Thanksgiving does not officially begin until the national news media gathers outside the White House for the pomp-and-circumstance of the president not murdering a poor, defenseless bird. This year’s lucky turkey is Popcorn from Badger, Minnesota, who, loves to eat corn and dances to Beyoncé’s “Halo,” according to the White House blog. Even less enthusiastic about being there than the media standing out the the cold were Sasha and Malia Obama. They have the look all over their faces that they are getting too old for this shit. [NBC Washington] [Image via Getty]
You know what is just the worst? When pregnant ladies go out in public. Yeah, their selfless maternal giving and their miracle of life — it is really not something other people should have to watch. Please, shield us from the inhumanity. Keep reading »
A brothel filled with men for female customers? We’re listening … It turns out the call comes from an anti-poverty group in Turkey demanding that legal, state-run brothels practice gender equality. The campaigners from Sefkat Der accuse the Turkish government of condoning “sex slavery,” and as a ploy to fight prostitution in general, are daring them to open a brothel that caters to women. After all, the brothels filled with women get over 5,000 male customers a day. “They say men need sex and they need to go to brothels. But on the other hand, they are not accepting the principles of gender equality,’” said one of the campaigners. Keep reading »
Seriously, could NASA get any cooler? They’re landing rovers on Mars, mapping out the galaxy, and studying dark energy, all while rocking star-spangled mohawks. The folks over at Gizmodo were curious to see how those zany NASA scientists might use their high tech toys to cook a turkey this Thanksgiving. The resulting recipes, drawn up by illustrator Josh McKible, will definitely come in handy in the event your oven breaks tomorrow and you must make do with nothing more than some aluminum-coated kapton and an R-2000 Rotopod. Click here to see more diagrams and get the full recipes (one of which requires 12,000 turkeys and a Thermal Vac Chamber). And NASA, we don’t say it enough, but we are so, so thankful for you! [Gizmodo]
While you might be tempted to fill up on amazing vegetables, stuffing and mashed potatoes, save room for the main course – protein! Click on for amazing holiday-worthy turkey, pork roast, rib roast, and ham recipes that would be perfect for your Thanksgiving dinner. Sorry, vegetarians, nothing for you to see here.
I’ve often contemplated the best way of combining my love of turkey with my love of donuts. And finally! Some industrious genius has done just that — with the TurDunkin’, a combo Thanksgiving turkey and sweet donut treat. The turkey is stuffed with bacon and Munchkins stuffing and then basted with donut glaze. It’s then coated in donut sprinkles and served alongside coffee gravy and mashed hash browns (to get the full breakfast turkey effect). We’re really thinking we might have to try this at our next Thanksgiving dinner. [Unwholesome Foods] Keep reading »
Some prefer their turkey day drunkenness to transpire on the couch with a dozen relatives and a football game. Others prefer their alcohol shot directly in the bird. Georgi Vodka and several New York City restaurants have infused a turkey with five different types of vodka and prepared a 100-proof vodka gravy to serve on the side. The flavors of peach, cherry, orange, lemon and apple vodka render this recipe slightly less disgusting, but not by much. Keep reading »