In her new erotica collection Bending, author Greta Christina included a story called “The Unicorn And The Rainbow.” Although she wrote it “on a dare” after making a joke at a reading about how her stories are never “nice, gentle happy stories about unicorns fucking rainbows” and being challenged by audience members to do just that, the results are too well, interesting, not to share. Let me set the scene for you: A unicorn and a rainbow meet in a bar on a rainy night and bond over being “dropped” by their fans in favor of teen idols like Justin Bieber.
Christina penned a piece explaining her thought process while writing her unicorn porn, which is also interesting but not quite as salacious as being fucked by six colors at once. After the jump, some NSFW excerpts from “The Unicorn And The Rainbow.” Keep reading »
Internet geeks have entertained themselves by planking, Tebowing, owling and Vadering, but a new meme is horning in on the action — literally.
It’s called “unicorning,” and it basically requires people to wear rubber unicorn masks in inappropriate settings, which is essentially everywhere.
The meme has been around since last Fall when its originator, Laura DeMerchant, a Los Angeles-based film producer started collecting unicorn masks and handing them out to friends for pictures. Read more on Huffington Post…
I think this headline in and of itself is enough to keep us all entertained for a while. But I’m sure the details of the incident won’t hurt. Porn star Andy San Dimas, who Deadspin reports is part of a “unicorn army,” attended the Pirates/ Mets game last weekend while in Pittsburgh for a stripping gig. She was allegedly kicked out of PNC Park for doing a sexy dance while wearing the unicorn mask. According to her seat mates, she appeared to be glassy-eyed and on heroin (that is all speculative, of course).
Sometime between the sexy unicorn dance and being escorted out of the park, this picture of a cop wearing San Dimas’ unicorn mask surfaced on Twitter and was removed shortly thereafter. Police are now investigating the unicorn cop in question to determine his involvement in the stunt. I ask: what’s the harm of sexy unicorn dancing? [CBS; Deadspin]
Miley Cyrus is doing more than fine as evidenced by this video of her twerking it in a unicorn onezie. “It’s a onezie PARTY of one,” she tweeted. I strongly approve of this. BUT if you look closely at her paw, hoof, hand in the photo after the jump, you’ll notice that her engagement ring appears to be back on. [Jezebel] Keep reading »
Breaking news in the world of mythical creatures. The Korean Central News Agency has reported that archaeologists in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea have confirmed the existence of the “lair of a unicorn” ridden by King Tongmyong. KCNA reports:
The lair is located 200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Moran Hill in Pyongyang City. A rectangular rock carved with words ‘Unicorn Lair’ stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392).
Well … if the sign says, then it must be true! Or not. When I was a kid I made a sign that said “Unicorn Lair” and put it outside my bedroom. There were no unicorns inside. Make of my anecdote what you will. [NPR]
A lot of people see things in their chicken nuggets. Like George Washington or Jesus. Even though those unique nuggets both auctioned off for thousands of dollars, this chicken specimen is far more magical.
“So I was eating my chicken strips when all of a sudden … you guessed it … unicorn,” said the Tumblr user who discovered the mythical, chicken creature. No word on what fast food joint this one-of-a-kind piece of poultry flew out of.
See! Unicorns DO exist. Even if they’re made of pink slime. I can’t wait to see how much money this guy fetches. [Huffington Post]
Yeah, we definitely need a Screwnicorn, the love child of a unicorn and corkscrew. This clever bottle opener combines our childhood love of unicorns with our adult love of wine. A magical, mystical drinking experience is guaranteed for all. Unfortunately, rainbows are not included. But you should have fun saying things like, “Please pass the Screwnicorn” or “Let me Screwnicorn that bottle for you.”
I’ve got good news for the 8-year-old girl/gay boy inside of all of us. Your parents may have ruined Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and maybe even where babies come from, but they can’t take away the mythical, magical, magnificent Unicorn! It lives! Granted, in captivity, but a beautiful unicorn has been prancing around a nature preserve in Italy. Its mother, who was rescued after being hit by a car, gave birth at the facility to the now 10-month old baby roe deer. While scientists claim the horn is a genetic mutation, this “Unicorn” is still proof of what seemed to be just a fabled fantasy. Here’s hoping there’s a mermaid out there too! [Telegraph via Dlisted] Keep reading »