No wonder so many gross young people are grossly using social media on the toilet without realizing it is gross: we as a society are literally training them to do so. Yes, my flabbergasted friends, this is a child’s potty affixed with an iPad stand so toddlers can play Toca Kitchen Monsters while they’re doing their business. The loo comes with a removable touchscreen, so little hands don’t get their little germs all over Mommy and Daddy’s expensive toy. Wow, this makes you wonder how did any of us ever get potty trained without a tricked-out potty? (Oh, wait, no, it doesn’t.) [Consumerist]
Kyle Cummings, a three-year-old boy from Queensland, Australia, was delighted to find a pile of eggs in his backyard, so he did what any toddler would do: he scooped them up and stashed them in his closet. Three days later, his mother discovered the not-so-delightful result of her son’s curiosity, when seven eastern brown snakes–the second most venomous snake in the world–came slithering out. Luckily the newborn snakes were not big enough to inflict dangerous bites (the amount of venom in one bite from an adult brown snake is enough to kill 20 people), and a wildlife group was able to capture the snakes and release them back into the wild. In the understatement of the year, Kyle’s mother, Donna Sims describes her reaction to finding a deadly snake nest in her home: ”I was pretty shocked, particularly because I don’t like snakes.” Shudder. [BBC News]
The moment in a child’s life when he or she learns about genitalia is a precious one, second only to the moment when they realize everybody poops. I know it is weird, but I can still remember when I learned that my older brother had a penis and I didn’t. This little girl Bailey just found out that Daddy has a penis and Mommy doesn’t. She’s still a bit confused about Grandma, however. At least Bailey is learning the real words and not “wee wee” and “hoo hoo,” which drive me crazy. [HyperVocal]
The “Project Runway” crew is a lot less irascible when they’re two feet tall and pooping in their Pull-Ups. Every episode of “Project Runway” should be done with toddlers, damn it. But I have one problem: Where’s baby Nina Garcia?! Maybe she’s off making bitchy comments on the potty. [Babelgum] Keep reading »
And now for the latest in vomit-inducing trends: personal shoppers for toddlers. Over in the U.K., the Daily Mail reports that big-time department stores like Harrods and Harvey Nichols have come to specialize in the growing field of baby fashion, which has mothers clamoring for tiny Uggs, miniature Dior blazers, and Fendi scarves. These moms, however, don’t want to deal with the oh-so onerous task of dressing their kids themselves, so they’ve enlisted the services of personal shoppers at sky-high prices—Harrods clients must spend a minimum of about $4,000.
What does a mom get out of one of these style consultations? Here’s an excerpt where a stylist advises a black sequin mini-dress: “This is fabulous, but we’ll have to see how the color works — that complexion is begging for pinks and purples.” Naturally. Who are these people? Keep reading »
A three-year-old saved her pregnant mom’s life by calling 911 and giving the dispatcher details about her house and other landmarks all because her mom had made up a song called “911 green” that the toddler learned the week before. (The title comes from the fact that to call 911 on a cell phone, you have to press the three numbers and then the green button. From what I’ve found, the lyrics of the song are simply, “911 green, 911 green.” But there might be a remix coming out in the next month or so.) [AP] Keep reading »
A new study from Lehigh University found that it doesn’t matter how often mothers argue with their toddlers — like so much in life, quality is more important than quantity. So, what makes a “quality” argument? Both people justifying their opinions and then reaching a compromise without anyone insisting on their particular point of view without explaining it, teasing, or engaging in other negative behavior. This is good to remember when fighting with people who may no longer be toddlers but still act like them. [NLM] Keep reading »