Earlier in the week, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner made the talk show rounds. But with “New Moon” opening tonight at midnight (yes, I’ll be there), it’s time to send out the big gun—Robert Pattinson. Last night, he did “Letterman” and this morning he stopped by “Today.” Check out the clips below.

This girl wins the prize for Best Reaction of All Time. At first, you’re bummed that this girl on “The Today Show” could care less that she won a spot as a kid reporter, as she adopts a blank stare that goes on forevs. But then the tension starts to build ... and she starts breathing harder. Then all of a sudden it’s so much more than you expected, and omigod, the screeching. I dare you to not smile. You simply can’t do it. I want to put her in a room and tell her she’s won stuff all day and then bottle that air and sell it to sad people. [BuzzFeed]

unSweetined, Jodie Sweetin‘s book about her drug addiction and recovery, officially hits bookstores tomorrow, and the former “Full House” star spoke to Matt Lauer on “Today” this morning. As we know from reading an excerpt from the book, Jodie was still using when she began touring the country, warning college students about the dangers of using drugs. The day before she caught a flight to speak to students at Marquette University, she had partied for hours, drinking alcohol and using ecstasy and cocaine. She even bought some coke, which she hid in her makeup compact, on the flight.

Mariah Carey visited “Today” this morning to promote her just-released album, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel. She even brought along her own crystal-encrusted microphone and mic stand, as only a true diva does. Listen to her piercing high notes (and watch the accompanying hand gestures) in the video above. She sings the 1984 classic “I Want to Know What Love Is” with a children’s choir. [Today]

First, we had to swear off “The View” when we found out that Kate Gosselin and Meghan McCain would be sitting down at the table with Joy, Whoopi, et al. Now, “The Today Show” is gonna be off limits, too. Guess who they’ve hired to be a special correspondent, reporting a story per month? Jenna Bush. Yep, the Bush twin who made underage drinking an artform and who consistently drove her secret service detail batty. Here’s what Jenna, who also managed to squeeze a book deal out of the whole being-a-former-president’s-daughter thing, had to say about her new gig. “It wasn’t something I’d always dreamed to do. But I think one of the most important things in life is to be open-minded and to be open-minded for change.” Uh, Jenna? Your puppy didn’t just die—you just got the ultimate cushy gig hosting on one of the most popular shows on television. If you’re not feeling it, I could find you, uh, thousands of broadcast journalism majors who’d be down. [People]

Kate Gosselin‘s “Today Show” therapy session interview made us feel a little awkward. “I am as well as can be expected. I’m determined to hang in there,” she said, getting all weepy while interviewer Meredith Vieira talked in a quiet, soothing voice. When Meredith asked if she still loved Jon, she replied, “When I think back to the Jon that I knew, yes.” She also divulged why she continues to wear her wedding ring—so as not to upset the kidlets. Um, Kate? I think they know something’s up. We hope next time Kate needs a shrink, she doesn’t broadcast it on television. Although, we gotta say, until six months ago, we so thought Jon was the good guy, and she was the nag. Oh, how the tables have turned.

President Barack Obama was criticized by some (ourselves included) for wearing “mom jeans.” Why would such a handsome and important man put on such unflattering pants? Meredith Vieira got to the bottom of this matter in a “Today” interview. Hear Obama’s answer in the above clip.

Ann Curry interviewed Levi Johnston on “The Today Show” this morning, giving his take on the current Sarah Palin situation. Why? Because he’s an expert, of course!

“Today” spoke with Sarah Palin while she was on a fishing trip in a remote village in Alaska just three days after her strange and sudden resignation. She said that after she was tapped to run for VP last August, everything changed. Now, Palin is sick of playing political games. Will she run for president in 2012? “I don’t know what the future holds,” She said. “You can’t predict what the next fish run’s going to look like, much less what’s going to happen in the next couple of years. My focus is on my state still, and it always will be. And my family and what is best for them.” So, that’s not a no?

