You might think a world-famous filmmaker and author would be above petty crime. But you would be wrong! Miranda July, the twee mind behind the film “You And Me And Everyone We Know,” has confessed in this week’s issue of The New Yorker to a sordid history of shoplifting. Her first time stealing was during her freshman year of college when she nabbed a package of Neosporin. The minute a guard apprehended her, she wet her pants. And if you think that an incident of public peeing might have put the woman off from shoplifting, you would be wrong again! July continued to shoplift at the grocery store and even at Goodwill. (Yes, this woman stole from charity. Oof.) If you ever go to one of Miranda July’s book signings, watch your purse. [New Yorker]
Alas, Miranda July isn’t the only celeb with sticky fingers. Here are 10 more female celebs who have (allegedly) given themselves a five finger discount.
Look, we’re not advocating criminal activity; we’re just saying that if you’re going to steal something from a stranger’s house, why not take some bacon? Like this as-yet-unidentified thief from Red Hill, Surry, England, who surreptitiously stole a telephone and a packet of bacon from a house. While the telephone has since been recovered, the bacon is still on the lam (or in the thief’s belly, duh).
Said Detective Con Knowles, who is diligently working the case, “The victims are at a loss to understand why someone would break in to their house and steal a packet of bacon and we are equally stumped as to who this potentially peckish suspect is.” [BBC] Keep reading »
A thief with a knife came at a woman and her six-month-old baby as they walked down the hallway in a Tokyo apartment building. The armed man demanded money, but when she told him she had none, he barged into her apartment. The woman made him a cup of tea, and the thief put his knife away and talked about his life for 20 minutes. Then, the woman gave him $93 and he left. Police were unable to catch the man. My question is: What kind of tea did she give him? I could use some of that. [Reuters] Keep reading »