Vagina you. No, seriously, VAGINA. YOU. You’re so scared of the vagina word that you barred Rep. Lisa Brown from speaking after she used it when addressing her opposition to Michigan’s recent string of extreme abortion bills. “Finally, Mr. Speaker,” Brown said, “I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’” So you vaginas can regulate and legislate and tell women what to do with their vagina vaginas, but you find using the vagina word too “offensive” to actually say? One of you vaginas actually said , “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women,” one state representative said. “I would not say that in mixed company.” Keep reading »
I always laughed when, in middle school, my friends worried about getting tampons stuck inside of them. I was the first to brush off any fear that anything could actually get stuck inside your vagina. I mean, how could you not know if something is up in there? However, I have been converted – a vagina can be a cavernous hiding spot for all sorts of paraphernalia. Somehow, unbeknownst to me, I once got a condom lost inside my vagina for days. Yes, days. Keep reading »
This Givenchy jacket totally looks a vagina (well, to be more specific, it looks like labia). It also costs $4,145, which seems like an exorbitant price for a vagina jacket, Givenchy or not, but there are actually a few situations that could justify the expense. Here are five of them… Keep reading »
G-spot, in my open letter to you, I warned that if you decided to pop up, you’d better be staying for good. And here you go showing up again, trying to steal all of the attention as always, without making any real commitment to hang around.
Some dude researcher, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, claims to have conclusively discovered your whereabouts. He dissected an 83-year-old dead lady and found what is described as a “blue, grape-like structure buried deep in the front wall of the vagina.”
That sounds … appealing. Keep reading »
Yesterday, after playing basketball with two of my guy friends, we took a trip to Walmart. I was walking ahead looking for a cart when I noticed my dude friends looking sort of bewildered. Lost, even. I called out to them to hurry up and they staggered towards me like they were drunk or had been hit over the head. That’s when I saw her. Well, perhaps I should say that’s when I saw it. I will admit, it was rather tantalizing. It big and round, moved side to side on its own accord, as if trying to hypnotize onlookers. It strolled right past me and within moments, my guys were back at my side, wide-eyed, mouths agape.
“With an ass like that, no wonder he put a ring on it,” said one of my friends, a college-educated Wall Street banker, referring to the woman who had just passed with her husband. I was frozen, partially in disgust, but mostly in amazement. For my guy friends, the simple fact that this lady had an abnormally well-rounded behind was the most important reason why her husband wanted to marry her. Keep reading »