Saturday

• “Dirty Jobs” on Discovery at 10:00 a.m.
• “Little House on the Prairie” on Hallmark at 11:00 a.m.
• “Stardust” on The Movie Channel at 11:25 a.m.

The Parents Television Council has asked CW affiliates not to air the much-anticipated threesome episode of “Gossip Girl” because airing the teen menage a trois would be “reckless and irresponsible,” said the group’s president Tim Winter in a statement Wednesday. The group says on its website that “the show conveys the message that sex is a tool used to manipulate people.” Although the promos for the “3SOME” don’t say who will be involved, some suspect that it will be the show’s top schemers, Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass, with another major character. The median viewer age is 27 years old, according to a CW spokesperson, a claim Winter said in his statement “doesn’t even pass the ‘laugh test.’” He said “Gossip Girl” is “expressly targeted to impressionable teenagers.”

While rumors flew all season that many of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” were broke, they did their best to keep the situation under wraps and downplay the home downsizing they were having to do. The women of Orange County, perhaps realizing that they need to up the dramatic ante, were more than vocal about their financial woes in last night’s season premiere episode. The worst off seemed to be Jeanna Keough, who you know as the brunette, square-faced former Playmate. A real estate agent who was once rolling in dough, Jeanna is now struggling to make ends meet, especially as she divorces her hubby. Not only does she reveal that she is moving into a much smaller house, she also gets a lecture on spending from teenage son Colton. “It’s weird to be in a place where you have to think before making a purchase,” she said. Awww, poor baby. But seriously, times are so tough for her that she’s leaving the show.

The Food Network announced this week that it will air a two-hour “Super Chef Special” of “Iron Chef America,” which will feature First Lady Michelle Obama, White House Executive Chef Cristeta Comerford, and the White House Kitchen Garden. On Jan. 3, celebrity chefs Mario Batali, Bobby Flay, and Emeril Lagasse will be greeted by Obama and given their challenge: “create a meal for America using the White House Kitchen Garden’s produce as their secret ingredients,” the Food Network revealed in a statement. The teams will be Flay and Comerford against Lagasse and Batali. The four chefs will head to New York “Kitchen Stadium” with their produce for the battle, creating five dishes that show off their garden ingredients and “represent the ultimate American meal.” Chef Nigella Lawson, Olympic gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, and actress Jane Seymour will judge the battle. [FoxNews.com]

“Project Runway” has been a little off this season, with the exception of amazing guest judges like Christina Aguilera and Milla Jovovich. Is the show’s formula feeling stale the sixth time around? Did the move to Lifetime ruin it? Or is this just the lamest cast ever? Last night, the five contestants were taken to the Getty Center and had to pick a piece of inspiration to base their garment on. Wait, that sounds familiar—didn’t they do that with the Metropolitan Museum of Art a season or two ago?

Remember, remember the Fifth of November. This was the day that Guy Fawkes was thwarted in his attempt to explode the British Parliament in the 17th Century (and was caught, tortured, and killed). Our friends across the pond celebrate and commemorate with bonfires, burnings in effigy, and such. This side of the pond, I’m promoting anarchy through remembering Natalie Portman in “V for Vendetta.” The movie (based on the comic) imagined a dystopian future where people lived under totalitarian British rule and V attempted to viciously overthrow the vile government through violence. And Natalie shaved her head. Remember, remember ... it was the cutest thing ever ...

Just when I thought no one could exploit her struggle with weight any more than Carnie Wilson, Kirstie Alley is fat again and eager to capitalize on it. Rumor has it that she signed on to do a reality show on A&E about her struggle to lose weight. I wonder if it will air in the same time slot as Carnie’s show, “Unstapled”? And I wonder what it will be called—my best guesses are “Tipping The Scale” and “Really Fat Actress.” Inner grimace. Inner groan.

You didn’t watch last night’s episode of “The City,” did you? Yeah, I didn’t think so—the show is a bit of a snooze fest. But this season there is one big, huge saving grace—Roxy Olin. The producers brought her in to replace Whitney’s BFF from last year, Erin, who was too nice for her own good and not nearly dramatic enough to hold our attention for more than 10 seconds. So the producers plucked Roxy to be Whitney’s new bestie—Roxy supposedly is a friend from grade school who decided to move to New York to embark on a fashion career. And yes, you have seen her before. Her papa produces “Brothers and Sisters” and her mama, Patricia Wettig, stars in it, so she’s had a guest spot on the show as Michelle, a role she reprised last week. Oh, and she was also on an episode of “The Hills.” Remember the first time Lauren Conrad met Stephanie Pratt and got into a fight with her and her friend? Yep, the friend was Roxy. Sneaky trick, producers. She obviously wasn’t cast for either role—both are totally authentic. That’s sarcasm, people.

