Searching “vagina” on iTunes for a cheap thrill, basement pervs? You are shit out of luck. iTunes censors the word “vagina” from Eve Ensler’s play The Vagina Monologues on its e-book page in the title and throughout the teaser, spelling “vagina” as “v****a.” Strangely, though, iTunes does not blur the word “vagina” from the book’s cover image — hopefully no one sprains a wrist clutching their pearls upon seeing it. Thank you, Apple, for keeping for keeping us safe from such a dirty, bad word! How would my pretty little head have handled it if I wanted to buy a copy of The Vagina Monologues but I had to see the word “vagina” on your website? [iTunes.Apple.com]
Breaking news for the female anatomy! In New Zealand, it was deemed safe to use the words “vagina” and “discharge” in TV commercials. An advertisement for Carefree Acti-Fresh Panty Liners, which aired in July, was the first to drop the V-bomb on the country. Naturally, the Advertising Standards Authority received many complaints from “disgusted” viewers.
K Spice said, “I have a nine year old who is up until 8 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. and he definitely does not need to hear words like that.” God forbid he should know the anatomically correct name for a body part! Another outraged viewer complained that pairing of a naked woman (no genitals showing) and the word vagina was “overly sexual.” Gasp! Keep reading »
18 Again: it’s not a sequel to the Zac Efron romantic comedy “17 Again.” It’s a vaginal tightening gel and lubricant available in India. In this commercial set in a family’s home, a woman dances with her lover to a song that sounds likes Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” while hinting at him that she is — wink wink nudge nudge — “18 again” down there. Keep reading »
This morning, as the dull ache of cramps woke me from my slumber, I realized something kind of momentous. I have had my period for exactly 20 years. I mean, almost exactly, because I don’t know the exact date or time that my Aunt Flow first came to visit, but I do know it was at the beginning of the school year, before I turned 13. I turn 33 in November, so, yep, that makes for 20 bloody years. That’s a lot of tampons. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things about myself specifically in relation to tampons and their usage. Let me share them with you. Keep reading »
The moment in a child’s life when he or she learns about genitalia is a precious one, second only to the moment when they realize everybody poops. I know it is weird, but I can still remember when I learned that my older brother had a penis and I didn’t. This little girl Bailey just found out that Daddy has a penis and Mommy doesn’t. She’s still a bit confused about Grandma, however. At least Bailey is learning the real words and not “wee wee” and “hoo hoo,” which drive me crazy. [HyperVocal]
Say what you will about those socialist Frogs and their death panels for Grandma, but France’s socialized medicine has done right by Julie Delpy’s vagina. While promoting her new movie “Two Days In New York” last night, Delpy told Craig Ferguson everything he could have possibly wanted to know about the state of her hotpocket post-baby. French moms are taught exercises for the muscles of the vagina — I’m assuming Kegels, right? — to help tighten her ladybusiness after giving birth. It “rejuvenates” her vagina so she and her partner will be back to enjoying sex the way it felt before childbirth. Sure beats throwing in the towel and pulling on a pair of mom jeans.