Earlier in the week, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner made the talk show rounds. But with “New Moon” opening tonight at midnight (yes, I’ll be there), it’s time to send out the big gun—Robert Pattinson. Last night, he did “Letterman” and this morning he stopped by “Today.” Check out the clips below.

The above documentary by CBS’s “60 Minutes” discusses the swine flu epidemic of 1976 and the federal government-sponsored inoculations that possibly caused 500 people to get Guillain-Barré syndrome, a neurological disorder that causes the body’s immune system to attack the peripheral nervous system. At first, sufferers feel a tingling sensation in the legs, but weakness and the sensations can spread to the arms and upper body. These symptoms can increase in intensity until certain muscles or the whole body is paralyzed. In extreme cases, the disorder is life-threatening, because the paralysis affects breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure. The patient is often put on a respirator to help with breathing and is watched closely for other problems. The government cut short its vaccination program after 10 weeks because of the public backlash that resulted after 25 people died from Guillain-Barré.

Today’s “Oprah” focused on the porn industry and how more women are watching adult films these days. While the show’s highlight, for me, was seeing journalist Lisa Ling’s reaction as she watched a sex scene being filmed, Oprah’s interview with former porn star Jenna Jameson, who is now retired from the industry, was fascinating, as well. Check out the clip above, where she talks about how many sex partners she’s had and what job she wanted when she was a little girl.

When Muammar Gaddafi went to speak at the U.N. General Assembly in September, he drew controversy—he was protested, shut out of local housing, and his nearly two-hour speech was disparaged in the news. But the Libyan leader may have found a new way to speak his message to the people.

While attending a U.N. global food summit in Rome, Gaddafi reportedly brought some 200 women to a local villa, where he lectured them for two hours about his country and women’s roles in the Islamic faith.

Being an “Early Show” correspondent must be kinda rough. In addition to having to wake up hours before the sun, you have to have big hair and a huge smile plastered on your face at all times, except when you’re delivering a sad story, at which point you have to assume serious face. Oh, and there’s the threat of a beaver accidentally peeing in your eye. Seriously, watch the clip above. [Newser]

Tonight on “20/20,” Elizabeth Vargas will sit down with filmmaker Christie Callan-Jones, whose documentary “Cat Ladies” tells the stories of four cat-loving women, one of whom has 123 living in her house. Viewers will get to go inside the homes of these ultimate cat ladies and learn a little bit about their obsession. Callan-Jones says it’s more than simply caring for a few feline friends; the cats are often symptoms of or salves for other issues. Watch what I think will be a fascinating show (even though I’m a dog lover), at 10 p.m. (EST) on ABC. [ABC News]

So, I’ve been thinking laughing about last night’s Prejean disaster on “Larry King Live.” Is it bad that I keep watching the clip over and over, savoring the slow build of her sickening Palin praise (at least Palin didn’t make a sex tape), her refusal to answer questions about her lawsuit, and, finally, the gay caller who pushed her over the edge before she finally ripped her mic off? It was like watching a buttery Ritz cracker crumble. I can almost picture her internal dialogue: “What would Sarah Palin do? What would Jesus do?” The resounding answer? “Walk out, Carrie! Walk out!”

After the jump, some other television interviews gone terribly wrong.

I love Serena Williams. And I love her even more after watching this clip of her on “The Daily Show” last night, where she teaches Jon Stewart how to dance if he wants to pick up the ladies. (Scoot forward to :45.) She also reveals that she and Venus often have dance-offs. Glad to see the whole U.S. Open line judge incident hasn’t stuck with her. [The Daily Beast]

Rihanna was a guest on “It’s On With Alexa Chung” today, and Alexa was able to give the girl a break by moving the conversation past the domestic violence she experienced at the hands of Chris Brown. Rihanna talks briefly about the spike in calls to domestic abuse hotlines after her “20/20” interview, but then we get to hear about the lighter side of her life—how she chooses her tattoos, what it’s like working with Ne-Yo, and how a fan can get her look. You know, the fun stuff someone her age should be concerned with. I’m sure this interview was a nice reprieve for Rihanna.

Chris Brown sat down with Sway at MTV to discuss his assault of Rihanna on Feb. 8. He tries to portray himself as a changed man who is learning from his actions, even going as far as to say that he knows for certain he’ll never assault another woman and enjoys learning to control his anger in his domestic violence classes. But, I’m sorry to say, he never seems truly remorseful, except when discussing how this has negatively affected his career. He’s hardly humble, saying that his hecklers are just being “ignorant.” And he only pays lip service to the fact that healthy relationships aren’t violent. Towards the end, I got the feeling that Chris still has hopes he and Rihanna will get back together.

You can watch parts two and three of the interview here.

When a couple gets engaged, the first thing people want to know is what the ring looks like, the second is how he proposed. We’ve already seen Emily Blunt‘s engagement ring, and today, John Krasinski told the ladies of “The View” how he asked her to marry him. John’s proposal was old school: “It’s funny, everybody asks me, ‘Did you get on your knee?’ And I’m like, ‘That’s what you do, right?’” Watch him describe it in the above clip! [The View]

Remember, remember the Fifth of November. This was the day that Guy Fawkes was thwarted in his attempt to explode the British Parliament in the 17th Century (and was caught, tortured, and killed). Our friends across the pond celebrate and commemorate with bonfires, burnings in effigy, and such. This side of the pond, I’m promoting anarchy through remembering Natalie Portman in “V for Vendetta.” The movie (based on the comic) imagined a dystopian future where people lived under totalitarian British rule and V attempted to viciously overthrow the vile government through violence. And Natalie shaved her head. Remember, remember ... it was the cutest thing ever ...