After the premiere of VH1’s “Sex Rehab,” I found myself thinking one thing: How much did folks get paid to be on this show, cause I certainly hope it’s a whole heck of a lot. Ask and ye shall receive—a day later, I have my answer. Comedian Artie Lange, a former heroin and cocaine addict, has revealed to the NY Post that he was offered $200K to go on “Celebrity Rehab.” He turned the offer down. “They said it was about me getting better, but if I relapsed, they’re not going to air that?” he said. “My mother knows I’ve done coke, but she’s never seen me do it.” Still, that is a lot of dough we’re talking about. After the jump, let’s see how that compares to what others get for starring in reality shows. [TV.com]

Last night, because “Kate Plus 8” is in limbo thanks to a certain someone (JON! That’s you!), TLC decided to air a special called “Kate: Her Story,” featuring Kate Gosselin being interviewed by Natalie Morales. Morales failed to ask really important questions—like, “How do you feel about Heidi Montag being you for Halloween?”—and basically just gave Kate a forum to cry and smear her smoky eye makeup. Since you probably couldn’t stomach the idea of watching the whole thing (plus, you were busy watching the World Series), here are the choicest quotes from the hour-long special.

As the weather outside starts to get frightful, evenings parked in front of the TV are sounding more and more appealing. What will I be watching this week? The World freaking Series! But do not fear, even if you aren’t into baseball, there’s lots of exciting stuff happening this week: Samantha Ronson‘s cameo on “90210”; the premiere of “V,” which is being hailed as the new “Lost”; a new episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County”; and, sigh, the season finale of “Mad Men.”

To me, few things are as sublime as VH1’s trashtastic reality dating shows. I’ve never even slightly gotten the appeal of Bret Michaels on “Rock of Love,” but when I started watching “For the Love of Ray J,” a funny thing happened—I wanted him to be my boyfriend. Not only is Ray J majorly hot—there’s something about his relaxed, no cares in the world attitude that is so, so appealing. At the same time, he seemed genuine, putting his emotions out there. Sadly, things didn’t go so well with his season one choice, and so he is back tonight, starting a whole new quest on season two. Trust me, watch it—it will be amazing TV.

Here’s everything you need to know about Ray J:

If you say the words “sex addiction,” you might get a laugh. The mere thought of someone who is “addicted” to sex is more likely to prompt nervous giggling than nodding compassion. Why? Well, the idea does seem pretty silly—on the surface. Addicted to sex? It sounds more like someone can’t keep their d**k in their pants. The reality of sexual addiction, though, isn’t so funny, not, at least, according to VH1’s new show, “Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.”

Saturday

• “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” on AMC at 10:00 a.m.
• “Ghosthunters” on Syfy at 11:00 a.m.
• “Slumdog Millionaire” on HBO at 12:00 p.m.

Oh, “America’s Next Top Model,” how we wish you were still a good show! Too bad two more people are about to be dragged down by this show. A CW source has revealed that Eddie Murphy (as if he could get any lower after denying he fathered Scary Spice’s baby) will appear alongside Tyra Banks and the other judges during the final fashion show, which will feature designs from Julie Clancy. He won’t be there to judge but rather to cheer on his daughter Bria Murphy, who will walk the runway with the remaining contestants. Bria is following in the footsteps of her mother Nicole Murphy with this career choice. [E! Online]

I’ve had unconventional fictional character crushes for about as long as I can remember. I remember being about 9 years old, snuggled into bed, forehead to forehead, with my friend Julie at a sleepover, while we talked about who we liked. She was all about Arnold Schwarzenegger, his “Kindergarten Cop” and “Terminator.” I, however, was in love with a man in tights. Not Cary Elwes of “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”—that would have made sense. Or even Kevin Costner’s weirdly robotic and bare-assed one. I was about 50 years late to the Errol Flynn (of “in like Flynn”) love fest. In the 1938 version of “The Adventures of Robin Hood,” I loved his cocky grin, the glittering tights, the silver-screen accent, and the sword-fighting. I remember trying to explain this all to Julie (who had no idea whom I was talking about) until she rolled over in disgust at my lack of coolness.

Now, I’m in love with another character on the upright side of the law, and I’m not sure if I’m any cooler, but it does feel way more complicated.

The best address in America has always played host to the cutest and brightest puppets, and now like a grand socialite giving her 40th birthday celebration, the show has created a simply amazing guest list for the upcoming season. Set your DVRs, volunteer to babysit, or call out sick and stay home to watch kids’ TV, because the new episodes, beginning Nov. 10, are going to be awesome ....

You know what’s far, far scarier than any horror movie you could rent this Halloween? The possibility that Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman might be doing a reality television special together where they date. In Touch Weekly reported this week that masochistic producer Bobby Goldstein, who was also behind “Cheaters” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” is working on said special, called “Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom.” It features Jon “as he contemplates what hooking up with Octomom could really be like ... He’s totally creeped out by the idea that if they got married, they’d have 22 kids.” As soon as the story about the show appeared, Jon and Nadya’s reps were quick to send out denials. But several insiders have now told NY Daily News that the show is actually happening. “Jon’s camp got scared because they didn’t expect the story to come out so quickly. They figured they would issue a denial now,” explained one mysterious insider. “Both Jon and Nadya are each looking to bring in at least $1 million for doing the show. Jon definitely wants to do the show.” Goldstein adds that he is currently shopping the show around to networks, to potentially air as a two-hour special on Super Bowl Sunday. Why that day—because together this pair has enough kids to make a football team? Also, will we even remember these two that many months from now? Here’s hoping the answer is a big fat “no!” [NY Daily News]