You can hear Mama June use her very original euphemisms as she gives the girls a talk about the birds and the bees on tonight’s season premiere of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” If it’s unclear, the fruit loop is part of the biscuit, which is a part of the woman’s “privatal area.” It’s called a fruit loop because “guys go loopy over it.” Obviously. [People]
My new favorite TLC show, “Sex Sent Me To The ER,” features awful reenactments of the most cringeworthy sex accidents. It’s almost as good as “Investigation Discovery.” I said ALMOST. This week’s episode features teenage couple Katie and Brent, who ran into trouble when they were rounding third base. It’s the same old story … with a painful twist. Boy sneaks into girl’s bedroom at night. Girl gives boy a blowjob. Girl dislocates her jaw. Boy, scared shitless, jumps out of girl’s window and hurts himself. Dad threatens to dislocate boy’s arm. Boy escapes from hospital. Doctor savagely snaps girl’s jaw back in place. Girl makes up a preposterous story about how the accident REALLY occurred to pacify her angry father. “They were just texting,” and her jaw got stuck like that from a “really big yawn.” Good one, Katie! Check out the denouement after the jump. Keep reading »
At the age of 45, Lacey Wildd is proud to be plastic. The former showgirl had her first breast augmentation 20 years ago and has increased her bust size far beyond what would be considered normal. Last year, she wore a Size MMM bra, but she contemplates going up to a Size QQQ! Read more on Huffington Post…
Filed under “My Worst Nightmare Come To Life”: meet a gentleman who waxes with packing tape. Yes, he waxes with packing tape. How does he stay in one piece!? Keep reading »
In “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” land, mother/daughter bonding consists of teaching your daughter how to shave your face before painting up the old barn. Because hey, Alana might as well practice getting rid of “turkey neck” hair, which will be sprouting on her face soon enough. In a clip from tonight’s episode, we see Pumpkin wield a razor and shaving cream to help Mama June get beautimous for her big commitment ceremony to Sugar Bear. And in case you were wondering, there will be no biscuit waxing for the big day. June shaves everywhere, baby. I swear, I’m going on the June Thompson beauty plan where you fart to stay thin, wash your hair in the sink and become more beautimous by being happy. Preach!
I’ve already seen the photos of the big event and they are spectacular — there’s a bouncy house and camouflage cake! — so I’m looking forward to the televised version. [People via DListed]
You probably know Wesley Warren Jr. as the man with the 132-pound nut. At first Warren didn’t want to undergo surgery for his scrotal lymphedema, but found it to be the best option for his health and safety. After all, wearing an upside-down hoodie to cover your ball in public, watching TV while resting your junk on a milk crate, and having your scrotum overtake your penis to the point that you lose your ability to control your pee is no way to live. Not to mention the severe anemia and depression Warren suffered due to his condition. In April of this year, he finally underwent a 13-hour procedure to remove his giant scrotal mass. Keep reading »