It’s a shockingly awesome week for movie-going. Maybe it’s a back-to-school gift to the kiddies? Or an end-of-summer peacemaker? Maybe I’m just in a really good mood and these are actually craptastic movies. Whatever is going on, I’m into it. This week’s movies also cover a huge spectrum of the human experience so no matter what mood you’re in, you’ll probably be psyched. This week, go see “Going the Distance,” “The American,” “Machete,” “The Winning Season,” “Suck,” “Last Train Home,” or “Prince of Broadway.” If you hate them, I’ll totally give you a refund. But not really. Keep reading »
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Trailer Park: “Takers,” “The Last Exorcism,” “The Tillman Story,” “Daniel And Ana,” “Centurion”
It’s that dark time of year when you know the summer’s end is just around the bend. And of course the movies this week are particularly bleak. There’s a lot of robbing, murdering, blood, death, possession, and other unspeakable things. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to the movies because it’s going to be a bummerfest, though—there’s still lots of action and adventure and human emotion. Just not the funny kind! Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “The Switch,” “Lottery Ticket,” “Vampires Suck,” “Piranha 3D”
We’re just a few weeks away from September, which is terrifying because where the hell did the time go? But also nice because all the hooligans will be back in school and, at least between the hours of 8 and 3 p.m., the streets will be safe. And the movie theaters and malls will be empty and the beaches pristine and quiet. Not that anything cool ever happens before 3 p.m. anyway, but it’s somehow comforting that the kids will be at their desks, filling their little minds with knowledge. This has nothing to do with movies really, except that now you can go to matinees and there won’t be anyone throwing popcorn at the back of your head. Probably. This week, go catch “The Switch,” “Lottery Ticket,” “Piranha 3D,” or “”Nanny McPhee Returns.” Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “Eat Pray Love,” “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World,” “The Expendables,” “Animal Kingdom”
I know it’s gotten really hard to get to the movie theater, because there’s pay-per-view, DVDs and the amazingness of Netflix, which make it possible to watch dozens of movies for the price of one in the theater. So, I won’t blame you if you don’t go. But you should probably know that every time you buy a bootleg DVD instead of going to a movie theater, they shoot a production assistant. I’ve seen it happen. It’s brutal. So, if you want to save a PA this week, you can go see “Eat Pray Love,” “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World,” “The Expendables,” “Animal Kingdom,” or “Tales From Earthsea.” Be nice. Save a PA. Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “The Other Guys,” “Step Up 3D,” “Twelve,” “Middle Men”
Somehow the summer has already started slipping through our fingers but until it’s all gone, it’s really important to give yourself a break! And there are really few better ways to get that than to curl up in a movie theater … I mean, assuming that island vacation is not within your budget. This week, get outside your head with “The Other Guys,” “Step Up 3D,” “Twelve” and “Middle Men.” Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “Dinner For Schmucks,” “Charlie St. Cloud,” “The Extra Man,” “The Dry Land”
It’s a very rare thing that I want to see all the movies that are coming out, especially since there are some seriously craptastic things being produced these days. And as this summer fades in to autumn’s chill, you’re running out of time to take advantage of the long days and sweat-soaked nights. Spend an afternoon in the sun and then soak up all the AC your pores can hold in the darkness of a movie theater. This week, you can choose from “Dinner for Schmucks,” “Charlie St. Cloud,” “The Extra Man,” “The Dry Land” and “Spoken Word.” Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “Salt,” “Ramona And Beezus,” “Life During Wartime,” “Countdown To Zero”
When you’re still in school, the summer seems to arch into this glorious never-ending sunset; while in adulthood, it’s more like a few months where it’s a bit hotter and maybe you drink slightly more often. This is why you have to take miniature vacations for yourself, despite the fact that you might not have enough money to actually go anywhere. Movies are my solution because it’s good to get out of my head sometimes and it’s a helluva lot safer than a lobotomy. This week, “Salt,” “Ramona and Beezus,” “Life During Wartime,” and “Countdown to Zero” are your mind vacation options. Don’t forget to pack snacks! Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “Inception,” “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” “The Concert,” “Kisses,” “Valhalla Rising”
Now that the summer has really set in, you’re probably changing three times a day because you’ve already sweat through your last ensemble. If you’re like me, you’re psyched for fall when all the ragamuffins are back in school and you can pull your sweaters out of their moth balls. But right now, it’s too hot to eat. Or sleep. Or roll over and turn on the fan. But it’s not too hot to see a movie. And this week, you’ve totally got to see “Inception.” And also “The Concert” and “Kisses.” And maybe even “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” I don’t really care if you see “Valhalla Rising” or not though, ’cause that one looks creepy. Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “Predators,” “Winnebago Man,” “Despicable Me,” “The Girl Who Played with Fire”
I guess it’s been a crazy heatwave in the rest of the country, while it’s a chilly 64 degrees out here in Los Angeles. So, while I go to movies two to three times a week because I’m addicted to them, you guys are probably desperate for an escape from the heat. But I shouldn’t have to tempt you with air-conditioning and delicious buttery popcorn to get you to a movie. Some of this week’s movies are decades in the making and deserve some attention! There are a lot of slightly to very terrifying films on the roster, including “Predators,” “The Girl Who Played with Fire,” and “[REC] 2″ and there are two slightly less scary, more hilarious movies with “Winnebago Man” and “Despicable Me,” which I totally thought came out last week. Whoops! Keep reading »
Trailer Park: “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,” “The Last Airbender,” “The Kids Are All Right”
Happy 4th of July weekend, bubbelehs! I know you’ve probably got BBQs, drinking, and fireworks to attend to, but after all that hot summer fun partying, you’ll probably need a rest. And where better to chill that sunburn than in a dark and chilly movie theater? This week, the “Twilight” saga continues with “Eclipse.” Also, there’s some 3-D fun with “Despicable Me” and “The Last Airbender,” whore house drama in “Love Ranch,” and a sperm-donor-and-lesbian-couple reunion in “The Kids Are All Right.” So, when all the punch and pigs-in-a-blanket have run out, hit up your local cinema for some recuperation. Keep reading »
