• thoughts from guys on our im

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Is Dita Von Teese Correct That Men Like Watching Women “Get Ready”?

Dita's Beauty Tips
Dita Von Teese
Dita Von Teese on why you should pluck your nipple hairs. Read More »
Guys on IM: Cooking
woman cooking photo
Do guys like it when we cook for them? Read More »
Guys ON IM: Porn
How do they really feel about porn? Read More »

Last week, burlesque star Dita Von Teese had me scratching my head at something she said in an interview with Into The Gloss. Dita, who is publishing an offbeat beauty guide soon, was giving tips on how to “sexify” getting ready so it turns on your man. She explained:

“In my book, I’ll have all kinds of things in it that you just don’t do around guys — like how I do my hair if a guy’s watching, how to make the process glamorous, so it doesn’t look crazy. I won’t go around with the hot rollers and all the clips in front of a guy that I’m dating, so, I know how to curl my hair with a curling iron, and use duckbill clips so it looks nice when I’m doing it. … But there are certain things to be discreet about during the seduction process. Men like to watch you get ready, but I kind of tailor things a little bit for when they’re watching.”

I wasn’t entirely sure I could take Dita Von Teese’s word for it. I’ve had boyfriends who have not been able to take their hands off me while I’m trying to get dressed in the morning or putting on makeup and I’ve also had boyfriends who could not have cared less. Some guys might be turned on by the voyeuristic element but I imagine most of them are just terrified at how scary eyelash curlers look. Anyway, I’m sure Dita has a full-on boudoir and anything she does is instantly sexed up by mood lighting and the smell of Agent Provocateur Petale Noir. She’s not exactly the status quo of beauty grooming here.

But I love Dita and I thought she might have a point. So I did what Frisky girls do in this scenario and turned to guys on my IM for the scoop: Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: What Do Men Think About Valentine’s Day?

V-Day Survival Guide
For all your Valentine's Day needs. Read More »
Skipping V-Day?
Here are some ways to avoid the holiday altogether. Read More »
History Of V-Day
All about the day honoring Saint Valentine. Read More »
Mind Of Man
It's not about who loves you, but whom you love. Read More »

Confession? I love Valentine’s Day. I know it’s not cool to admit, but I’m a big soppy romantic at heart. Any day devoted to chocolates, flowers and other showy displays of l’amour is okay by me. (And even if I’ve been single on V-Day, my dad has always sent me a box of chocolate in the mail!) This year my dude has been warning me to keep my expectations low, which I guess means we’re taking a hot air balloon ride instead of a private jet to Mustique? I know I am alone in my Valentine’s Day love … so I chatted with some of the dudes on my IM to plumb the depths of their hatred. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Worry About Being A “Toxic Bachelor”?

Guys on IM: Cooking
woman cooking photo
Do guys like it when we cook for them? Read More »
Guys ON IM: Porn
How do they really feel about porn? Read More »
Bachelor 4 Life
George Clooney says marriage just isn't for him. Read More »
Wills' Bachelor Party
Prince Harry and Prince William photo
What went down at the bachelor party Harry threw. Read More »

The “toxic bachelor.” It was a term we’d never really heard of until a 33-year-old male friend, fresh off a breakup, mentioned it. “I want to settle down,” he said. “I want to start a family. Plus, I’m getting to that age where if I don’t do it soon, I’m in danger of becoming a ‘toxic bachelor.’” A toxic bachelor, he explained, is when it’s no longer cute to be single, and seems sad and desperate instead. For this particular friend, his “toxic bachelor” age was 35, and we wanted to know if other men felt any kind of desperate pull to settle down. So we asked them. Over IM.

Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Want A Woman To Cook For You?

woman cooking photo
Bitchin' In The Kitchen
All the Frisky's recipes and tips for Bitchin' in the Kitchen. Read More »

Men and food: the relationship is deep and intertwined. Ever since the days when a man clubbed a pterodactyl on the head and dragged it back to the cave for her to pop in the deep-fryer, women have known that food is very important to them. Possibly, dare I say, even more important than blowjobs?

Yet a man’s relationship with food causes us Frisky ladies to ask many questions. How can they not understand why we need to eat chocolate cupcakes every day during our period? Why do they think Nacho Cheese Combos count as food? And what should we whip up in the kitchen if we want to get laid?

I wrangled up a few dude friends — including a couple guys I dated — and picked their brains for answers. And, in the process, I learned that I’m making mashed potatoes all wrong, apparently.

Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Why Are Dudes Either Flaky Or Non-Committal About Time?

