Oh, hey, I didn’t think you felt uncomfortable enough this morning so I wanted to show you this: ”pageant glitz retouching” for little girls for beauty pageants. Available on Etsy.com for only $15 a pop, your toddler can go from “before” to “after” with makeup, stray on tan, smoothed skin, highlights and teeth whitening. The “glitz” option morphs your four-year-old into a 17-year-old girl for that “Toddlers & Tiaras” filming. Or anywhere else frosted lipstick is “in” for kindergarteners. [Etsy.com]
I’ve seen every incarnation of the “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” trailer, as I’m eagerly awaiting the forthcoming TLC show (premiering tomorrow night!), which features Alana from “Toddlers & Tiaras” and her clan. I’ve accepted her family’s nicknames (Sugar Bear’s not such a bad thing to be called), pondered the purpose of tummy jiggling (it’s fun!) and tried to understand how mud pit diving works (kind of like swimming?). But now that the extended one minute and three second trailer for the show is out, I have some serious questions about the Boo Boos (whatever the family’s real last name is, I am choosing to refer to them as the Boo Boos). Please help me understand the following: Keep reading »
The preview for TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” featuring “a dollar makes me holler” Alana and her family, is upon us. We already know the go-go juice guzzling beauty queen and her gaseous mother June from “Toddlers & Tiaras,” but we have much to learn about the rest of her Georgia clan. Here’s what we know so far: They like to jiggle their tummies, are into competitive mud diving, may have a lice infestation, have all their teeth and have names like Sugar Bear, Pumpkin, Chubbs and Chickadee. Oh, and they are NOT rednecks. Or are they? The August 8th premiere can’t come soon enough. Check out the preview after the jump. Keep reading »
Put a flipper in her and call her a reality star, because “Toddlers & Tiaras’” Alana (aka Honey Boo Boo Child) is getting her own show. Ms. Alana’s spinoff — working title “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” — will be coming to TLC late this summer and will follow Alana in her pageant pursuits and her day-to-day life in rural Georgia doing normal things like picking up roadkill for the family cookout. Best part: The show will also feature family members like belching mom, June Shannon, chalk-mining dad, Sugar Bear, and sisters Lauryn “Pumpkin,” Jessica “Chubbs,” and Anna “Chickadee.” OMG yessssss, please! Congrats to our little tummy-squeezing, dollar-hollering, Go-Go juice guzzling spirit animal muse ! There are various celebrations going on here in the Frisky office. I am playing with my stomach fat as we speak. But dare I say it? What about Makenzie? [Us Weekly]
In a recent interview with CBS Atlanta, Eden Wood either OD’d on Pixie Sticks (aka pageant crack) or she was hitting the Go-Go Juice on the sly. Her Momager claims Go-Go Juice is not an issue in their house, but I’m, not so certain. The segment to promote her new Logo reality show, “Eden’s World” didn’t go quite as planned. Eden’s cringeworthy highlights include: An unintentional Liza Minnelli impression, an impromptu rap about her reality show, the phrase “Blah, blah, blah … birdy feet” apropos of nothing, repeating everything her mother said (including “Do we need to have a come to Jesus meeting?”), shooting imaginary gun at the camera. All joking aside, in my estimation, this kid is crying out for help. Check out the video after the jump! [Buzzfeed]
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After Round One of March Madness, it seems that our fair friend Rush Limbaugh trounced his conservo-pal Kirk Cameron. He beat Cameron in the crazy competition by nearly 6 to 1. Rush’s anti-woman, anti-slut diatribes now go up against our favorite honey boo-boo child, Alana, the Go-Go Juice chugging beauty pageant tyke from “Toddlers and Tiaras.” Rush would no doubt be disgusted by Alana’s antics, and Alana would likely be completely immune to Rush’s taunts (whatever you say about her, she does have insanely high self-esteem). But whose existence is more mind-boggling? More utterly confusing and bewildering? Vote!
Who's The Craziest: Rush Limbaugh Or Alana From "Toddlers And Tiaras"?
- Rush Limbaugh's slut-shaming is the ultimate in crazy talk! (74%, 467 Votes)
- Alana and her go-go juice steamroll the competition! (26%, 165 Votes)
Total Voters: 632
In one corner, there is Alana, the breakout star of this season of “Toddlers and Tiaras.” Alana’s signature phrase is “honey boo boo child,” but she’ll also let you know that “a dollar makes me holler.” Her mom, Coupon Queen June, keep Alana perpetually doped up on a probably-illegal-in-some-states mix of Mountain Dew and Red Bull she calls Go-Go Juice. And Alana will shake her belly for you if you ask. In the other corner, there is MaKenzie, who’s at the top of the child beauty pageant food chain and is obsessed with her pacifier (which she calls her Ni-Ni). Her mother feeds her Pixie Stix to keep her jazzed. Who is the crazier brat? You decide!
Who Is The Crazier Beauty Queen Brat?
- Alana reigns supreme! (60%, 370 Votes)
- MaKenzie, always and forever! (40%, 251 Votes)
Total Voters: 621
Surprise! You thought “Toddlers & Tiaras” darling Eden Wood had retired, but in fact, she was busy filming her new reality TV show for Logo. “Eden’s World” will follow Eden, her (stage) mother, her publicist and her manager on their quest to make the former beauty queen a super star. As the random dude in the preview says, “Not everyone is Judy Garland, you know?” Oh yes, I am well aware. Eden Wood is certainly no Judy Garland in training. MaKenzie was robbed. An entire series about that little tasmanian devil? I would have watched. Alana, her mother and their endless supply of “go-go juice”? You could have counted me in! Eden Wood. Blech. [NY Mag]