Did you watch last night’s season finale of “Project Runway”? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’ve been putting off writing about it all day because, well, it was kind of boring. With Carol Hannah, Althea, and Irina competing, it seemed pretty clear that too-cool-for-school Irina was going to take the crown, despite maybe having knocked off her T-shirt from New York Magazine The preview for the episode tried to make it sound interesting by amping up a minor freak-out moment that Tim Gunn had backstage, worrying why everyone wasn’t lined up to get the show started on time. Carol Hannah dealt with her stomach bug. Irina half-accused Althea of stealing one of her ideas. Althea rolled her eyes. As the three women showed their collections, there were definitely some nice things, but, honestly, the only real highlight was seeing Jaslene from “America’s Next Top Model” stomping her bad self down the runway. In the end, Irina won. And it was touching seeing her Eastern European dad, who she’s said multiple times doesn’t think that a woman can make it as a fashion designer, get teary over her success. But all I can say is, I hope next season they figure out how to wake this sleepy series up.

When I read an essay on Double X by Willa Paskin called “General Hospital Is The Most Violent Show On Television,” I got a little sad. “General Hospital” is my show! Or at least it was, until I stopped watching regularly a few years ago, after 15+ years of dedicated viewership. The news that James Franco, celebrated thespian, would be appearing as a thug on the show has made deep thinkers and film aficionados suddenly take notice of the long-running soap. But Paskin did a truly fabulous job of summing up the appeal of “General Hospital”—the reasons why a serious actor like Franco might want to appear on it—and I felt jealous that I hadn’t written it myself.

Yesterday, Oprah’s people announced the big O will be leaving her talk show. No need to get out the smelling salts, though. Her last show isn’t until 2011. Of course, it’s never too early to find a replacement. Who should be the next Oprah? Check out the top six contenders for the Oprah crown. [PopEater]

It’s not often that, before a movie has even opened, thousands and thousands of people have already bought their tickets. But MovieTickets.com says that “New Moon” has broken all their records—it’s earned the number one spot on the company’s list of the top 10 advance ticket sellers of all time, shooting the record held by “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” for five out of the water. Ditto for Fandango. They say that almost half of advance ticket buyers are under the age of 24, and that 87 percent of them are women. [EW]

In honor of the release of “New Moon,” here’s a look at the 10 best vampire movies and TV shows of all time, which you should see immediately. You know, since “New Moon” is sold out, for the next few days anyway.

“True Blood” is about to get even sexier next season. I know, how is that possible? “There’s a lot of nudity,” Alexander Skarsgard (aka Vampire Eric) told RadarOnline.com. “As far as Eric goes, there’s going to be a lot violence and a lot of sex—with women and men! So it should be interesting.” Um, we’re going to get some guy-on-guy action? For those of us who like a little gay porn—not to mention the delectable blood-sucking sexiness of Skarsgard—this sounds tasty. [RadarOnline.com]

And there she is, folks. The winner of “America’s Next Top Model” cycle 13, aka, the shorty season. In last night’s episode, red-headed space case Nicole—who, uh, loves motorcycles and thrill-seeking?—beat out sweet-as-humble-pie Laura, the bull-castrater from Kentucky. Far too many times in this season, Tyra declared that something was happening, “for the first time in ‘Top Model’ history,” as if that were eons and eons. The twist for the finale—instead of three girls doing the Cover Girl photo shoot and commercial, only two made it through to the last episode. I would have questioned this decision since it doesn’t lend itself to maximum drama, except that these were actually my two favorite girls from the season—Nicole, amusing since she perpetually seemed like she had taken too much ritalin, and Laura, adorable showing up to judging in clothes sewed by her grandma.

Last week, Hayden Panettiere announced that she was making the quantum leap to behind the camera, executive producing a new show for the CW called “HMS.” Billed as a younger “Grey’s Anatomy,” the show will be set at Harvard Medical School. We don’t know much more than that about the plot, but we do know that it will make medical school look glamorous and sexy, which we don’t get because hospitals are the least sexy places ever—or they were before a plethora of TV hospital dramas arrived to set our emotions on an IV drip. [ET]

Honestly, I’m not sure this is the best move for Hayden. Prime time seems stacked full of shows where doctors and nurses canoodle and have sex with each other in supply closets, on operating tables, in ambulances, and even in their own homes.

