OMFG! I’ve discovered the most worthwhile way to waste time EVER. Amelia informed me that a Tyra Banks Smize Yourself! app existed and of course, I purchased it immediately.
Basically, you line up your face in a cut out and then you smize into the camera while Tyra tells you how “fierce” you look. (I know this to be a blatant lie because I’m working from home today and and haven’t brushed my hair or put on any makeup.) Then Tyra’s tells you that she’s “cooking up your smize.” Then you wait and about 30 seconds later a bad picture of yourself is transformed into an even worse picture of you looking like some kind of deranged fucking alien that Tim Burton shat out. Keep reading »
She wants to be on top! Kiara Belen placed runner-up on Cycle 19 of “America’s Next Top Model,” the college edition. The gorgeous, statuesque former UC Irvine basketball player lost to cornsilk-blonde Laura James, the daughter of “Dynasty” actor John James, in an extremely close final panel. But as pained as I felt watching Kiara take second place, I was also pretty sure this young woman would be OK. From the very first episode, Kiara’s determination to get past her crappy upbringing and her confidence in herself were truly inspiring.
Kiara is busy getting her modeling career off the ground (she’s already worked with Janice Dickinson — not too shabby!), but she was kind enough to answer some of our questions over email about the luscious Rob Evans, kooky competitor Victoria, and Tyra’s best modeling advice.
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When I heard that Kristin, the super-genetically blessed blonde girl on this cycle of “America’s Next Top Model,” was only 19, I felt relieved. At least she’s young enough that she still has time to shake that whole “I think I’m Regina George in ‘Mean Girls’” thing.
On Friday’s episode of “ANTM,” Kristin spent the whole episode, as usual, complaining about the other girls instead of focusing on her smize and tooch. And yet when she ended up in the bottom two, Kristin threw a temper tantrum backstage, lashed out at Kiara and Leila for “gloating” over their high scores and repeatedly called sweet little Leila a “bitch.”
Find out who went home — i.e. SPOILER! — after the jump… Keep reading »
Every reality show competition has its oddball and Victoria on “America’s Next Top Model” fits it to a ‘T.’ She was homeschooled, attends online schooling at uber-religious Liberty University, and when she “gets in character” she over-acts during all her photoshoots … like in the most recent episode when she spat at the photographer. Victoria also just so happens to be the girl I want to win; she takes some of the best pictures, and easily has the best work ethic (which is half the battle).
Over the past several episodes of “ANTM,” the other girls have been closing in on Victoria. It started with snotty comments about Victoria being weird — which, sure, she is. Then it exacerbated in the episode before last when, at judging, the girls told Tyra Banks that they think Victoria isn’t eating enough — which, if we can go off the way producers have edited the show, is probably also true. Victoria defended herself and said she doesn’t have an eating disorder, she’s just extremely anxious about the competition and being away from her mom for the first time — which, again, is probably true. Tyra then pronounced she deeply cares about the health and well-being of the girls on her show, threatened that if Victoria restricts her eating she’s out of the competition, and vowed to keep an eye on her.
Then, on Friday night’s episode, all of this hoopla went even further: the remaining girls in the house confronted Victoria, telling her they don’t think she’s stable enough to continue with the competition. Keep reading »
Sometimes when Tyra Banks booty tooches, she gets juicy muffin top, but she doesn’t care dammit! Tyra posted this photo to her Instagram, drawing attention to the only-slightly-noticeable-because-she-pointed-out extra bit o’ flesh over her jeans, and emphasized how she felt about said muffin top by including the hashtag #perfectisboring. But, like, how long until Tyra is on the cover of Us Weekly sharing her muffin top whittling secrets, you know? This shit is always so cyclical. Also, if that is a muffin top, I’m going to have to come up with something new for what I’ve got going on. Hmm … how about “exploding popover”? [Twitter]
Do as she says, not as she does, “America’s Next Top Model” hopefuls. Tyra Banks forgot to smize during a recent jog in NYC. I believe she would refer to this look as “dead in the face” or “ugly, ugly” as opposed to “ugly pretty.” Or maybe she was just setting an example of what not to do for the recent “ANTM” photo shoot where the girls were high fashion zombies. [Photo: Splash News]
I don’t think I’ve ever been less attracted to Ryan Lochte than in this photo. Put the duck lips away, sexy! You don’t need to pout to look good. America’s favorite shit-for-brains swimmer has been covering New York Fashion Week for E! and ran into Tyra Banks at the Jeremy Scott runway show. The camera-loving twosome mugged for the cameras, but I’m disappointed Tyra didn’t teach Ryan how to booty tooch. His Speedo-clad butt would look hot with a pop. See one more pic after the jump! [E! Online] Keep reading »
Whoopee, tonight is the premiere of “America’s Next Top Model” Cycle 19! The college edition, or something. I really hope Tyra has some new stuff in store. I mean, after 18 seasons, things get stale. Although I have no commentary to offer as of yet, I honor the return of “ANTM” with this genius morphing of Tyra Banks and a nipple. Never would have thought of combining these two, but I’m jealous of the person who thought of it first. This gave me lots of new morphing ideas. Going to MorphThing.com, the site that makes it all possible, to screw around. [Mean Plastic]