Holy hotness—Johnny Depp is on the cover of Vanity Fair that’s coming out tomorrow. And this dude really can’t get enough of the Caribbean. After filming three movies there, in 2004, he decided to buy his own private island in the Bahamas. Depp and his family bask in the sun on Little Hall’s Pond Cay Island, which has six beaches. Three are named after members of Johnny’s family, another is called “Brando,” and yet another is “Gonzo” after his idol and friend, Hunter S. Thompson. Johnny likes to keep things in the family. His 156-foot yacht is dubbed Vajoliroja—a word made-up of syllables of his family’s names.

Interestingly, many celebs own private islands. I guess they need somewhere paparazzi-free to escape from all the parties, premieres, and their own fabulousness? Here are a few celebs that sunbathe in solitude.

I consider myself a bit of a celebrity sex tape connoisseur. Watching celebrities have sex for real, kind of reminds me that they’re human, just like the rest of us. Seeing celebrities use the toilet would probably have the same effect, but it’s not as fun. Anyway, here are the top eight you should really know about, where you might find them if they were carried in a video store, and some key tidbits in order to increase your potential to be a good dinner party guest. Because people LOVE to talk about celebrity sex tapes over tuna casserole, trust me.

1. “One Night In Paris” starring Paris Hilton & Rick Solomon
Where To Find It: Next to “The Blair Witch Project”, filed under “night vision goggles” and “totally overrated.”
Best Scene: Paris literally texts away on her Sidekick while Solomon has his way with her.

“For some reason, Tommy has me Google Alerted.”—Pamela Anderson on her on-again-off-again ex, Tommy Lee

MUSIC

Tommy recently told Rolling Stone, “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me…. It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.” [Las Vegas, 8/19/95]

Gwyneth Paltrow got a “C” tattooed on her thigh, Cindy Adams reported in today’s New York Post. That’s “C” for Chris Martin and Coldplay. I don’t understand getting a tattoo in honor of a significant other—a blood relative, maybe (after all, you’re already stuck with them forever). Perhaps this is a highly pessimistic opinion, but I think getting tattooed with someone’s name almost guarantees the relationship won’t last, as a few celebs have learned…