I don’t watch that show “Styl’d” on MTV because 11 p.m. is past my bedtime and I don’t understand why the title has the missing “e” and an odd apostrophe, but I might be interested in seeing a spin-off featuring worst employee ever, Tara. Tara is one of the gals competing for, uh, something (a contract with a stylist’s company or agency?), but she totes hates her boss, despite acting nice to her face. But behind the scenes, in this outtake, Tara licks her boss’s glasses, puts her toothbrush in the toilet, and spits in her orange juice. (After gargling with it! Nice touch!) It’s revolting.

It made me wonder—have any of you ever exacted revenge upon a boss, coworker, or any other enemy with this kind of behavior? I used to work at a coffee shop in college and hated some of my regular customers, but the worst I ever did to them was swap non-fat milk for whole. Fess up, naughty kids!

On last week’s episode of “Project Runway,” resident mean girl Irina Shabayeva was called out for using trademarked images of Coney Island on the silk-screened tees she was planning to show at Bryant Park. Tim Gunn handed down the word from the lawyers and Irina had to soldier on, making new, original tees to keep her New York theme. But Project Rungay bloggers Tom and Lorenzo think the revamped shirt, emblazoned with reasons to love New York, is no better. They’re pretty sure she lifted the phrases on the shirt from New York magazine’s annual “Reasons to Love New York” issue. Phrases like “Because Robert Moses would have a coronary if he could see our streets now” and “Because people will still do crazy things to live here” seem cribbed directly from the issue.

Today’s “Oprah” focused on the porn industry and how more women are watching adult films these days. While the show’s highlight, for me, was seeing journalist Lisa Ling’s reaction as she watched a sex scene being filmed, Oprah’s interview with former porn star Jenna Jameson, who is now retired from the industry, was fascinating, as well. Check out the clip above, where she talks about how many sex partners she’s had and what job she wanted when she was a little girl.

Even though the days are sunny and the air is sweet, things aren’t always perfect on “Sesame Street” … especially in South Africa. There is a new kid on the block there and she’s teaching her neighbors about some of the tough realities of life. Meet Kami (short for the Setswana word “Kamogelo” which means “acceptance”), the 5-year-old, HIV-positive muppet. The cute, yellow girl showed up on “Takalani Sesame” (that’s what it’s called in South Africa) a nervous orphan, afraid that she wouldn’t be accepted because of her disease—but, of course, her neighbors embraced her. And so has the rest of the country. Kami has become a role model in South Africa, providing hope for 28,000 HIV-positive children and 1.4 million orphans and teaching others about the challenges of living with HIV/AIDS. She has even been named a UNICEF ambassador for children. So will Kami be visiting the American “Sesame Street” anytime soon? Not a chance.

MTV’s first foray out of music videos came in 1987, when host Ken Ober launched a hysterical hybrid of sketch comedy meets game show called “Remote Control.” For five seasons, in a studio tricked out to look like his mother’s basement, Kenny carried out his lifelong dream of hosting a game show. Contestants sat in arm chairs with seat belts buckled around them, and got ejected, recliner-style, out the back (with their chairs) when they were eliminated.

Kenny went on to produce “Mind of Mencia” and “The New Adventures of Old Christine,” but has clicked the off button for the final time. He was found dead yesterday at his home in Los Angeles. This loss has us looking back at his debut effort, a show which reshaped a network and shaped us in a lot of ways.

It’s a big, big week for season finales, folks. First, see the toodle-oo to cycle 13 of “America’s Next Top Model,” i.e., the shorty season. Next, find out who’s in and who’s out with the conclusion of “Project Runway.” And finally, get ready for the culmination of the “Seinfeld” reunion on “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” But don’t be sad. You know what they say ... every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end.

