering the English lexicon, but she doesn’t own the trademark. That explains why VJJ Enterprises—which has filed a trademarking application—was able to manufacture the first product ever featuring the term. The best part? It’s a visor. For your vagina. Marketed as similar to a jock strap, the Vaj-j Visor is described as a “protective vaginal shield designed to help protect a woman’s inner vulva area inner labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening.” For sports? Actually, the Vaj-j Visor is supposed to be used during grooming activities, like Brazilian and bikini waxing, depilatories and shaving, hair coloring, tanning or spa treatments. Your vaginal muscles help keep the visor in place. All this contact with your naughty bits means that each visor needs to be tossed out after use. Visit the company’s website to find out how to buy it wholesale. [Vaj-J Visor via Mother Jones]

While men love it when we blow them, can women get blown, too? I’m talking literally—with smoke. That’s what I’ve been wondering on 4/20 (remember kids, don’t do drugs!). Erowid, the online encyclopedia of drugs, answers this burning question:

I was sitting around with my girlfriend yesterday, smoking marijuana out of a bong. We decided to try an experiment, so I exhaled a bong hit into her vagina and held it closed for a few seconds. When I let go, a significant amount of smoke was forced out. I did this three times, and a few minutes later she reported feeling high. My girlfriend has asthma, which prevents her from smoking up as much as she wants to. If vaginal administration of marijuana smoke is safe, it would allow her to get high without irritating her lungs. Is this safe for the vagina and the rest of the body?

Dope or dopey idea? Find out after the jump.