Tag Archives: twilight

Robert Pattinson Hates New York And His Wacko Fans

Good job, stupid Twilighters. Your insanity has made Robert Pattinson hate NYC and all its women. While shooting “Remember Me” in Manhattan, the heartthrob has been bombarded by desperate, love-starved tweens hoping to cop a feel. They are so bad that Pattinson’s “Remember Me” costars are worried. First there was that whole running-away-from-fans-and-getting-hit-by-a-cab incident. They also say he has lost a lot of weight and is miserable. He’s had to hotel hop so that his obnox fans won’t find out where he’s staying. R-Patz refuses to even look up any more for fear of egging on his wacko fans. Keep reading »

Vampires Are Yesterday’s News, Zombies Are The Hotties Of Tomorrow

The front page of the latest New York Times Style section is plastered with the faces of sexy vampires. Not that vampires are not the “it” sex symbols of the moment, but whenever the Times writes about something, that thing has inevitably jumped the shark. Not that I think the blood suckers from “Twilight” are going to be disappearing any time soon, but I think vampires have reached their zenith. I wish “True Blood” many more seasons of sex and sucking, but vampire culture is past its prime. The real question is, what is the next supernatural creature millions of girls will lust after? After a thorough and exhausting inventory of the non-human hotties out there, I bring you your next fantasy. Keep reading »

Die-Hard “Twilight” Fans Go On A Tour In Forks, Washington

Forks, Washington, where the “Twilight” trilogy takes place, sounds like the most boring town in the world. The weather sucks and it’s way the eff up in the middle of nowhere. I’m not surprised only 3,000 people live there. But delusional die-hard “Twilight” fans don’t see it that way. Last weekend, $300 “Twilight” Forks tours were offered, flooding the town with squealing tweens. Twilighters gathered in the drab town to go to Forks High School, where they were given fake diplomas. There was also a “prom,” where bands like the Bella Cullen Project and Bella Rocks played. A tour of Forks was offered as well. OK, I’m starting to get a little freaked-out. These people do realize that “Twilight” isn’t real right, RIGHT? Yeah, and before you say the movie was filmed there, well, it wasn’t. Most of the flick was shot in Oregon. [People] Keep reading »

Video: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kills Edward Cullen!

This hilarious video by Jonathan McIntosh in genius. Watch the whole thing and, I promise, your day will be made. I love R-Patz as much as the next gal but his obsession with Bella is a little creepy. Buffy’s reaction makes more sense. Keep reading »

Twilight’s Edward Cullen Ruins Guys’ Chances With Girls

According to one writer, Edward Cullen, the moody heartthrob of “Twilight” (in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so), has ruined, just ruined the chances of young men when it comes to wooing their female counterparts. Ergo, Lydia Netzer lists “Ten Ways ‘Twilight’ Has Ruined a Generation of High School Girlfriends.” Apparently, Cullen’s sullen, pouty ways, heroic casualness, and come-here-go-away dating vibe has won the hearts of teen girls but destroyed the likelihood of teen boys scoring with them. Keep reading »

Quickies!: Sarah Jessica Parker And Matthew Broderick’s Twins Are Born

  • Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s twin daughters were born yesterday via a surrogate. The babies’ names are Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick. [Quickies] — That first name sucks ass, even if it has familial significance.
  • Mattel is releasing “Twilight” dolls in the likeness of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s characters, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. [Perez Hilton] — OK, Kristen officially has to give up her I’m-so-awkward-I’m-cool shtick because nothing spells conformity like M-A-T-T-E-L.
  • How did Tanner P. from “The Bachelorette” know that Jillian’s feet were “softer than s**t?” [E! Online] — I guess he’s had a ton of crap in his life.

Keep reading »

Robert Pattinson Is A Worthy Cause, Say Petitioners

Back in March we told you Robert Pattinson has a problem with body odor. We took a lot of flack from his fans for that little mention in “Quickies,” even though we were reporting the truth. Well, now the fans are complaining about the hottie’s B.O. too. Eighty-nine people have signed the “Please Wash Your Hair, Robert Pattinson” petition so far, and another set of fans have signed the “Petition to get Robert Pattinson to take a bath!!! Who’s with me?” But there have been more positive petitions regarding Rob Patz. More than 5,000 people want him to host “Saturday Night Live,” at least one person wants him to use his British accent in “New Moon,” and several hope he’ll make an appearance in Tampa, Kansas City, and Australia. There’s no word yet whether any of these petitions have been successful, but one thing’s for sure, Robert’s celebrity will grow every day as long as he stars in the “Twilight” saga. [E! Online] Keep reading »

Lip Venom And Other “New Moon” Product Tie-Ins We Hope They Make

The second movie in the Twilight Saga, “New Moon,” will be released Nov. 20, and it’s supposed to be bigger and better than “Twilight.” Since the first movie was such a huge success, companies are already coming up with product tie-ins related to Edward, Bella, and friends. DuWop, the makeup brand behind Lip Venom, will supposedly release a special Twilight branded line of makeup. But we think there are plenty of other products that could fly off shelves with the “Twilight” logo on their packages. Keep reading »

Robert Pattinson Runs Away From Fans And Gets Hit By A Cab

Robert Pattinson was hit by a taxi yesterday in New York City, while he was running from crazed fans who had gathered to catch a glimpse of him filming “Remember Me.” Although the cab clipped him, he was not hurt and sauntered away—much like the invincible, sexy vampire that he is.

This all went down on East 12th Street…which is where I live! This is all the proof I need, we are definitely getting married some day. Maybe he was even running towards my apartment to propose? It’s okay, Rob, I’ll wait. Is it just me, or does it seem like he may be turning into our generation’s Princess Diana? Everyone leave my man alone. [People] Keep reading »

When Twilight Fans Attack!!!

There are no words. Other than, I swear I was not there, don’t believe a word anyone tells you. [via DListed] Keep reading »

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