Breaking news: Tiger Woods, his wife and his mistress might all actually be 8th graders. They’re sure acting like it!
Sources tell The Daily Beast that right before The National Enquirer printed a story about Woods’ affair with Rachel Uchitel, he warned Elin Nordegren about the story and put her on the phone with Uchitel, assuming she could convince his wife that there was no affair. Their cover story, apparently, was that Woods and Uchitel had only met once or twice on social occasions. (Buddy, when your wife believes your mistress’s word before she believes your word, you have problems.) Nordegren allegedly once spoke on the phone with Uchitel for half an hour, but didn’t completely believe the hooey that their relationship was platonic. Sources say that the couple bickered about an alleged affair on Thanksgiving night until Woods allegedly got tired of bickering and popped an Ambien to fall asleep. Keep reading »
Ever since the golf balls hit the fan, Tiger Woods has been missing in action. No one has been able to confirm the dude’s location or been able to snap a photo of him. Conflicting reports have placed him in New York, Miami, on his yacht, in Africa, and in the Bahamas. But People believes that he is actually in Wickenburg, Arizona. A source tells them that Tiger is at The Meadows clinic, which specializes in rehab for drugs, alcohol, gambling and sex—yes, he’d be there for the latter. Some folks in the town claim to have seen Tiger fly in by helicopter before Christmas. But this source says he arrived closer to New Year’s and is in a four-to-five week program. “He should be out by Valentine’s Day or thereabouts,” the source claims. Meanwhile, the people of Wickenburg are happy to have Tiger in their midst. A local pizza parlor even has a sign in the window that reads, “Hey, Tiger, we deliver.” Aww. [People] Keep reading »
Focus! That’s the slogan Gatorade wanted their “Gatorade Tiger Focus” beverage to be known for—not “unfaithful.” But despite the fact that Gatorade dropped its Tiger Woods drink in early December, some merry pranksters in Denver replaced the labels on Gatorade bottles with ones reading “UNFAITHFUL” where the company’s usual “FOCUS” message should be.
Ha! Bet Gatorade is P-I-S-S-E-D. [Yahoo Sports] Keep reading »
It always touches my heart when people support important, meaningful causes. So let’s all give a little golf clap for Jamie Jungers, one of Tiger Woods‘ bedmates, who is getting involved with Mistresses Anonymous, a support group for ladies getting down with married men. The group is run by Sarah Symonds, who alleges that she did the no pants dance with chef Gordon Ramsay for seven years. On the group’s website, she writes, “I have been hearing from too many of you who have been ‘dumped’ when your MM’s [married man's] wife found out about you (or when you told his wife about the affair yourself, as I did) and are breaking your hearts. Well, he is not worth it—and this is why I tell you NEVER fall in love with your married man.” Jamie obviously has a lot to say on this topic, and Symons thinks the two will team up on a project. But why stop there when the balance of the world is in your hands? “Ideally what I’d like to do is a TV special with all of Tiger’s mistresses, where they could discuss the downside to being ‘the other woman,’” Symonds said. “And whether he was good in bed.” Right, because that last part will certainly further the cause. Keep reading »