Today’s forecast? More muffin top. Jess talked yesterday about how people shouldn’t assume pregnancy is responsible for that little extra pudge around the middle and just keep their mouths shut when it comes to muffin top. But here’s a new brand of ‘top for you: thigh-high muffin top. Thanks to all those fashionable folks sporting over-the-knee boots this season, we are caught in a veritable muffin top s**tstorm, of sorts. What more should you know about the thigh high muffin top? Let me explain…

When I discovered that over-the-knee boots were fall’s “must have,” I flashed to the opening scene of “Pretty Woman” and promptly dismissed them from my future. After seeing the look executed on a non-prostitute, I may have to reconsider. The thigh is the limit for Marta; her Calvin Klein Jeans dress and Zara boots both just reach.

Report Footwear’s Kane boots are so heavy you need a belt to hold ‘em up. [80sPurple.com]

We, much like the rest of the even vaguely fashion-y world, are rather obsessed with thigh high boots for fall. (And speaking from experience—I got my first pair of thigh highs two years ago—I can tell you they’re as bitchin’ in real life as they are on the runway.) The thing is, all that gloriousness can be a little challenging to reign in. And when it’s not correctly executed, you will look like a hooker. (Think Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman.”) Because we love you and want to help you avoid being propositioned by dirty old men in bars, check out our tips for styling thigh high boots.