I feel like an awful human being saying this, but TLC’s “Abby & Brittany” just isn’t living up to my expectations in terms of answering any of my technical questions. HOW DO THEY POOP? Don’t get me wrong, they are wonderful, inspiring human beings. I enjoyed learning how they drive, watching them ride a Segway, student teach and get ready for their college graduation. The only scientifically interesting things I learned last night was that their stomachs hurt on opposite sides when they eat too much pizza and that they can simultaneously be different temperatures. Weird. The most exciting bit of the show, besides the previews for “Breaking Amish” (which looks enthralling by the way … Rumspringa!), was their hang out session Josiah, their “best friend.” Best friend, eh? Um, I think they are both in lurrvvvvveeee with Josiah. It’s so obvious. But are the feelings reciprocal? Let’s assess the romantic tension after the jump. Keep reading »
Do you need another way to waste time today? I think you do. And should it involve “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo?” I think it should. I still haven’t figured out the formula for how the Boo Boos come up with their nicknames, but TLC has applied the top secret algorithm to their Honey Boo Boo Nickname Generator. Mine is Apple Annie. I put in Tanning Mom’s name (Patricia Krentcil) just for fun as well. Her Boo Boo nickname is Pageant Kumquat. YES IT IS. What’s yours? Please share.
As always, the precious moments on last night’s episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” were bountiful. I was still a little distracted by the discovery that June is the same age as me. It’s going to take me a while to process that. Anyhow, the Boo Boos are showing no signs of slowing down. I sincerely hope you’ve been watching as it’s difficult for me not to talk about every single second of every episode. I want us to share ALL of them together, but, for the sake of brevity, I am forced to pick the most beautimous nuggets. Spoiler: Last night’s undisputed climax was the revealing of June’s FORKLIFT FOOT. Oh YES. After the jump, FORKLIFT FOOT and much, much more. Keep reading »
As we know from last week’s episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (and the ensuing photographs floating around the interwebs), Chickadee pushed baby Kaitlin out of her biscuit. According to People, five-week-old Kaitlyn, born on July 26, has “four fingers and two thumbs on the right hand.”
In response to the rumors that June was mocking the baby’s birth defect, 33-year-old June says, “Not true. We have embraced [the abnormality]. It makes Kaitlyn more special to us.”
WAIT. Excuse me. June and I are the SAME AGE?! Holy shit. My brain just spontaneously combusted. Keep reading »
TLC is like my spirit animal cable channel, so my hopes were lofty for “Abby & Brittany,” the new show about 22-year-old identical, conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel. I saw TLC’s special about them way back when they were 16 and getting their driver’s license. Then, I saw some British special filmed when they were 19 and Brittany was believed to be engaged. I was hoping “Abby & Brittany” would be all about navigating one twin’s relationship. And maybe even HOW SEX WORKS FOR THEM. They have one vagina. So is it considered a threesome when Brittany has sex with her fiance? I need to know! Keep reading »
Any new or cutting edge sexual info I get usually comes from Dan Savage’s podcast or TLC’s “Strange Sex,” so I try to keep abreast of those. Of course, I share anything stimulating that I learn with you. Sunday night’s episode of “Strange Sex” schooled me on sex furniture and sleep orgasms. And there was a guy who couldn’t get erections. (But that was just sad. I can’t write about him. Too depressing.) I know, you’re already getting excited. Settle down. Lessons forth coming.
First, sex furniture! I thought I knew what sex furniture was. I thought it was a fetish wherein one person pretended to be furniture. Where did I get that idea? Does that exist as well? Anyhow, this wasn’t about that. Keep reading »