Cosabella, maker of lacy thongs and responsible party for that rampant butt-cleavage trend that helps show them off, has come out with a new type of butt-floss that is decidedly less sexy: The “smooth thong” features a tummy-tucking girdle that comes up to your bellybutton. The first “novelty shapewear thong,” the garment aims to eliminate panty lines and stomach bulges while wearing body-skimming clothes. Apparently, Cosabella is marketing the product to college women as a solution to the Freshman 15. Yeah, we know.

It’s really hard to find sexy underwear that doesn’t pinch, constrict, or ride up your butt. That’s why Hanky Panky thongs are one of the greatest creations ever. They’re oh-so-comfortable and look 100-times sexier than cotton granny panties, since they’re made of stretchy lace. This box of two (one red, one pink) is the perfect Valentine’s Day present for yourself. [$36, Bare Necessities]

We’re giving away Hanky Panky Low Rise Thongs Leopard Heart Box sets from BareNecessities.com, but you have to work if you want two pairs of the most comfortable sexy underwear out there. The three best commenters for this coming week—from today, Friday, Feb. 6, through Thursday, Feb. 12—will win one. So, be as clever, smart, and original as you can! Click HERE to read the official rules.

 

Check out scenes from the new season of Gossip Girl. OMG. Can. Not. Wait. [E!]

We’ve seen abstinence-promoting promise rings, bracelets and even sweats. Now, your underwear, specifically your thong, can announce your commitment to abstinence with slogans like, “Earn your right to wear white. Abstain”, “Iron Hymen”,  and “Beat It,” complete with a finger-pointing Jesus.

While professional soccer players are battling it out in the Euro 2008 competition, a chat room website decided to go and make a more appealing version of the competition in which topless women from various countries played against each other. Actually they were more than topless. In fact they were only wearing thongs. On Sunday, the Austrian team beat Germany 10-5, and spectators enjoyed every minute of play. [Reuters]

We just started wearing thongs, like, yesterday. [Not really, but we have only three pairs and we hate every second of wearing them.] They are uncomfortable and expose the not-so-cute butt cheeks and only serve one purpose and that is to prevent VPL when we’re wearing something tight or sheer-ish. Which is why we don’t understand why thongs are available for girls in the tween age bracket, i.e., seven to 12 years old. When you’re seven to 12 years old, you should be wearing overalls and t-shirts and maybe dresses but only when you’re going to a birthday party or church, if you come from that kind of family. You shouldn’t be wearing tight skirts and low-rise jeans and slutty dresses from the Paris Hilton department at Macy’s. So we did a Google search for “tween thongs”—tech support, it’s research, ok?—and came across some tween/teen online boutique called Daisy Maze, which does indeed sell a wide variety of thong underwear in teeny tiny sizes. What’s scarier is that these thongs cannot possibly even be excused away as totally for VPL-banishing functionality—they have bows and trinkets dangling from them and come in sexy/virginal prints and have such a tiny piece of thread in the back that we seriously blushed. When society’s ills start to make us feel like crotchety old prudish ladies, there is a problem.