Tag Archives: us weekly

Us Weekly Tries To Distract Us From Kim Kardashian’s Divorce By Dangling Her Diet In Our Face

Ami AngelowiczDecember 29, 2011 //
Super-Short Marriages
Kim and Kris aren't alone in being married for only a hot sec. 12 Photos »
Kim's Dating Timeline
kim kardashian photo
From Ray J to Reggie Bush to hubby Kris Humprhies. Read More »
Kardashian Divorce
kim kardashian and kris humphries photo
It was 72 whole days of wedded bliss! Read More »
Celebs On Divorce
Famous women talk about the pain of divorce. 9 Photos »

Divorce? What divorce? Did you know that Kim Kardashian is now a size 2?  Look over here at Kim in a red bikini! Look! Look at her bikini bod and forget about everything that happened in the last six months. Deflect with her diet of eggs, fish, chicken and salad. Intrigue with her dedication to eating organically and drinking wheatgrass. Amaze with tales of her hour-long training sessions.  Nope … didn’t work. That trick really only works with toddlers and dogs. I’m still waiting for a sincere explanation about her 72-day marriage. I mean, Sinead O’Connor’s only lasted 16 days and she had some insight, albeit disturbing: “I felt like I was living in a coffin.” [Celebitchy]

An Open Letter To The Tabloids About “Teen Mom”

Julie GersteinOctober 6, 2010 //

Dear Us Weekly, Life & Style, OK!, People and the rest of the tabloid mags out there:

We love that we can solidly rely on you for coverage of Jen Aniston’s sex life, Brangelina’s oversized brood, or anything to do with Kim Kardashian’s butt. But for the love of God, please stop covering the girls of “Teen Mom.” Keep reading »

Breaking News: Jessica Simpson Is Just Like Us!

Amelia McDonell-ParryJanuary 28, 2010 //

Haiti? So last week. The State of the Union? Meh. So last night. Us Weekly‘s idea of a breaking news story is Jessica Simpson’s rather untimely flatulence. [Us Weekly via DListed] Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Farrah’s Dying Wish, Michael’s “Murder,” And Kendra’s Wedding

adminJuly 1, 2009 //

As you might imagine, the tabloids—like every other popular culture venue out there—are flooded with new Michael Jackson conspiracies this week. It seems that they were so distracted with MJ that they decided to give their favorite usual victims—the Gosselins, Speidi, Jennifer Aniston—the week off. I bet they’re all feeling really good about themselves? We scrounge up the new tidbits the tabs spewed this week. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To Jessica Simpson

Wendy AtterberryJanuary 29, 2009 //

Dear Jessica,

The mistake you made wasn’t so much in gaining weight, it was in making such a big to-do of yourself when you were skinny. And those high-waisted jeans weren’t doing you any favors either. But the thing is, plenty of women in Hollywood are your size or bigger and no one’s giving them a hard time about it. Just look at Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson, or Christina Hendricks — they’ve all got curves like you and they’re hot! No one’s drawing them as 500 lb. caricatures, so what gives?
Keep reading »

Us Weekly Flip-Flops On Celebrity Diets!

Amelia McDonell-ParryJanuary 21, 2009 //

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my least favorite issue of Us Weekly — their annual “Diets That Work!” extravaganza. As usual, they lauded the absurd diet and fitness habits of already totally skinny celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Beyonce, and Molly Sims. But three weeks have passed and the editors have seemed to come to a realization — many of the fad celebrity diets which result in the super slim bodies they praised for “28 Bonus Pages!” are actually, GASP, dangerous and unhealthy. The latest issue of Us reports on “the new and risky cleanses stars” — like Paltrow, Beyonce, and Sims — “use to slim down.” Wait, you mean Gwyneth needs to do more than work out 14 hours a week in order to have those enviable stems? Say WHAT?! Keep reading »

Us Weekly Helps You Drop Weight Like A Star!

Amelia McDonell-ParryDecember 31, 2008 //

Hey look! It’s my least favorite issue of Us Weekly — “2009 Diets That Work!”! That is, CELEB diets that work — all of the diets, workout plans, and “weight loss tricks” are ones that have worked for big money stars like Jennifer Aniston (such a fatty before, RIGHT?), Britney Spears, and Beyonce. And by the way, only women are featured in the “28 page bonus” section (ZOMG, I am tots getting my $3.99 worth). Sure, the vast majority of Us‘s readers are female, and presenting the perfectly perfect bodies of celebs is supposed to be aspirational, but c’mon. Gimme a few male chubsters who lost some weight and how they did it — like Horatio Sanz and Seth Rogan. I want to know how those guys — who were truly overweight — lost the lard. Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Pete & Ashlee Wentz Confirm The Worst Kept Secret In Hollywood

Amelia McDonell-ParryMay 29, 2008 //
  • Pete and Ashlee Wentz (you asked for it chickie!) have confirmed that they’re expecting their first child together. They decided to wait to confirm the news until Ashlee made it through her first trimester, which means this baby (time to register for baby’s first flatiron!) should pop out around November. [FriendsOrEnemies.com]

    • Keep reading »

    Gossip Girl Ads Really Do Imply The F-Word

    Amelia McDonell-ParryApril 17, 2008 //

    Last night when we were walking home, we came across a wall of posters advertising the return of Gossip Girl. Guess that Keep reading »

    Star Couplings: John Mayer Assumes His Future Wife Reads Us Weekly

    Amelia McDonell-ParryMarch 13, 2008 //
  • John Mayer, you are such a tool. The singer told Best Life magazine, “When I think about my [future] wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in Us Weekly. It’s all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks.” Okay, dude. Maybe you should worry a little more about that embarrassing face you make when you play the guitar. [Us Weekly]
  • Of course Lisa Marie Presley is having twins. Does anyone just have one baby anymore? [DListed]
  • Okay, so we always knew there were gay rumors about Jake Gyllenhaal, but did you know that gossip mongers are now buzzing that Reese Witherspoon is really a lesbian? [2Snaps.tv]
    Keep reading »