A woman in Tampa got a third breast cosmetically added to her chest à la “Total Recall,” and that would be cool enough on its own, but her motivation makes it even better: “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore.”
YAAAASSSSSSS ALL HAIL JASMINE TRIDEVIL! Keep reading »
Let’s start with the good: Jessica Biel‘s subtle, glowy makeup at the NYC “Total Recall” premiere is gorgeous and ethereal, her hair is as close to perfection as it can get with the distracting fringe, love the reptile pumps, and that ring must have cost a grand heap of “Sexy Back” royalties. This look almost — almost — gets it so right, but she had to go and make a goddamn travesty of a lovely dress by throwing on an inexplicable matching lace cape! Whyyyyy, Jessica? Did JT insist? Are you taking a page out of Natalie‘s book and getting married beneath a chuppah directly after the premiere, which would explain the need for covered shoulders? Were you just cold? How cold? Was Colin Farrell cold, too? Do tell.
Tuesday night, Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale showed up for the premiere of their new movie, “Total Recall.” I say new movie, but it’s really a redux of the ’90s classic, which starred Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Several of my friends are “Total Recall” purists, and refuse to see the new one, but whatever, it stars Colin Ferrell, and he’s great. What’s not so great? Jessica Biel’s pocketful Christian Dior dress. It’s slightly boxy, and the retro shape doesn’t really work on her. Plus? There are weird pockets on the boobs, which I suppose are great if you’re constantly losing your keys or something, but they just add to the wrongness of this silhouette. Kate Beckinsale, though? She looks incredible in this snake print-y Armani Privé. Total Hollywood glamor. Yup Jessica, let Kate show you how it’s done.