There’s a perverse pleasure in keeping tabs on your ex-paramours on social media. Perhaps you monitor their Twitter feed before you to go bed to see if you can gauge whether there was a more salacious reason behind their sudden decision to end things. Maybe after a couple glasses of wine and watching half of “The Notebook,” you find yourself scrolling through Instagram, making assessments about whether or not the person that showed up in their feed is a friend, a good coworker, or a cousin you never knew about. Maybe seeing the articles that they share from Upworthy and the Onion in your Facebook feed is a way of keeping them in your life, if even for a little while.
Whatever your reasons are, the need to keep up with people that you’re no longer involved with is very real, a secret shame that we don’t often feel comfortable talking about with others. It’s okay to maintain this behavior up until a certain point, but in every broken relationship’s wake, there comes a point when it’s time to unfriend, unfollow, block, and mute, to completely and totally DISCONNECT. Ripping off the Band-Aid sucks, but it’s necessary when you’re trapped in an unhealthy cycle of speculation three months or three years after you guys have ended things. But when is the appropriate time? Here are some potential situations you might find yourself in, and some gentle guidance on when and how to disconnect. Keep reading »