Recently, a reader asked “Dear Prudence” how to “unfriend” a friend:
How do you “unfriend” someone, not on Facebook, but in real life? This is a person who is also friendly with someone I know well, so it is not unlikely that we might all get together through our mutual friend. However, it might seem odd to the mutual friend that I no longer wish to associate with this person. I see both of them at work and we often eat lunch together. How should I handle this? My main reason for unfriending this person is a serious lack of boundaries on their part (constant evangelizing me to her religion, constant “invitations” which are hard to say no to, bad manners, etc.).
Once, I had a flaky friend. Whenever I’d call her or make plans with her, she’d have one of three excuses: she was too tired, she was sick with a headache or a stomach ache, or she would have to call me back, which almost never happened. I got the hint. Either she didn’t value our friendship or thought her time was more important than mine, and I decided she and I didn’t really need to be friends. While it’s hard to end a friendship, a bad one can be as destructive as an abusive relationship. Here’s the best way to “unfriend” a friend if you find yourself in a similar situation. Keep reading »