Woohoo! “The Bachelorette” is back! Andi Dorfman, last season’s tough talking DA who told Juan Pablo where to stick it, is basically this show’s ideal star. She’s pretty, she’s feisty and, most of all, she is desperate to find love and be engaged at the end. Unfortunately for her, the casting directors phoned it the fuck in this season, as over half of the dude contestants gave me MAJOR gay vibes and many of them are just straight up unattractive. Like, I’m pretty horny these days, and I would still need beer goggles to bring 95 percent of these dudebros home. If I was her, I would ask for a do over. Alas, the cards have been dealt and Chris Harrison has uttered those infamous words, “Let the journey begin!” Here’s this week’s recap — presented in superlatives! Keep reading »
Blow job, ladies. Blow. Jobs.
In last night’s episode of “Mad Men,” Megan Draper’s saucy French-speaking minx of a mother was back in town, and she had some advice for Megan, whose distance from husband Don was all but obvious. “He may think you belong more to other people than he does to you,” Marie says, having just seen her daughter sign autographs for two teen girls. Her advice for Megan, if she wants to keep her husband interested in her, is to stop dressing like his wife. “The only thought he should have at this dinner is how quickly he can get between your legs,” she says in a bit of TMI sex advice. Megan giggles but complies, and sure enough, after a hilariously uncomfy business dinner with clients, to which Megan wore a chocha-showing dress, Don is rarin’ to go.
I don’t think Marie is wrong that Don has become distant from Megan as her own star has risen — but I certainly don’t think that that is her fault or that it’s her responsibility alone to keep their marriage hot and spicy. But I won’t deny that Marie’s advice worked, at least for the time being. A little while later in the episode, when Don returns home late, Megan gives what I think is the first blow job in the show’s history. Correct me if I’m wrong though.
Anyway, check out two clips above and some GIFs of the episode’s other great moments (spoilers ahead!) after the jump! Keep reading »
Last week on “Game of Thrones,” we learned the one thing Jon Snow knows — cunnilingus — and this week, Ygritte, the lucky recipient of his tongue lashing, made it clear she’s not letting him go. Prepping for this climb up the giant ice wall, Ygritte calls Jon out, saying she knows he is really still loyal to the crows and not Mance Rayder, despite the fact that he took her dare and gave up his oath of celibacy. Ygritte doesn’t seem to care who Jon is ultimately loyal to, so long as he stays loyal to her. “You’re a proper lover, Jon Snow,” she compliments him, saying the other men she’s been with haven’t treated her as well, “Or done the thing you did with your tongue.” But later: Keep reading »
I wasn’t sure if “Game Of Thrones” could get better than Khaleesi raising fire-breathing dragon hell, but last night’s episode might have been even better than the week prior. First of all, SO MANY BARE ASSES. And taut ones at that! Forget getting a bikini body, I want a winter is coming body, mmkay? Anyway, let’s review some of the better moments from last night’s episode. Spoilers (and some NSFW GIFs) after the jump! Keep reading »
Is it just me, or has this season of “Mad Men” been so depressing? Well written and smart, as always, but just dire. Six seasons in, Don Draper is still the same unfaithful cad that he’s always been, seemingly incapable of evolving. I used to have so much empathy in my heart for Don, but after last night’s episode, I think he might just be among the most interesting but irredeemable characters on TV — which puts him in good company, alongside Tony Soprano, Walter White, and Dexter Morgan. There was plenty of firm biz in this episode (it’s Don vs. Peggy in the battle for Ketchup!), but let’s focus on the juicier stuff… Keep reading »
Don’t get your panties in a bunch — I’ve learned my lesson from prior recapping experiences and won’t be giving away any “Walking Dead” season finale spoilers before the jump on this post. If you click on and see something you didn’t want to see, you have only yourself to blame! Keep reading »
Well, the journey is almost over. Last week, Bachelor Bronze visited the final four’s hometowns and sent sweet Des packing because he was totallys cared of her tattooed brother. This week, it’s time to get the romance on, as Sean and the final three travel to Thailand so Sean can bang all three women on the Fantasty Suite before choosing which two he wants to introduce to his parents. Wait, Sean doesn’t do that. I forgot he’s a born-again virgin. Maybe he’ll finger bang them? Let’s find out! Keep reading »
We have reached a pivotal moment in every “Bachelor” series — it’s time for our lovelorn hunk to choose which four women will get to take him home to meet their families. Bachelor Bronze Sean Lowe has so whittled down his potential wives to six women: AshLee, Catherine, Dez, Lesley, Lindsay and Tierra. At this point, it’s hard for me to imagine which two girls Sean could possibly let go of, since he has off-the-walls chemistry with all of them, including the loathsome Tierra. Let’s see how he manages such an arduous task… Keep reading »
Thank god, Sunday nights have finally got more gratuitously violent and bloody again! “The Walking Dead” is back! In last night’s episode, we finally found out whether either or both of the redneck brothers made it out of the Governor’s demented zombie cock fight alive, if Andrea has grown a brain, and whether or not new arrivals to the prison, Tyreese and his crew, can be trusted. Also, mad zombie brains exploding everywhere, as per usual. Click onward for a full recap with plenty of clips! Keep reading »
Two episodes of “The Bachelor” in one week? Cat lady Christmas has come early this year! I’m not sure why ABC felt these two episodes were climactic enough to warrant back to back airings, but I’m not complaining. On Monday’s episode, Tierra The Tierrable established herself not only as this season’s villain, but its resident bunny boiler as well. So, was she any more Tierrafying in last night’s episode? Let’s find out! Keep reading »