TODAY IS MY CHRISTMAS.
Two of my all-time favorite things, Carrie Underwood and “The Sound of Music,” are colliding tonight for a live performance on NBC, where my homegirl will be playing the ever-flawless Maria von Trapp. So, naturally my entire day today will consist of hardcore fangirling.
Let this be a warning: If anyone tries to reach me from approximately 8 to 11:30 p.m, you will be unsuccessful, because I will be happily live tweeting through every yodel, every song and every one of Captain von Trapp’s whistles. Join me! Keep reading »
There are certain things that you miss when you don’t have cable for more than a decade of your life. Like, how the whole “On Demand” thing works. (WHUT? You can watch shows after they’ve aired?!) Until I started curling up with my boyfriend’s Time Warner Cable remote, I had no idea that all “murder porn” as they call it on “South Park” had migrated to its own channel. (Sorry if I’m like, 12 years late with this news, like I said, I didn’t have cable.Please forgive me.) Since I prefer not to use the words “murder” and “porn” in the same sentence, I can more accurately describe the ID lineup as all “true crime” stories ALL THE TIME. Or as the network more eloquently puts it: ” Investigation Discovery gives you insight into true stories that piece together puzzles of human nature.”
You’ve got everything from your “Datelines” and “20/20′s” to your fictionalized, real crime series. The acting is soooo bad, but often the story lines are more believable than TV crime shows (even when they’re ripped from the headlines) because they are REAL. If you’re not already indulging in this fine channel, here are some reasons why you should probably start right away. And let me warn you, you’ll probably get addicted like I did. Keep reading »
Sorry, “Basketball Wives” fans, but VH1 has pulled the plug on the show’s upcoming reunion special.
According to reports, producers at the network canceled the season five reunion because Evelyn Lozada refused to participate. Sources say the reality star bailed “because she’s sick and tired of talking about her split from ex-husband Chad Johnson” and she knew “the break-up would be the biggest topic on the reunion show.” Read more at Hello Beautiful…
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been watching season five of “Modern Family” religiously since it premiered a month ago, and have since developed an unhealthy addiction to the Dunphys.
Something else I know? I need input when I have life-changing questions like What kind of bra is Sofia Vergara wearing that makes her boobs sit just below her chin like that? and Is Eric Stonestreet the most convincing straight guy to to play a gay guy in the history of TV?
That’s where you come in. Keep reading »
The CW could have made television masturbation history if its new pilot for 16th century-based castle drama “Reign” had aired as planned. But unfortunately, the scene was so explicit that it made the press blush. In the uncut version, handmaid Kenna diddles herself in a stairwell only to be discovered by the King of France, who offers to assist her with the task, obviously.
So as not to outrage the Parents Television Council, the network made an executive decision to edit the scene down to nothing more than innuendo — a quick cut to the King’s hand reaching for Kenna’s privates. Womp, womp, womp. Maybe someday network TV will grow a large enough pair to show a handmaiden pleasuring herself, but for now, we’ll have to rely on cable TV.
Click through for some self-pleasure scenes that we were allowed to see in their entirety. [EW]
Get ready for heartbreak, Finchel fans. The most dreaded/anticipated episode in “Glee” history is here, and I, for one, have stocked up on Kleenex, because I will become a snot monster at exactly 9 p.m.
Tonight, “Glee” says goodbye to Finn Hudson in a special tribute episode to Cory Monteith, who passed away in July from a toxic combination of heroin and alcohol.
Keep reading »
Stuck in a senioritis rut? Would a class on “Downton Abbey” make you stop texting during a lecture? Camden County College in New Jersey is now offering a course called “Downton Abbey: Life In A Country House.” At first I wanted to laugh, but it actually sounds really interesting. The course covers things like “The Inheritance Problem: Marriage, Women And Property” and “Technology Intrudes: Lights, Phones And Cars.” Surprisingly, this isn’t the only “Downton”-focused college class available: Oakland University in Michigan also offers a course which meets at Meadow Brook Hall, a country-style house built in 1928. Students taking “The World of Downton Abbey: Revolution, Rebellion And Re-Creation” get to snack on scones and tea during class. But one important question: will they learn how to give a well-timed withering insult a la the Dowager Countess? [Vanity Fair; Detroit Free Press]
I like to think that Louis C.K. set the scene for other stand-up comedians to take over our televisions, one sitcom at a time: his uniquely-formatted single-camera show, “Louie,” is one of the best, most interesting things in entertainment right now, and is as ground-breaking today as it was when it first aired in 2010. But on the more traditional end, stand-up comedian and “SNL” writer John Mulaney’s eponymous series, “Mulaney,” has just been picked up for a full series run by Fox after being developed — and then dropped by — NBC. Said Fox entertainment chairman Kevin Reilly of the venture, “John is one of the sharpest and most skilled next-generation comedic voices out there, who also happens to be surrounded by the best of the best on this new show.”
The comedy, which will be executive-produced by “SNL” creator Lorne Michaels (this bodes well!) and directed and written by Mulaney himself, stars his character as an “aspiring comedian who comes of age under the influence of his boss (Martin Short), his roommates, and his neighbors.” This news is exciting for a few reasons — firstly, John Mulaney is HILARIOUS. He’s also young (31) and adorable, which will make him a welcome addition to any TV lineup. But I’ll stop objectifying him for a second and move on to the more important things. Read on for more on John Mulaney, and check out some clips from his stand-up and interviews … Keep reading »
Well, that’s a disappointment! As much as we — and everyone else, because come on, who doesn’t love Rebel Wilson? — wanted the actress’s new show “Super Fun Night,” which premiered last night, to be the new best thing ever, the actuality of the show is more like our worst fears for it realized. The ABC sitcom takes the super funny, super adorable, super charming Wilson and turns her into a sort of punchline of herself whose main preoccupation is, “HEY GUYS, DON’T FORGET THAT I’M ALSO SUPER FAT.” It’s just a waste of a talented, multi-faceted comedienne’s breadth of humor and genuine ability. Like, how many Spanx jokes does a 22-minute pilot need? Four. The answer is four. Jezebel provided an excellent, if depressing, compilation of every fat joke from the first episode, and not only are they abundant to the point of superfluity, they’re also, well, not funny. (Furthermore, they stripped Rebel of her Australian accent, which unlike unfunny fat jokes is an actual crime against humanity.)