Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo has cracked up “South Park” fans with his juvenile sense of humor since, oh, forever. But it’s time to for him to step it up for a serious reason now: rectal cancer. That’s why Michelle L. Dobrawsky, a lawyer/comedian, started a campaign for Mr. Hanky to become the official spokesman — sorry, “spokesturd” — of the cancer from which she suffers. Rectal cancer has “a big ol’ marketing problem,” Dobrawsky writes in an open letter to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the “South Park” creators. “Imagine the day when Mr. Hankey’s earthy brown visage is slapped onto every ribbon, T-shirt, electric mixer, lipstick, football helmet, mouth guard, sneaker, toaster, stapler and every other endorsable, colorable product in the world!” You forgot Mr. Hanky underwear, Michelle!
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