Tag Archives: thoughts from guys on our im

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Would You Ever Violate Her Privacy?

The other night, when I was having dinner with a guy friend who told me my engagement history might scare off some guys, we also discussed the issue of privacy in a relationship and how big of a deal it can be when that privacy is violated. He maintains that checking your partner’s email, cell phone call log, and text messages is totally wrong, whereas I think it’s wrong, but not pathological or evil. Frankly, I know many women who do the occasional cell phone check or email glance (and a few women who do oh-so-much more), but what about guys? Do they ever pilfer through their girlfriends’ inboxes and Facebook accounts? I went to four taken guys on IM to find out. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Always Pay The Check On A Date?

Yesterday I wrote about a recent trend: More and more dates end in split checks. Several of my married female friends — and their husbands — were dismayed and shocked to hear about this, and so were some of you. Some believe that whoever does the asking should do the paying, while others think the guy should always pick up the check, at least for the first few dates. Recently, I went out with three guys in a row who didn’t pick up the check on the first date, and three is a trend, not a case of bad luck. So, I went to the guys on my IM to find out what the hell is going on. Turns out, I should be dating them. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Do You Google Stalk Your Dates?

Marie Claire‘s Diana Vilibert has something crazy to admit: “Give me his name and 30 minutes, and I’ll give you his life story as told through Google, from the name of his childhood pet to a comprehensive collage of ex-girlfriends. I’m all for exhaustively Googling dates and digging up what’s out there.” And she’s not alone. Nearly every one of my female friends has Googled a potential date. Some have taken it to the extreme (background info on past GF’s maybe?), while most stick to the basics. What’s his favorite music? How funny is he? Most of what we want to find out about someone can be dug up on Facebook, but for the pesky dudes who makes their profiles private, Google offers a backup plan. Of course, you may end up finding out more than you bargained for. To be honest, I worry about potential dates Googling me. What I reveal on this site alone could scare off men. But do guys Google-stalk women before dates? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Often Do You Get Tested?

It’s STD Awareness Month! We’ve been talking a lot about the icky stuff you can get while bumping uglies, while Dr. V has urged you to have as much fun as you want, so long as you wear a condom. In the past, we’ve talked to the guys on our IM about how often they actually use condoms, but we’ve never grilled them about how often they get tested for STDs. And what I really wanted to know was how often they were actually honest when a potential sex partner asked them that question. Let’s find out… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: The First Time He Went Down

I remember my first blow job as if it was yesterday. A stairwell, in a bar, with a guy named Dave Wolf, who, just in case you might forget his last name, had a wolf tattooed on his shoulder. I was a late bloomer, sorta, so my first beej came when I was 19. But certainly guys must have as potent memories of the first time they went down on a girl — where did it happen? What did they think? And from where did they divine that initial technique? It was the perfect Tuesday lunchtime question for the guys on my IM… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Why Didn’t You Text/Call Me Back?

Do you watch the show “Tough Love”? I don’t, but both Annika and Simcha have caught episodes and claim that it rivals my beloved “Millionaire Matchmaker.” That remains to be seen, but Steven Ward, the frat boyish matchmaker on the show, did have a rule that kind of rocked my world. “Text on a need to know basis,” he says, suggesting that when women text men with the most mundane messages (“Just wanted to say hi!”), guys will often ignore them, leading women to wonder, “Why hasn’t he texted me back?!” As someone who has always viewed texting a guy as a little safer than calling him outright, this surprised me. But do most guys really hate texting? And why don’t they call us back either, by the way? I went to the dudes on my IM to find out… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Do The Seasons Affect Your Interest In Sex And Relationships?

Spring has arrived! I can practically smell the sunscreen and the delightful ocean breeze. But with the heat comes a question — do men suddenly get a little skip in their step when spring arrives that signals a sudden interest in flirting and non-committal sexy times? I’ve heard the theory that people, especially men, prefer monogamy during the colder months, while spring and summer are reserved for fun philandering. But is it true? I went to the usual suspects for answers… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Are Your Friends In Your Spank Bank?

Last night I had the pleasure of guesting on Cosmo Radio on Sirius. One of things we discussed (in addition to the Hottest Guys With Irish Blood and Paul Rudd) was the public’s obsession with the ins and outs of celebrity sex lives. How weird it must be for, say, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, to know that thousands/millions of people actually think about them DOING IT? But Brian, Cosmo Radio’s resident male, clued us in on something startling. There are people — men, specifically — who think about US having sex. How we do it, what we look like when we’re doing it, and what it might be like to be the one doing it to us. In fact, he promised, we could count on the fact that at least five of our guy friends thought about us while they were jerking off. Say what? My guy friends, aka the Guys On Our IM, have potentially included me in their spank bank? I was honored, not disgusted by the notion, and therefore had to confirm… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Michelle Obama, Awesome?

I can’t hide it. I, and basically every other woman I know, think Michelle Obama is the bee’s knees. She rocks my world. I look up to her, I want to raid her closet, I aspire to have the same grace and poise and intelligence and confidence and parenting abilities and knack for wearing belts just so. But what do men think of our new First Lady? Given the hot and cold reaction that another strong woman in the same position, Hillary Clinton, felt during her eight years as the wife of the President, I wondered what impression Michelle — who possesses Hillary’s gumption, as well as Laura Bush’s desire for privacy — had on men. And, dare I ask, are they attracted to her? Would they admit such a thing, the way many men were happy to admit the attraction they felt towards, say, Sarah Palin? So many questions! Check out their answers, after the jump… Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Long Should You Fight To Save A Struggling Relationship?

After liveblogging four hours of “The Bachelor” over the last two days, it’s no wonder I cannot get Poo-Poo Bach (as he was renamed last night), Sloppy Seconds (aka Molly), and Melissa out of my mind. As a result, it inspired this week’s Thoughts From Guys On Our IM topic, specifically breakups, and how much effort a couple should put in to saving a relationship before calling it quits. As I wrote about yesterday, “The Bachelor” hit a little close to home for me (not in a crying way, just in a “oh, I can relate to that” way), as I felt like in my breakup, I was given the option of trying to save what my fiance and I had. But how do guys feel about how much time and effort they should put into trying to make things work? Or are they more likely to throw in the towel as soon as the going gets rough? Between yesterday and today, I IM’d them to find out. Keep reading »

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