Tag Archives: true story

True Story: I Was Stalked By A Random Dude And My Friends Laughed About It

True Story: I Was Stalked By A Random Dude And My Friends Laughed About It

Last week, I had a stalker experience that left me feeling very uneasy. I frequent a Starbucks about a mile away from my house and sometimes just spend the entire day there writing. On one particular afternoon, a young man came into the cafe. I just happened to look up at that same exact moment and we made eye contact. I politely smiled, then returned to my work.

The following day, I was walking my dog on my street, when a very familiar guy approached me.

“Hey, what’s your dog’s name?” he questioned.

“Um, it’s Sam,” I responded casually then noticed his face look very familiar.

“Hey, didn’t I see you yesterday at Starbucks?” I asked the stranger. He haphazardly nodded, responded, “Yeah, I think so.” Then we both said goodbye and parted ways.

I didn’t think too much of it at first. I figured the guy just happened to live on my street. A coincidence, right? That was until I got home and checked my Facebook inbox and noticed one unread message in my “other” folder. Keep reading »

True Story: I Dated A Sociopath (And I Liked It)

True Story: I Dated A Sociopath (And I Liked It)

I spent most of my late teens and twenties the way a lot of girls/women do, flip-flopping between the guy who couldn’t find his self-esteem with a military-issued navigational system and the guy who was so self-centered he never went down on me without expecting six blowjobs in return. When I hit 30, I needed a change. Then I met James.

I had written prolifically online about my love life, especially the failures. And from the beginning, I knew James had read it all. I didn’t think much about it until I noticed how often our goals, beliefs, and sexual proclivities matched up. I thought I had hit the jackpot. How did I find the one guy who not only believed in handwritten love letters, but also had no problem fucking me so hard I couldn’t walk for two days? He was handsome, brilliant, and had that Old Hollywood charm. He seemed perfect. Too perfect. Seeing as I was not a delusional Disney Princess, that made me examine things more closely. Keep reading »

True Story: I’m Freezing My Eggs

True Story: I'm Freezing My Eggs

“If you want to have kids you’d better do it while you’re young. The women in our family go through menopause early — 38 to be exact. Your grandmother? 39.”

My mother said that to me every few weeks from the moment I started menstruating until I hit 30. But at 25, I was more concerned with drink specials than finding someone special. During my monthly fertility chats with Mom, I’d internally puff up and congratulate myself for not being into all that conventional crap.

I was the cool chick. The one who didn’t need a boyfriend and didn’t want to get married and lived in a big, bad city and focused on work and traipsed about to parties; soaking up new experiences and bad dating stories like a weathered Army vet with a killer hangover. This was my identity and I loved every second of it. Keep reading »

True Story: Someone I Love Told Me He Thinks Women Lie About Rape

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I have an ongoing joke with two of my close friends, about a Tumblr we’re going to create called “I’m Disappointed in You.” It will include a variety of things people — most of whom we thought knew better — have done which lowered them in our esteem. Examples will include deliberately racist comments, fat shaming, heterosexism, anti-feminist nonsense … you get the idea. It’s a joke, but it’s based on a feeling I’m sure we’re all familiar with.

A few weeks ago, I was startled by the kind of disappointment that can only come from someone you love and trust. I wish I remember what started this conversation,  but suddenly a man who has done an excellent job of loving me for almost 20 years said to me, “I think that if there are 10 women who say they’ve been raped, eight of them are telling the truth, and two of them are probably lying.” Keep reading »

True Story: I’m A Woman Who Gets “Man Flu”

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As a child, I was sick with relative frequency. I remember returning to third grade after a month off with mono, several pounds lighter, and my skin pale from lack of exposure to sun. As I walked in, all Colin from The Secret Garden, the bitchiest girl in the class announced “You’re, like, always sick.”

It had occurred to me that I was sick more often than my peers. True, my mother had a fairly lenient stay-home-from-school policy, but by the time I was 10, I’d had mono, bronchitis, pneumonia, an ongoing bladder reflux issue and several sinus infections. My sisters are the same way. We’re evolutionarily weak. Whatever.

One might posit that having two orthopedic surgeries and a few viral and bacterial infections would foster some stoicism around unwellness. Well, one would be wrong. Practice, in my case, does not make perfect. When I’m ill, I’m a nightmare. Keep reading »

True Story: I Tried No-Fap And It Sucked (For Me)

FGSG: Masturbation
Funny Girl Sex Guide: Debunking Some Female Masturbation Myths
In this episode, I debunk a few female masturbation myths. Read More »
Anti-Masturbation
Why the anti-masturbation movement is good for men and women. Read More »
Masturbation Flowchart
Is now a good time to masturbate? Read More »
True Story: I Tried No-Fap And It Sucked (For Me)

This month, Tim Ferriss of The 4-Hour Work Week and a bunch of his dude readers are going without booze and masturbation in order to up their testosterone levels and be, um, greater in general, I guess. I don’t currently possess the aversion to Tim Ferriss as a human being that the incredibly witty Samantha Allen does (my attitude is somewhere along the lines of “Who? Oh yeah, him”), but I am, at least, very skeptical about this no-masturbation-as-leveling-up thing.

No-masturbation challenges abound on the internet, not least of all in /r/NoFap, where I originally came across the concept. Their no-masturbation argument goes something like Ferriss’s spiel: If you quit jacking off, you’ll be more productive, your testosterone levels will increase and your interpersonal relationships will improve (they’re fuzzy on what that means). The no-fap pitch tends to be heavy on the science, but it’s not great science — even Your Brain On Porn, on which NoFap relies for a lot of its information, has noted that masturbation does not cause a decrease in testosterone levels, and although doctors agree that orgasms from sex and orgasms from masturbation are different and there are risks to compulsive masturbation, they have more to do with chafing and addiction than endocrine levels. Keep reading »

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