Tag Archives: trust

David Schwimmer Directs A Movie About A Rape

When I heard that David Schwimmer had directed a movie premiering at the Toronto Film Festival, I assumed it would be a humorous documentary about paleontologists or a romantic comedy about a guy named Russ who’s in love with a woman named Bachel. But I was surprised to see that Schwimmer’s movie is neither of the above. In fact, “Trust” is about maybe the last topic I would’ve guessed Schwimmer would be interested in—rape. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Signed Up For A Cheating Site”

I have been with my boyfriend for four years and although I love him with my whole heart, I have a problem: he signs up for online dating sites. I recently found out he signed up for a guest membership to a popular cheating website. When I confronted him he said he wasn’t doing anything wrong because he was just curious and just looking and didn’t plan on actually meeting/chatting with anyone on the site. This, of course, led to a huge fight with him asking me why I didn’t trust him. I tell him that it makes me feel belittled and disrespected when he signs up for these sites, and like he really isn’t happy with me. When I asked him what he’d think if I signed up for a site like that, his response was he wouldn’t care because he trusts me. He tells me he loves me, and has and will never cheat on me, and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But he continues to sign up and visit these websites and I don’t know what to do. — No Webmaster Needed

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Dear Wendy: “How Can I Ask For A Threesome?”

I’m in a wonderful relationship with a great man that I plan on marrying one day. I’m 20 and he’s 26, but it’s not our age difference that’s the problem. You see, I have this fantasy of being with more than one guy at once. I’m not a whore, slut, hooch or any of that business. It just turns me on to be treated like a sex toy. The only issue is I have no idea how to bring it up with my boyfriend, whom I’m madly in love with, and I’m not sure how he would react. It’s not that he’s not enough for me; I think he’s absolutely amazing in bed. I’m just super curious and would like to try once. How would you advise I bring this up with him? — Curious

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Women Become Less Trusting When They Take Testosterone Pills

I happen to be very trusting of strangers—I trust that they are trying to screw with me, every chance that they get. But apparently, this is a very male trait—testosterone-packed dudes are not only gifted with strength and aggression, but also cynicism. In a study conducted at Cape Town University, 24 women around the age of 20 were given either testosterone or dummy pills and asked to rate the trustworthiness of strangers’ faces on a scale of -100 to +100. Those who ingested the testosterone pill judged the photos an average of 5% less trustworthy. Testosterone is believed to better prepare a person for competition, the ability to fight for resources, and to “watch their back” for danger. Taking the hormone made the women less open to deception and more vigilant in general. The scientists suggest that, historically, it’s been beneficial for women to be cooperative for survival. But now that we live in this sick, sad world, it might benefit us to pick up some of these testosterone traits. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Is There Trust After Cheating?

I recently found out that my boyfriend had been sleeping with his married boss. I always had suspicions about their “friendship” and little details just started to come together, making the puzzle whole. Even though he denied it at first, he finally admitted to the infidelity. He said that that last time he slept with her was when we first started casually dating and he hasn’t since then. I really like him, may even love him, but how do I trust him now, especially when he’s around her all of the time? His place of employment is not just a job to him, but a career, so he’s afraid he’ll lose his job if anyone found out, which is his excuse for initially lying to me about it. I want to work through this, but I don’t know how I can trust him anymore. — Trustless

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Girl Talk: I Wanted To Be Dominated

I texted him as soon as I woke up.

“What do you want me to wear today?”

I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back.

“White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo.”

I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment’s hallway. Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my iPhone and sent it to Ben*.

Thirty seconds later, a text message: “Very nice.” Then I knew I could leave for work.

Ben was not abusive. I was not being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship — or playing at one, anyway — and following his orders got me unbelievably, unbelievably turned on. Keep reading »

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