Tag Archives: thoughts from guys on our im

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Doing It & Thinking About Doing It

There’s a commonly held belief that men are always thinking about sex. Always. I actually think women think about sex almost as often, though not necessarily in the same ways. But another accepted belief is that dudes would have sex all the time, if given the choice — I wasn’t sure if that was true, so I decided to needle the guys on my IM about these two topics — how often they’d like to do it and how often they’re thinking about doing it. While I wasn’t entirely surprised by their answers, I was fascinated. Find out why, after the jump… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys & Gals On Our IM: Do Condoms Suck That Much?

A Note On Playing It Safe: The Frisky thinks safe sex is smart sex – so please practice it in the way that’s right for your relationship.

So, NPR posted a story saying that condom-less sex is the new engagement ring, because going bareback shows the same or similar kind of intimacy and trust and commitment that traditional marriage does. I see their point, though the man-friend and I dropped the connies well before we got engaged — but only when we’d agreed to be monogamous and had done the all important STD-tests etc. Over at fellow lady blog Jezebel, outgoing Features Editor Moe says about sex without a condom:

“…here is the irrefutable: it feels awesome. Maybe that is because I have only really engaged in bareback sex with the types of dudes who don’t fear HPV and whose diseases I don’t particularly fear, because the worst thing I can think of about most of them is the ensuing lifetime of awkward conversations…”

In other words, sex with condoms sucks, the worst that could happen to me if I go without condoms with a dude is maybe I could get pregnant or get HPV or “diseases I don’t particularly fear” and of having those diseases, the worst part is having awkward conversations with future sex partners. There is so much that is ridiculous about that statement, but I’m not in the business of ripping people apart for their personal sexual choices.
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Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: When He Can’t Get Her Off

It’s an exciting week! We’ve got not one but two new additions to the “Guys On Our IM” roster (including one of our boys at AskMen.com), each desperate to wow your lady skulls with their revelations on the male psyche, sex drive, and beating heart. This week, I broke ‘em in hard, asking them to confess how they really feel when they aren’t able to make a sexual partner climax. Depressed? Suicidal? Meh? Sadistically happy? Find out, after the jump! Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Why Don’t You Notice Our Effing Lingerie?!

In yesterday’s post about the 30 things women love that men don’t understand, I listed “sexless cotton brief underwear” at number 11. Those are my favorite kinds of lingerie — in cute, fun prints, yes, but cotton, usually paired with a bright, cotton bra with about as much sex appeal as Rainbow Bright. I’ve got some “sexier” lingerie, I suppose, including this lacy bra thingy I bought on The Frisky’s big bra fitting trip earlier this year that has ribbons cascading from it that I save for special occasions (special occasions I won’t be having for another three months, at least). Anyway, my ex never seemed to really notice my undergarments which was great when I was wearing some holey, period-stained thong, but kind of was a bummer when I took the time to match and traded in cotton for lace. But I’ve heard similar complaints from other women — do dudes really give a crap whether the women they’re about to make sweet love to is wearing practical panties from The Gap or a sheer lace booty boy short from La Perla? And if not, why the hell are places that charge $50 for a tiny scrap of fabric still in business? I interrogate the guys on my IM about their lingerie preferences, after the jump… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: The “Before Marriage” Sex List

The other day, one of the Guys On My IM told me, “Guys want to bang a model, a stripper, a famous chick, and maybe a flight attendant before getting hitched.” I’ve heard such sentiments before, though not from any guy I truly respected (I actually respect this particular guy, despite his pre-marriage hump list). Given how many guys go to strip clubs and get all google-y eyed for Gisele Bundchen, couldn’t this general statement apply not only to the men I know and love, but also most guys, period? I decided to ask the rest of the Guys On My IM for their opinions — and while it turns out that none of them have a strong desire to schtup a pole dancer, they all do have SOME sort of ideal bedpost notch list…. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Female Grooming Habits

This weekend, when I was in Atlantic City, one of my fellow ragers asked me if she could borrow my tweezers so she could pluck a nipple hair. A nipple hair? She had nipple hair? “Yeah, don’t you?” I honestly didn’t know. She also said she waxed above her lip. Crap, I’ve never waxed my lip. Have I been walking around with a ‘stache for years and no one has ever told me and that’s why I can’t get a rebound to save my life right now?!

On last nights episode of “The Hills” the female ‘stache came back to haunt me — Lauren Conrad had a very obvious dusting of facial fuzz about her lip. If Lauren Conrad has a mustache I must have it too. This morning, the grooming obsession continued when I discovered a horrendous ingrown hair bump, um, you know where. Eww. Maybe I should start listening to the lady mags and actually wax from now on. Especially since I am about to jump back into the dating pool — with that in mind, I decided to ask the dudes on my IM about what they look for, grooming-wise, in a bed mate. I didn’t tell them about my ingrown hair though. I’m hoping it’s gone by the time I sleep with any of them. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Have Dating Age Restrictions?

Women typically date their own age or older, whereas guys typically date their own age or younger — I suppose this is because women mature faster than men, but once you’ve reached full on adulthood, certainly maturity evens out somewhat. With that in mind, I decided to find out what their rules are when it comes to dating older or younger women. Their answers may surprise you. I even got tingly. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: What Constitutes Cheating?

I’ve been thinking a lot about cheating lately, and what constitutes cheating for men and women. Personally, I think anything physical starting with kissing is cheating, though of course it increases in severity the more clothes come off. Emotional cheating is very real in my opinion too — I would be dismayed to find out that my ex, I don’t know, was having, say, a developing emotional affair, possibly, with his younger female coworker, confiding in her and sending her notes about missing her. No physical boundary may have been crossed, but giving your heart to someone, when it belongs to someone else, is just as bad to me. But what about men? Do they have the same guidelines? And how much would they forgive? Keep reading »

The 10 Shocking Things I’ve Learned From The Guys On My IM

The guys on my IM, while occasionally boneheaded, shallow, and doofusey, are, in general, really nice guys who have been incredibly honest with their opinions on matters of sex and dating and love. As a result, I’ve learned so much about the opposite sex! Over the last seven months, these guys have opened my eyes, rocked my world, and, at times, made me realize just how wrong I was about men. After the jump, the 10 most surprising, fascinating, and soul-shaking revelations I’ve had, thanks to them. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do Guys Like To Be Pursued Or Not?

Last night’s episode of “Gossip Girl” was awesomely irritating. After pursuing Blair for ages, Chuck finally got her exactly where he wanted her — about to give up some lovin’ — but then turned the tables on her instead. It seems that Chuck wants to be chased, instead of the other way around. Say what? I’ve long been confused about whether men like women to be aloof or aggressive. Or aggressively aloof, if such a thing is possible. I’m not good at being either of those three things, which is why the prospect of gag, puke, blech, DATING again makes me wrinkle my nose. With that in mind, I decided to ask the men I trust so much I keep our relationships confined to IM, whether men like to be chased or do the chasing. Keep reading »

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