Why Are Men Non-Committal About Time?
What is it with dudes and time? By that we mean, why do they—and of course we are generalizing because that is what we get paid to do—either refuse to be committal when it comes to making a date or are super flaky about the plans/statements they do make? The Non-Committal Type says things like, “Let’s hang out soon” or “I’ll call you sometime.”
Meanwhile, The Flaky Type is super specific, but has zero follow through. “I’ll call you Monday to make plans for a date on Thursday” results in no call Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday, so you make alternate plans for Thursday night, but guess what? He’s all up in your grill that morning, saying, “Psyched to hang out tonight!
What should we do?” We are in a constant state of trying to decide which type we hate more. But more important, why do guys generally fall into one of these two buckets? Why is the “Guy Who Makes Specific Plans And Sticks To Them” such a f**king dating unicorn? We went to the guys on our IM to find out.

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: What Are Your Pre-Date Nerves?

Guys — they’re just like us! In this episode of “Thoughts From Guys On Our IM,” the boys who make up our chat list confess what makes them nervous before and during a date. Yes, dudes get nervous. Shocking, I know. Read onward! Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Are You Honest About Your Porn Use?

Women & Porn
10 reasons they watch. Read More »
Men Watch Porn
So what? Read More »

In a piece for The Good Men Project, Hugo Schwyzer writes about the many men he’s talked with who lie to their girlfriends/wives about the amount of porn they watch. One man told him that he downplays how much X-rated material he consumes because “women go ballistic when you tell them the truth.” Really? Do women actually go ballistic? Are dudes really lying about how much porn they watch? We decided to ask a few of the guys on our IM — who are ALWAYS honest with us — about this very subject. Find out what they had to say after the jump! And please, male Frisky readers, tell us whether you have lied about how much porn you watch and why. And ladies, would you actually go “ballistic” about your dude’s porn usage? Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: When Do You Tell A Dude Sex Is Off The Table?

Ladies, get ready, I’m about to have a TMI moment with y’all. A couple of months ago, I went on a date with a guy, and we seemed to really be hitting it off. He made a comment about coming back to my house when we finished up our drinks, and I was really into the idea, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong vibe about what might go down, so I flirtatiously told him that I was up for it, but I wasn’t going to sleep with him. And. He. Flipped. Out.

He turned to me and said, “Just think about how this sounds” and then repeated my words back to me. “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” And oh, boy, was he right. It sounded HARSH. Way harsh, Tai. (“Clueless” reference alert!) I was suddenly on the verge of tears. I felt like a major jerk! And so presumptuous! Had I totally blown it? But then, what was I supposed to do? I mean, I was just trying to avoid some really awkward making out moment. My intentions were good!

So, I figured I’d ask a few of the thoughtful gents on my IM list what they prefer women do in those sorts of scenarios. And boy, were the results mixed. The general consensus though, was I probably shouldn’t have handled it quite that way. Lesson learned. It’s a good thing I’ve only been doing things this way for oh, the last 15 years or so. (Blergh).

After the jump, guy advice on how to handle the awkward first (or second date) sex chat. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: What Do You Consider Romantic?

Men & Romance
John DeVore on what he considers "romantic." Read More »
Yucky Romantic Gestures
These 7 things gross this lady out. Read More »
Guys' Pre-Date Nerves
The guys on our IM share! Read More »

Ahh, romance. Always thought about in terms of what women want — flowers (peonies for me, thanks!), slow-dancing to Kenny G, dinner at fancy French restaurants with overly rich food, etc. But what about men? Surely they like a romantic gesture now and again … the thing is, what do they consider romantic? What kind of romantic gestures would they appreciate? To find out, I went to the best experts I could find — the guys on my IM. Keep clicking to read how a married guy, a goofy guy, and an unmarried but sort of silly John DeVore want to be romanced. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Would You Ever Have A Cohabitation Agreement With Your Girlfriend?

In today’s New York Post there’s an interesting “trend” piece about unmarried couples who are drawing up formal and informal “cohabitation agreements” before moving in together. (Bonus! Our own Mind Of Man, John DeVore, and his girlfriend are featured.) The agreements cover everything from who handles which chores, which person pays certain bills, and who gets what in the event of a breakup. Basically, more and more couples — according to the Post — are drawing up these pre-nuptial-esque agreements, especially those who move in together earlier than they would normally, thanks to the tanking economy. So, I wondered, what does the average dude think about this trend? Would he sign one? (For that matter, would you?) I went to the handsome gents on my IM to find out … Keep reading »

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