Tag Archives: vagina

Girl Talk: My Ladyparts Hurt

Two years ago, I was sitting in the bathtub cheerfully shampooing my unruly mop of hair and engaging my morning ablutions. When the time came to wash my privates, a sudden, sharp, stinging sensation arose the second I touched soap to vulva. I actually cried out, causing my curious cat to peek over the tub rim at my submerged body. I rinsed the soap off quickly, but the burning sensation lingered.

And I remained both in pain — and dumbfounded — for the next 18 months. Keep reading »

Important Question Of The Day

Why has no one answered this question? What shud she do about the spider in her vagina (aka STD)? There is a reason why I will not go camping … I’m scared of running into this girl getting reeeely drunk and having sex on the bear ground. Spider in my vagina? Not so much. [The Yahoo Answers] Keep reading »

Ladies, Do You Have A “Buff Bay”?

Because I am committed to bringing you the most current and up-to-date genital slang, I feel obligated to share. My friend (who shall remain nameless) was at work yesterday when a female co-worker was checking out her camel toe. Weird … yes. After staring at her crotch for a full minute, the co-worker said to her, “Damn, girl! You have a buff bay!” Naturally, my friend had no idea what this meant. Have you heard it before? I certainly have not. Apparently a “buff bay” is a slang term for a fat, juicy vagina. I have confirmed this information on Urban Dictionary, the premiere source for all genital slang. According to Urban Dictionary, the term originated in Hackney, London amongst a group of lads who hung out in The Pembury Estate between the years of 1989 to 2000. OK! And I was still grappling with the term “fat monkey.” So there it is. Buff bay. You’re welcome. Keep reading »

Things You Shouldn’t Put In Your Vagina

  • 54 bags of heroin
  • 31 empty heroin bags
  • 8 prescription pills
  • $51.22 in cash and change

Twenty-seven-year-old Pennsylannia woman, Karin Mackaliunas, was arrested for suspected burglary and reckless driving. After a routine strip search, authorities discovered all of the items listed above stored in her vagina. Now that’s a vagina! Why bother with a purse when you can carry everything you need between your legs? [NY Mag] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Botox For Your Vajayjay?

  • Botox may help women whose vaginismus (vaginal spasms) prevent them from enjoying sex. And your vajayjay will look so much younger! [New York Daily News]
  • Networks like NBC, CBS and ABC won’t air commercials for the “female sexual aid” Zestra because it — gasp! — promotes pleasure for the ladies. Lie back and think of England, girls. [USA Today]
  • Kansas’ House of Representatives has passed a bill that would require the parents of a minor to consent to an abortion. Currently, parents in Kansas are required to be notified if their minor has an abortion. [KansasCity.com]

Keep reading »

Tajazzle Your Vajayjay For The Ultimate In Personal Confidence!


Vagina got you down? Put some bling in your fling with Tajazzle! The Tajazzle system gives us ladies “personal confidence” with scented body powder, lotions to put on your “kissful areas” (read: smelly vajajay), and last but certainly not least, sparkly crystal tattoos made of “genuine Swarovski elements” to affix someplace intimate and show off to your lover. Because if you so desperately need a man to compliment your dirty, ugly and bad ladyparts, putting sparkly jewels on your inner thighs to distract surprise him is totally the way to go. You can learn all about how Tajazzle will give you personal confidence in this vaguely softcore infomercial. I promise you it is worth 14 minutes of your life. But do not take a shot every time it says Tajazzle will give you “personal confidence,” because you will be dead before it’s through. Keep reading »

Boobs-Only Lesbians: This Website Is Just The Tits

Are you a girl who likes girls? No? Well, then are you a girl who likes girls’ boobs? You might be a “boobs-only lesbian,” according to the cheeky website BoobsOnlyLesbians.com, which posts photos of ladies enjoying each other’s tatas. The website is only for tatas, though. Claiming “you can touch yourself down there but I don’t want to,” BoobsOnlyLesbians.com say they cater to the sexual preferences of ladies — BOLs, if you will — with an “aversion to the vag.” (Cough, and straight men, cough.) While I fancy a lovely pair of boobs myself, I’m not sure actual lesbians would appreciate the co-optation of the term. Maybe we could all just agree to appreciate boobies — without labels. [BoobsOnlyLesbians.com] Keep reading »

A Handy Pocket Guide To Vaginal Euphemisms, Such As “Beef Curtains”

If you asked to touch my slobbering bulldog or my lobster claw, I wouldn’t have a damn clue what you were saying. But that’s because I don’t have this handy-dandy pocket guide to vaginal euphemisms! The number of ways to refer to a vagina as “just a place to put a penis” might alarm me if I actually believed anyone other than Penthouse letter writers refer to my beautiful ladyflower as “beef curtains.” [Feministing] Keep reading »

That’s Vaginal: Gap Sweater Tunic Is NSFW

Oh, Gap, what pervy places your design team’s minds have gone. Lest you think I’m alone in my belief that this sweater tunic is reminiscent of a hoo-ha, the ladies at Outblush wrote, “Let’s just say that if you’re performing in the Vagina Monologues, it would serve as a monologue in and of itself. Otherwise, you will be pointed at and sniggered at by strangers all day. Especially if you have an unconscious habit of fiddling with any embellishments on your clothes.” The color of the sweater — dare I call it “p***y pink”? — isn’t helping things. [Gap] Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: I Want A Ladyflower For A Day

If I could, I’d swap my penis for a vagina. Just for a day. I’m both physically and emotionally attached to my urinary and reproductive pleasure nodule. But I’d be lying if I wrote that I’m not curious as to what it’s like to have a secret garden. This curiosity does not call into question my sexuality, nor does it suggest that I’m an enlightened man who longs to experience the burdens of the feminine condition. The female reproductive organ is a source of endless fascination to men. We desire its sensual folds, fear its bloody mysteries, and owe it our very existence. One day I think it will be possible for men and women to trade genitals for fun and recreation. Keep reading »

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