Meet Isabella, a modern-day Lassie. This golden retriever adopted three Bengal tiger cubs after their mother abandoned them. That’s right, tiger cubs. While raising her own litter last year, Isabella also weaned cubs Nasira, Anjika, and Sidani and became their surrogate mother. The alternative animal family was so unbelievably adorable that enough people flocked to the Safari Zoological Park in Kansas and the zoo was saved from shutting down. But all good things must come to end. Now that the tigers have grown up a bit, they must say goodbye to their “mother.” It’s true, tigers are instinctively predatory and dangerous so it is safer for Isabella to be separated as the cubs grow, but I wish it wasn’t so. Even the zoo’s owners Tom and Allie Harvey have chronicled the animal family in a book called Tiger Pups and are gearing up for the tigers’ first birthday celebration. Should be a purrrrrfect party. Yeah, I know that was bad. [The Today Show]

This morning on the “Today” show, Matt Lauer hinted that the Duggar family would be on Monday’s show to make a big announcement. We are just sitting on the edge of our seat in anticipation! What could the news be?! We have a few ideas…

1. Michelle got her tubes ties and/or Jim Bob got a vasectomy—they just can’t afford to get pregnant again in this economy.
2. The couple is pregnant with their 19th child.
3. The eldest Duggar son, Josh, and his wife, Anna, are expecting and Michelle and Jim Bob are going to be grandparents!
4. The family is going on tour as a modern-day Partridge family.
5. Jim Bob, who served in the Arkansas House of Representatives from 1999 to 2003, is announcing his candidacy for the U.S. Senate. If he gets elected, their new show will be called “The Duggars Go to Washington,” and their kids will attend Sasha and Malia Obama’s school.

I am so ashamed of this hotness, honestly. Last Friday, I was working from home, watching The Today Show, when the famous crooner came on the screen. Mind you, I previously did not enjoy him because I think his music kind of stinks and is too sappy, plus I was a little resentful that he was dating super cool Emily Blunt. But now they’re broken up and I can finally see Buble for the smoking hot dude that he is. Seriously, his face his hot. I truly wish, however, that he would not open his mouth to sing.

Heidi is awfully excited about a cartoon version of her that isn’t even as attractive as the real Heidi. But then, is anything as attractive as the real Heidi? [New York City, 7/15/08]

There are no words for how excited I am to see The Love Guru. My yoga class is really big into talking about gurus and I really think Mike Myers took the spirituality a little seriously when making this comedy. Anyway, he was on The Today Show this morning and got a little blushey when talking about his co-star, Justin Timberlake, who he cast as the villian in the film.

Bobbie Thomas spoke on Today about getting the fashions in the

Just when we think our groupie years are behind us, a pic like this comes out and makes us want to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to cry and scream “I Love You!” at the New Kids on the Block’s Today Show concert on Friday. The Boston boy band that disbanded in 1994 is back! Step by Step, they’ve been recording new material and teasing their fans with promises of a reunion and it’s finally here!  They’re releasing a single this spring, which will be followed by an album and TV show this summer. Might we also suggest re-releasing the NKOTB pillowcase? Now that there together again, we want to sleep with them. The Block, as they call themselves, have been hanging tough over the past decade: Donnie became an actor like his rapper/actor brother Mark(y Mark), Jordan was on the Surreal Life III, Danny formed a record label, Joey was on Dancing with the Stars and Jonathan became a real estate developer. But now they’re back in the booty shakin’ business and writing the songs for themselves.  Donnie said, “We are not pretending to be somebody else. We didn’t go country, no rap, no metal. We are who we are.”  Something tells us they’ve still got the right stuff. [Boston Herald]

Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman are BFF’s!  To promote their new movie, The Other Boleyn Girl, in which they play sisters who vie for the love of King Henry VIII, they’ve been hitting the talk show circuit together.  On The Today Show, while being interviewed by Matt Lauer, these gal pals kept giving each other sideways glances and then giggling, which we all know is girl code for “you’re my bestie” and “we totally have to rip on this later.” The pretty pair shares more than laughs, they’re together, all vamped up, on the cover of W magazine this month.  While the picture will give your boyfriend something to lust after, their interviews will make you fall in love!  Despite how perfectly cool they look and act, when they talk to each other, like any good girlfriends, their endearing insecurities come out.  Scarlett says she’s sick of being called a “ho-bag” ever since she told Allure that gets tested for AIDS every six months and Natalie laments that she thinks people perceive her as boring. “I don’t think you’re boring,” Scarlett quickly reassures her. “Thanks, I appreciate that,” Natalie replies. Aw, that’s what friends are for. Their real dialogue is better than the movies!  Although we definitely can’t wait to see them together on the big screen. [W Magazine]