Say what you will about those socialist Frogs and their death panels for Grandma, but France’s socialized medicine has done right by Julie Delpy’s vagina. While promoting her new movie “Two Days In New York” last night, Delpy told Craig Ferguson everything he could have possibly wanted to know about the state of her hotpocket post-baby. French moms are taught exercises for the muscles of the vagina — I’m assuming Kegels, right? — to help tighten her ladybusiness after giving birth. It “rejuvenates” her vagina so she and her partner will be back to enjoying sex the way it felt before childbirth. Sure beats throwing in the towel and pulling on a pair of mom jeans.
Vaginas! Let’s talk about them. Perhaps, like me, you don’t know much about what anyone’s vagina looks like, except for your own. But it turns out the lips of the labia can be “innies” or “outies,” just like belly buttons, and “outies” … well, they look just like they sound. Surely, women with “outies” can feel discomfort down there when riding a bike or wearing tight-fitting jeans. But the truth is, the majority of the time a woman gets labioplasty surgery on her vagina, she’s letting a plastic surgeon have a go at her hooda with a scalpel for aesthetic reasons. She wants the perfect vagina, but what the heck is that?
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