Oh, heeyyy. What’s that? TLC has a new amazing show coming down the pipelines? Oh, yes they do. The channel whose womb I want to crawl into, is bringing us “Plastic Wives,” a series about the wives of some of the most high profile surgeons in Beverly Hills.
“Underneath all that plastic are the wrinkles the cracks, the insecurities. We all try to cover it up, but we’re the Plastic Wives,” says cast member Dayna. She also refers to her vagina as “two soy hot dogs with a bad carpet.” I will be using that one in the future. Why soy? I can’t take the time to ponder that because really, Dayna’s soy dogs are nothing compared to Alana’s. She keeps hers in a small plastic jar. “This is my labia, I think she looks better in a jar than hanging down there,” she says.
Done and done. I’ll be watching the premiere on January 27th. The full preview after the jump. [TLC] Keep reading »
This episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo” made me realize that I’ve been celebrating Thanksgiving wrong all these years. I’ve never made a Junecrow to scare the gnats away or ate Billy Bob mega multi-meal style or worn a fuzzy turkey hat or used the wishbone as a toothpick. What have I been doing with my life? Thanksgiving Boo Boo-style, after the jump. Keep reading »
Gather ’round children and let me tell you a ghost story that will scare the ooo out of you. It’s about the Fart Ghost — a ghost that you smell before it scares you and it likes scaring people really bad. Sometimes the Fart Ghost farts … mayonnaise. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Oh yes, the return of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” was a scary one because it’s Halloween in McIntyre. So, we get to go deep into the Boo Boo’s psyches and find out what scares the ooo out of them (mayonnaise, frogs, ghost stories, getting pumpkins stuck on their heads) and how much they like candy. A GODDAMN LOT. Since we’re sharing here, my biggest fear is finding out that Mama June and I are actually the same person, which I’m starting to fear we are. We are the SAME AGE (still not over that), like to talk about farts and have a crippling fear of mayonnaise, or as Pumpkin calls it, “marannaise.” Holy crap. Some of my favorite frightening moments from the premiere after the jump. Keep reading »
Oh, feminism, what a tangled web you weave! How could I have missed “Wives With Beehives,” a program that aired last Thursday night on TLC (of course), about couples who purposefully live a 1950s lifestyle? The husbands go off to work, carrying their lunch in a pail, natch, while the wives stay at their kitsch-ed out ’50s home wearing full makeup and retro dresses, cooking and cleaning before his return. Here’s a clip featuring 37-year-old Amber chatting about how this lifestyle is just the bee knees. Keep reading »
Happy HOLLAdays from Alana and the gang at “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” Guess what Sugar Claus wants to stuff in your stocking? A special HOLLAday nickname! You may have received your regular “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” nickname this summer, but in Boo Boo land, I guess they update nicknames seasonally. From here on out we’ll be referring to the Royal Baby as “Razzle Dazzle Butter.”
What will we be calling you this HOLLAday? [TLC]
Pray Tell is The Frisky’s new biweekly column about the intersection of religion and women’s lives.
The third season of the TLC series “Sister Wives” premiered this week. The show is about the Brown family — Kody, and his wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn. They have 17 kids, including three from Robyn’s previous marriage. The Browns are members of the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB), an offshoot of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS, aka the Mormons). Since the mainstream LDS church agreed to outlaw polygamy in exchange for Utah being granted U.S. statehood, the members who wanted to keep on practicing plural marriage joined groups like AUB. While plural marriage has been around for thousands of years (Jacob marrying both Rachel and Leah, anybody?), the appeal of “Sister Wives” is seeing how the practice works in modern times. Think of it as a real-life version of “Big Love.” Keep reading »
Nobody does extreme quite like TLC. They are leaving behind toilet paper eaters and polygamous couples for the moment, and delving into the world of extreme cougars and the men who love them.
In this instance, the adjective “extreme” when used in conjunction with the word “cougar” means that there is a 20-year or larger age gap between the couples. Or as the distraught mother of one of the boys puts it when he introduces his much, much older wife, “So, she’s older than your mother?!”
Oh yeah. That could be uncomfortable. Which is exactly why this show should be a lot of fun. Hey, it worked for Harold and Maude. So reserve your judgmental glares until Sunday, November 25. Check out the preview above. [TLC]
A shout out to RoyalEagle0408 who sent me this Atlantic article, The Sex Lives of Conjoined Twins, which endeavors to answer some of the questions the TLC show “Abby & Brittany” failed to touch upon. In a British documentary about conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel twins, which aired a couple of years back, there was mention of Brittany being engaged. The promise of learning about the twins’ love/sex lives was what initially motivated me to watch their TLC series.
My questions were endless: If the twins have sex with a guy, is it considered a threesome? If they masturbate is it considered incestuous? Do both of them have to approve of a sex partner? If a partner touches one genital does the other feel it? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I stopped watching “Abby & Brittany” after a few episodes when it became clear that anything having to do with sex wasn’t going to be addressed and that the most titillating bits I would see would involve Abby and Brittany riding Segways and eating pizza. (No mention of what happened when they digested that pizza.) Keep reading »
The good news is “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” has been picked up for another season! WOOT! And the bad news is … well, you know the bad news. The season is over and now I have nothing to look forward to on Wednesday nights. I’m almost too sad to write about the “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” finale, but I will buck up because Alana would want me to. As always there were too many precious moments for me to cover them all. With a heavy heart, I bring you my favorite nuggets from last night’s finale. TEARDROP. Keep reading »
We need to talk about the upcoming TLC documentary, “Half-Ton Killer.” If you’ve seen TLC’s other “Half-Ton” docs (“Half-Ton Mom,” “Half-Ton Teen,” etc.), this is a different beast. Yes, Mayra Rosales does weigh a half-ton. Actually she weighs 1,100 pounds and is considered one of the heaviest women in the world. But this is not about Mayra’s struggle to lose weight. Keep reading »