Yesterday, I had dim sum and was feeling adventurous so I ordered chicken feet just because I was curious. Not exaggerating, one bite and I gagged. They were so gummy and gelatinous, I wanted to die. I felt nauseous for most of the day and into this morning. Sometimes, when I am disgusted by something, I try to find something that is even more disgusting to distract me. I found something! An upcoming episode of “My Strange Addiction” will feature a woman addicted to eating cat hair. Keep reading »
Oh, heeyyy. What’s that? TLC has a new amazing show coming down the pipelines? Oh, yes they do. The channel whose womb I want to crawl into, is bringing us “Plastic Wives,” a series about the wives of some of the most high profile surgeons in Beverly Hills.
“Underneath all that plastic are the wrinkles the cracks, the insecurities. We all try to cover it up, but we’re the Plastic Wives,” says cast member Dayna. She also refers to her vagina as “two soy hot dogs with a bad carpet.” I will be using that one in the future. Why soy? I can’t take the time to ponder that because really, Dayna’s soy dogs are nothing compared to Alana’s. She keeps hers in a small plastic jar. “This is my labia, I think she looks better in a jar than hanging down there,” she says.
Done and done. I’ll be watching the premiere on January 27th. The full preview after the jump. [TLC] Keep reading »
This episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo” made me realize that I’ve been celebrating Thanksgiving wrong all these years. I’ve never made a Junecrow to scare the gnats away or ate Billy Bob mega multi-meal style or worn a fuzzy turkey hat or used the wishbone as a toothpick. What have I been doing with my life? Thanksgiving Boo Boo-style, after the jump. Keep reading »
Gather ’round children and let me tell you a ghost story that will scare the ooo out of you. It’s about the Fart Ghost — a ghost that you smell before it scares you and it likes scaring people really bad. Sometimes the Fart Ghost farts … mayonnaise. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Oh yes, the return of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” was a scary one because it’s Halloween in McIntyre. So, we get to go deep into the Boo Boo’s psyches and find out what scares the ooo out of them (mayonnaise, frogs, ghost stories, getting pumpkins stuck on their heads) and how much they like candy. A GODDAMN LOT. Since we’re sharing here, my biggest fear is finding out that Mama June and I are actually the same person, which I’m starting to fear we are. We are the SAME AGE (still not over that), like to talk about farts and have a crippling fear of mayonnaise, or as Pumpkin calls it, “marannaise.” Holy crap. Some of my favorite frightening moments from the premiere after the jump. Keep reading »
Oh, feminism, what a tangled web you weave! How could I have missed “Wives With Beehives,” a program that aired last Thursday night on TLC (of course), about couples who purposefully live a 1950s lifestyle? The husbands go off to work, carrying their lunch in a pail, natch, while the wives stay at their kitsch-ed out ’50s home wearing full makeup and retro dresses, cooking and cleaning before his return. Here’s a clip featuring 37-year-old Amber chatting about how this lifestyle is just the bee knees. Keep reading »
Happy HOLLAdays from Alana and the gang at “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” Guess what Sugar Claus wants to stuff in your stocking? A special HOLLAday nickname! You may have received your regular “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” nickname this summer, but in Boo Boo land, I guess they update nicknames seasonally. From here on out we’ll be referring to the Royal Baby as “Razzle Dazzle Butter.”
What will we be calling you this HOLLAday? [TLC]