“Good morning, Angels.” “Good morning, Charlie.” It’s been a decade since “Charlie’s Angels” was remade for the big screen, starring Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz. And now it looks like it may once again be a weekly TV show. Sony Pictures Television says that it is close to ordering a pilot of the new/old series, to air on ABC. And while there will be no Lucy or Cameron, Drew is a producer, as is original “Angels” co-creator, Leonard Goldberg. The show will be written by Josh Friedman, the dude behind “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” This is slightly awkward timing, considering that Farrah Fawcett just passed away this summer. But we’d definitely watch everyone’s favorite private detectives kick butt for an hour each week. One casting request—Eliza Dushku should definitely take over Jaclyn Smith’s role. She’s a free woman now that “Dollhouse” is canceled. Sigh. [EW]

For years, only six people knew the true identity of Belle, an anonymous call girl who wrote about her adventures in sex work at the blog Diary of a London Call Girl. While her blog became an international hit, she published several books, and Showtime picked up a TV series based on the book called “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” only half a dozen people in the world knew the real Belle! Many assumed the nom de plume concealed a raunchy male identity; one popular theory was that Toby Young, the former Vanity Fair journalist and author of How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, penned the blog and books.

But this weekend, Belle finally outed herself—yes, herself. “There is ... an ex-boyfriend with a big mouth lurking in the background,” the Times of London reported and “outing herself while she still has a measure of control over how it happens seems the sensible option.”

Drumroll, please ...

Saturday

• “The Royal Tanenbaums” on Starz at 10:05 a.m.
• “Practical Magic” on Lifetime at 11:00 a.m.
• “Ancients Behaving Badly” on History at 12:00 p.m.

I don’t know about you, but I was feeling kind of warm and fuzzy inside after Wednesday night’s “Wheels” episode of “Glee.” In case you missed it, the gleeks had to roll around in wheelchairs for three hours a day to be more empathetic toward Artie. The Cheerios accepted a cheerleader with Down’s syndrome. And Kurt auditioned to sing the “Defying Gravity” solo, even though it’s traditionally sung by a woman, for sectionals. The central theme of the episode was inequality and discrimination. While it was glossy in that “Glee” sort of way, I still found it thought-provoking. But not everyone is singing praises about the show. Seems like all the episode did was inspire controversy.

In other words, if you want to live in complete ignorance of a possible plot point in the next season of the HBO show, stop reading now. Remember how Ben, the eldest son, and hot, young step-mom Margene (playing by Ginnifer Goodwin) shared a little smooch last season, after a slow buildup of awkward sexual tension? Well, Goodwin recently said that her character “does something next season that in my own esteem is so horrible that I had trouble even performing it.” Oh dang, what? Well, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, series co-creator Mark V. Olsen hinted about Ben and Margene: “We have flirted for three years with [that] relationship. And this year we finally decided to pay it off.” What does that mean? That Margene and Ben do it? How are they going to pull that off without completely villainizing Goodwin’s character? And what will the other sister-wives say?!

I, like so many of you, relished last week’s season premiere of the “Real Housewives of Orange County,” the original gangsta of Bravo’s “Housewives” franchise. (You know you can’t wait to watch tonight.) But the fact that they aired the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” reunion special beforehand gave me an interesting idea: what if Bravo started their own version of “Wife Swap”? You know, switched the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” with the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” and ... “Watch what happens.” Let Danielle lay down a few tracks in Kandi’s studio. Let Dina and Caroline do a karaoke cover of “Tardy For the Party.” Let Teresa and Kim trade wigs for the week. Have Dwight give Caroline a makeover. Oh, maybe, Dina could take over Sheree’s clothing line for a week? 

• Roger Sterling has the best one-liners on “Mad Men,” so check out this video to learn how to incorporate his insults into your conversation. [F-Listed]—“I just crushed you with the most confident insult ever” is one of my faves.
• Brooke Hundley broke her silence about her affair with former ESPN staffer Steve Phillips, saying she’s been hurt as much as his wife, in an interview on “Good Morning America.” [ABC News]—Maybe, but not as much as Steve’s innocent children.
• The parents of “Balloon Boy,” Richard and Mayumi Heene, will plead guilty to crimes involved in the case, says their lawyer. [WSJ]—What, you mean they don’t want to extend their 15 minutes with a drawn-out trial?