You know those stories that are just sad all around, the ones in which no one really wins? The story of former adult actress Janine Lindemulder battling to regain custody of her 5-year-old daughter, Sunny, from Sandra Bullock and Jesse James looks to be one of those stories. Lindemulder was recently released from prison, where she was doing time for tax evasion. Now, she wants custody of her daughter, who has been under the care of Bullock and James. A recent court filing suggests the war over Sunny is getting ugly. The Bullock/James camp points out that Lindemulder is, in addition to being a former porn star, a former substance abuser and a convicted felon. That Lindemulder recently married another convicted felon (who, judging by his tattoos, also looks to be a former gang member) probably doesn’t help her case. It’s hard to imagine that the self-proclaimed broke Lindemulder will have much luck when she goes up against the Hollywood stars’ high-powered legal team. While Sunny may well be better off with her father and step-mother, it’s hard to see a mother fighting for her child, a battle she’ll probably lose because she’s haunted by her tortured past. [GMA]

My favorite “country” music singer, Taylor Swift, will be hosting and performing on “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, and the promo pays tribute to the Kanye West debacle at the MTV Video Music Awards. Yes, this incident was rather amusing and ridiculous, but I’m gonna be a little annoyed if there are multiple references to it during Saturday’s show. A joke can only be funny so many times. (Oh, and Taylor, please sing “Tell Me Why.” I like that one.)

On Thursday’s “Good Morning America” at 7 a.m., Rihanna will publicly break her silence and tell what went down in Chris Brown‘s Lamborghini the night he assaulted her. She’ll follow up that appearance with an interview on “20/20” on Friday at 10 p.m. [Celeb Wohoo]

I wouldn’t get too excited about this interview because Rihanna probably won’t reveal much—she’s had nine months to perfect the PR coaching she was no doubt given. But, we’ll be watching anyway, to find out whether this was an isolated incident or if there was a pattern of physical or emotional abuse before the assault.

We don’t often witness the planning of a wedding from the groom’s perspective. There’s no male equivalent of the bridezilla (though “go-getter grooms” are supposedly on the rise), and the level of involvement of the groom is usually up to him. “Road to the Altar,” a mockumentary-style web series, is different though, taking a funny look into how a guys’ guy navigates the world of wedding planning. It stars Jaleel White as Simon, a 30-something black man who is basically a fish out of water when it comes to planning his wedding to control-freak Rochelle, a Jewish woman in her 30s. Each 5-minute episode centers around whatever major wedding decision—flowers, the band, napkins, etc.—needs to be made and the sheer lunacy Simon feels as he dwells on seemingly minor details (while still trying to get laid). “Road to the Altar” has everything you remember about Jaleel’s character, Steve Urkel, from “Family Matters”—he’s charming, funny, and handsome—except, thankfully, the annoying physical humor and whining.

This weekend, “Nightline” ran a special on everyone’s favorite topic, the insanity of the Church of Scientology. The whole thing was actually pretty boring. (Martin Bashir interviews drive me crazy. Why does he insist on doing the crinkled brow, “I’m really listening to you” thing, followed by repeating what the person just said with faux shock?) Until minute 3:40 of the clip above, where Bashir asks Scientology mouthpiece Tommy Davis (who runs the Celebrity Centre in Hollywood), “Do you believe that a galactic emperor named Xenu brought his people to earth 75 million years ago and buried them in volcanoes?” Davis gets upset. “I am not going to discuss disgusting perversions of Scientology beliefs that can be found commonly on the internet ... If you’re gonna ask me about volcanoes and this kind of thing, I will stand up and walk out.” Which he then does, dramatically throwing off his mic. But wait, I find it interesting that, out of all the nuttiness in that question, he found the part about volcanoes the most insulting? I so don’t get this “religion.” [Gawker]

• Joan Collins is taking British women to task for their lazy grooming on her new makeover show, “Joan Does Glamour.” [Jezebel]—Gosh, I want her accent.
• Emma Thompson has accused Exeter University in Britain of being “too white and middle class” after her adopted son from Rwanda made allegations that he was racially bullied during his time there. [The Daily Mail]
• A sexual assault victim was denied health insurance because she was given anti-AIDS meds after her assault. The insurance company said her taking the medication raised too many health questions. [TrèsSugar]—This makes perfect sense—on Mars.

Jet lag? I think not. In this 2007 interview to promote “ER” in Australia, John Stamos was clearly wasted out of his mind. In fact, the first word out of his mouth was “vodka.” He followed it up by reading the host’s lines off the teleprompter and making crude gestures. Two years later, John is finally admitting that he was in fact on sleeping pills and also just plain ol’ “plastered” in this clip. Duh. Well, at least he’s not a real doctor. [Celebitchy]

After the jump, some more of our favorite under-the-influence television appearances. Whether the stars admit it or not.