Tag Archives: traditional relationships

Study: Wedding Traditions Are Changing Sloooowly

wedding cake topper 060414

Weddings may be full of age-old “rules,” but according to a new poll, views on strong-held nuptial traditions are slowly changing. A new Harris Poll surveyed 2,300 Americans this April to find out where they stand on old-school ideas about how heterosexual weddings are supposed to go down. Marriages might be changing, but weddings? Not so fast. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Want To “Save Marriage”? Stop Telling Women What To Do

marriage-conservative

Conservatives’ stance on marriage hasn’t ever much suited me. The so-called value they profess the loudest is “Preserving And Protecting Traditional Marriage” — it sat at number one atop the 2012 GOP platform — and is of course coded language for marriage between a man and a woman.

Their PR strategy for pushing traditional marriage is pretty firmly focused on accusing LGBTQ couples of not being “natural.” Obviously this boner for “saving marriage” is just a cover for bigotry towards LGTBQ folks. But having recently gotten married — to a man — I’m noticing more and more how conservatives meddle in heterosexual marriage, too.

Ladies, you haven’t won the game just because you have a ring on your finger!  You are also probably doing something wrong right this minute!

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Shakira On Her Boyfriend: “He No Longer Lets Me Do Videos With Men”

“He’s very territorial, and since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women. It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question – which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”

This is Shakira in Billboard, revealing that she had to ask her boyfriend Gerard Piqué for PERMISSION to film her music video “Can’t Remember To Forget You” with Rihanna. And it seems the Rihanna duet wasn’t just an artistic choice; it was a necessity, as Piqué “no longer lets” Shakira film music videos with men. (The couple reportedly met while filming a music video together.) For the love of Beyoncé, please let there be something lost in translation here! [Billboard [Photo: Getty]

The Soapbox: On Lori Gottlieb, “Egalitarian” Relationships And Sexual Passion

The author Lori Gottlieb markets herself as a teller of harsh relationship truths for women. As a contributor to The Atlantic, she saw her 2008 piece “Marry Him!” turned into a full-fledged book in which she advocates that women abandon long lists of qualities marriageable men need to have and marry Mr. Good Enough before their biological clock ticks its last tock. (I interviewed Gottlieb about Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough back in 2011.)

Gottlieb, who is also a psychotherapist, is back with a new controversial subject in The New York Times Magazine: how trying to be completely egalitarian in our relationships may be taking the passion out of our sex lives. Keep reading »

Republican Politician Cites Bible, Writes That Wives Should Submit To Husbands

todays lady news
  • Last month, Republican Representative Steve Pearce of New Mexico published a memoir in which he wrote about his Biblical belief that a wife should “submit” to her husband as part of her “obedience to the Lord.” [Huffington Post]
  • In remembrance of today being the 41st anniversary of the Supreme Court’s Roe vs. Wade decision effectively legalizing abortion, Cosmopolitan spoke with four couples about how having an abortion changed their relationship. [Cosmopolitan]
  • Meanwhile, the Washington Post interviewed two young women who are anti-abortion activists. And they put it in the Style section! [Washington Post] Keep reading »

Frisky Q&A: Emily Matchar, Author of Homeward Bound: Why Women Are Embracing The New Domesticity

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QA Emily Matchar Homeward Bound

One upon a time, the phrase “domestic diva” referred to Martha Stewart and stereotypes of 1950′s housewives. But you may have noticed recently that all your friends are knitting and growing their own kale. Your cousin is raising chickens in her backyard. Your mom is making her own pickles and selling them on Etsy. And everyone is wondering why you aren’t baking your own bread yet.  (“It’s so easy!”)  Congratulations, you have been hit by New Domesticity, an aughties phenomenon in which traditional homemaking tasks experience a revival in the hopes of saving money, eating fresher, improving health, and cutting the government out of your personal life.

Journalist Emily Matchar always loved reading blogs, especially the do-it-yourself (DIY) and homesteading genres. She was surprised to see a lot of middle-class professionals, including Third and Forth Wave feminists (not the likeliest group to embrace washing their laundry by hand), taking on pioneer woman-style chores and calling it a feminist choice. Matchar got curious what was going on. Why would people milk their own cows if they could just buy milk at the store?  Why would parents refuse to vaccinate their children? Were women who quit their jobs to devote themselves full-time to growing nearly all their family’s food could really be serious? Quickly Matchar fell down a rabbit hole where answers only lead to more questions.  There are liberal Earth mamas, conservative Mormon housewives and even some pioneering dudes who read the same blogs about DIY homemaking tips — and they are everywhere. In her new book, Homeward Bound: Why Women Are Embracing The New Domesticity speaks to a bunch of these folks and paints a fascinating portrait of this new twisty-turn in feminism.

I spoke with Matchar over the phone in Hong Kong, where she is currently living about New Domesticity, traditional gender roles, and the pleasures of breaking your bed. (Apparently, it really is so easy.)  Our conversation, after the jump:

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